Total Drama VGP
by Freedom Fighter
Summary: The sequel to "Total Drama Fantasy" has arrived! Trent and Cody still want to win Gwen's heart, but now they have to contend with Duncan too. How to settle it? By parodying numerous video game genres, of course! Oh, and more Izzy insanity! Woo!
1. Who Are You Guys?

Fade in to an open meadow with a yellow brick road running through the midst of it. Suddenly, a female could be heard approaching, starting to sing a song...

"I... I... I... I..."

Lindsay appeared over the horizon, skipping happily along the path as she was dressed in a sky blue pinafore over a frilly white shirt, blue ankle-length socks, and ruby red slippers. She also had a leather satchel on, with the strap running from her left shoulder, over her chest, and to the bag itself, resting against her right hip. It looked as if dated back to the Pony Express days, but on it, stamped in white letters, were the words 'Important Cargo Inside,' and 'Jewelz!' Apparently, Lindsay was on a delivery run of some sort.

But her job was the last thing on her mind as she was singing a tune to the melody of "We're Off to See the Wizard."

"Oh... I'm off to watch the wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz! It's airing on Cartoon Network tonight, but somehow that doesn't sound right! Should not they just be airing some cartoons, for those good boys and them lovely loons, because because because because **BECAUSE**... shoot, I don't recall what the next line was! I'm off to watch the wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

But as Lindsay happily trotted along, she was unaware that someone was waiting for up ahead, hiding in some bushes. He had apparently laid a trap, and was just waiting for it to be sprung.

And it all started with a sign that had been planted at a nearby fork in the road. It pointed down the left fork and read 'Free Gift for All Girls Named Lindsay!' Lindsay came upon it, and stopped to read it.

"Oh my gosh!" she gasped. "I'm a girl! And my name's Lindsay! And I **LOVE** free gifts!"

Lindsay made her way down the left fork, which diverted her off of the yellow brick road and onto a concrete sidewalk, and before long, she saw a small round table set up with an even smaller, rectangular piece of plastic on top of it.

Upon seeing it, Lindsay squealed with delight as she ran over and plucked the object from the table, which happened to be...

"A one hundred dollar gift card to the Khaki Barn!" she exclaimed. "**EEEEEEEEE!**"

Suddenly, a spherical cage dropped down from above, trapping anybody who happened to be under it. Unfortunately for the attacker, Lindsay was standing outside of the cage... and she was none the wiser.

That is, until her attacker, who happened to be Chris McLean, marched angrily out of the bushes with his hands thrown up in frustration.

"That's the **LAST** time I order from ACME," Chris grumbled loudly.

Lindsay gasped as she squinted and tried to remember his name.

"Um... Tyler?"

"For Pete's sake, you're supposed to be **IN** the cage, you dingbat!"

"Don't tell me," Lindsay groaned in disappointment. "The sign lied and this **ISN'T** a free gift!"

"You'd be right! But..."

Before Chris could explain his true purpose, Lindsay handed over her satchel to him. A little stumped, Chris opened it... and was greeted by the sight of twelve brightly shining jewels, or birthstones, to be exact.

"That should about cover it! Now, if you'll excuse me... **I'VE GOT A HUNDRED DOLLAR GIFT CARD!**"

Lindsay ran off with the gift card, leaving Chris holding the bag. Literally.

"That... didn't work out as I planned."

Suddenly, a brown haired man in his fifties, wearing a business suit, stepped out and onto the sidewalk, with two bar stools in hand. He placed them on the ground, sat down on one, then motioned for Chris to sit on the other.

"Have a seat, sir," he said.

"Who are you?" Chris asked.

"I'm Chris Hansen, and you're on..."

But before he could finish, 'Total Drama' Chris had already started running off. The other Chris pointed, and suddenly a swarm of cops appeared to give chase.

"Someone's gonna pay for this!" Chris could be heard yelling as he and his pursuers disappeared into the distance.

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP**  
><strong>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

And so it begins! Again!

I recommend that if you haven't read the original, "Total Drama Fantasy," stop and go read that first. If you have, welcome to the sequel, where the only things you need to remember from "Fantasy" are that the ending **DIDN'T** happen and the chapter count picks up from where we left off.

Wait, what?

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Fourteen - Who Are You Guys? (06.07.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

The sun was shining brightly over a dusty old village, filled with quaint little people that dressed like it was still 1896.

(*Narrator sings*  
>Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends!<br>We're so glad you could attend!  
>Come inside! Come inside!<p>

*coughs, then talks*  
>Or rather, outside!<br>To a small village lost in time  
>One that goes by the name...<br>Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious?

Ca-... can't we just call it Toronto?)

(*Izzy*  
><strong>NO!<strong> We did that last time!)

(*Narrator*  
>Fine. But I'm not repeating the name.)<p>

(*Izzy*  
>Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious!)<p>

(*Narrator*  
>That's 34 bytes of our writing budget you just wasted!)<p>

(*Izzy*  
>Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious!)<p>

(*Narrator*  
>68...)<p>

(*Izzy*  
>Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious!<br>Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious!  
>Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious!)<p>

(*Narrator*  
>Just... just cut to the leads already...)<p>

A mass of people (ahem, extras) rushed towards the edge of the village, hearing about a stranger who had collapsed there. But the group did not completely consist of people we will never see again after this opening scene, as the sounds of two teenage boys attempting to make their way to the front could be heard.

Eventually, the crowd parted, and out stepped... Trent and Cody.

"You seein' what I'm seein', fraternal twin brother?" Trent asked as he glanced over at Cody.

"I'm definitely seein' what you're seein', fraternal twin brother," Cody responded.

Trent scratched his head, a bit confused.

"Remind me... when you reckon we became fraternal twin brothers?"

Cody shrugged his shoulders.

"Dunno. But that's what it be saying on our birth certificates!"

The two boys proceeded to pull them out for everyone to see. And they had the long-form version of them, too. They all saw the three words that had been stamped at the top of their certificates.

**FRATERNAL TWINS, YEP!**

With that matter settled, the boys pocketed their documents and turned their attention to the teenager face-down in the dirt in front of them.

"Where do you suppose he came from?" Cody asked aloud.

"Pismo Beach," replied Trent. "Probably made a wrong turn at Albuquerque."

The duo then saw the green mohawk embedded in the guy's black hair, and they instantly figured out who had stumbled into their village.

"**IT'S DUNCAN!**"

* * *

><p>Trent and Cody took Duncan to their house, and laid him down in Cody's racecar-shaped bed. As soon as they did, though, he began coming to. Duncan groaned as he sat up, pressing his right hand against his forehead as he tried to get his bearings.<p>

"Ugh... what hit me?"

As his eyesight came into focus, he realized that Trent and Cody were standing before him.

"Oh, **CRAP!**"

Duncan jumped out of the bed, and hastily reached for the nearest object he could use as a weapon. It turned out to be... a Bratz doll.

"What the hell, man?" Duncan looked crossly at Cody.

"It's my sister's!" Cody quickly explained.

Trent leaned over to whisper something in his twin's ear.

"We have a sister?"

"Ix-nay on the ister-say!"

"Look, whatever," Duncan said, tossing the doll aside. "How did you guys capture me, huh? You drug me? Smashed a bottle over my head? Or did I trip, bang my head against a rock, and develop amnesia?"

Trent gasped. "That's **EXACTLY** how Cody came to this town!"

"Dude!" Cody whined. "Why do you keep telling people that?"

"Wait!" Duncan realized. "I can't have amnesia because... I remember who you dorks are! And... you married Gwen!"

Duncan pointed at Trent...

"And... so did you!"

...and then at Cody. The two looked at each other oddly, then at Duncan.

"How do you know that we dream about marrying Gwen someday?" Trent asked.

"Dream?" Duncan gawked in surprise. "It really happened! The both of you married Gwen! At the same time!"

The two of them laughed hysterically.

"Wha... what are you laughing about?"

"Dude," replied Cody. "I know Trent and I are fraternal twin brothers and all, and we share a lot of things..."

"...but us?" Trent cut in. "Being married to Gwen at the same time? No. That's polygamy."

"Besides... why we would share Gwen? She may be as hot as the sun, but there's not enough of her to radiate both of our loins. If you know what I mean, wink, wink."

"ARGH!" Duncan screamed, holding his head in pain. "How do you not remember that? And the wedding, too. **THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!**"

"**OOPS, HA HA!**" someone shouted from off-screen. "My bad! Knew I forgot to do something today!"

Duncan instantly placed the voice as belonging to...

"Iz-"

But before he could finish, said person appeared out of nowhere, with a one-ton wooden mallet, and used it to deliver a knockout blow to Duncan's head.

**BAM!**

And just like that, Duncan was out cold again.

* * *

><p>Duncan awakened from his forced slumber, and found himself in bed again. But not in the same one as before, as he was now in a more average, rectangular-sized full-size bed. As he sat up, he heard a female voice call to him from the downstairs.<p>

"Duncan!" she exclaimed. "If you don't get out of bed now, you're gonna be late for the first day of your Pokémon journey!"

"**AW, HELL NO!**" Izzy shouted from off-screen.

Izzy appeared again, with an even bigger mallet, and bonked Duncan on the head even harder.

**BAM! THUMP!**

* * *

><p>"We really should wake him up, Cody. We've got a story to get on with."<p>

"Me? Why do I have to wake him up, Trent?"

"Because he's in **YOUR** bed!"

Duncan came to a third time, and as he sat up, his headache had blown up into a full migraine... with a protruding bump sticking out of his mohawk to boot.

"You're awake!" Cody realized, before slowly backing away. "Now, before you get angry, Duncan, I had **NOTHING** to do with that bump..."

"Bump?" Duncan looked perplexed. "What... bump?"

Trent and Cody both slowly pointed towards the top of Duncan's head.

"Wait? Who... who are you guys?"

Duncan acted as if he did not know who they were.

"Not that I think about it... **WHO THE [BLEEP] AM I?**"

(*Izzy*  
>And this is a good place for a commercial break!)<p>

(*Narrator*  
><strong>THERE ARE NO COMMERCIALS IN FANFICTIONS!<strong>  
>On sites that host fanfictions, maybe...<br>Wait, I'm not paying you to narrate! **GET OUT OF MY BOOTH!**)

* * *

><p>"<strong>I PAID THREE MILLION CANADIAN DOLLARS TO TELL YOU I HAVE RABIES!<strong>" Izzy yelled at the top of her lungs. "Oh, and Izzy's Backwater Emporium! **YEAH!**"

* * *

><p>(*Izzy*<br>Best three million of Chris' money I've ever spent!)

(*Chris*  
>You spent six months of my hairspray budget for <strong>THAT<strong>?)

(*Narrator*  
><strong>GET OUT OF THIS BOOTH OR I STOP THIS PARODY RIGHT NOW!<strong>)

"**HEY!**" an angry Gwen shouted in Trent and Cody's faces. "**I HAVE A CONTRACT!**"

The two boys were standing outside, unfortunately on the receiving end of Gwen and her tirade.

"You what now?" muttered Cody.

"**I HAVE A CONTRACT** that states that, in case of a sequel, I get a twenty percent increase in screen time **AND** a thirty percent bump up in pay! And here we are, already halfway through the first chapter, **AND I HAVE TO FORCE MY WAY IN JUST TO GET RECOGNIZED?**"

"It's not our fault..." Trent attempted to explain.

"And another thing," continued Gwen, "**WHO ARE THE CRACKPOTS IN WARDROBE THAT ARE MAKING ME WEAR THIS?**"

Gwen pointed out the outfit she was wearing, which was a one-piece tan-but-mostly-black corset that made her waist look even smaller than it normally did, if that was possible, pushed out her chest, and made her butt stick out.

Of course, upon getting a good look at her, Trent and Cody had to quickly cover the nostrils with their hands to keep all of the blood in their bodies from gushing out.

"**I LOOK LIKE MEGAN FOX IN JONAH HEX!** Only I'm a **MUCH** better actre-..."

Gwen did not get to finish her sentence, as the tightness of her corset was not only making it hard for her to breathe, but it was also preventing any blood from circulating down to her legs. And all the yelling she was doing certainly did not help her, either.

Gwen collapsed, falling onto the ground. Her face started turning different colors as she flailed her arms every which way.

"Oh no!" Trent gasped. "What should we do?"

Cody suggested, "We should take her clothes off!"

Gwen kicked Cody in the nads. He grabbed them and doubled over in pain.

"We should loosen her clothes a bit," he managed to wince out a better idea.

Trent followed that suggestion, loosening Gwen's corset slightly. After a few seconds, Gwen's face started to turn its normal pasty white. She waited until her breathing normalized and she could feel her legs before finally moving.

"Gah!" Gwen finally said with relief. "I thought I was gonna die!"

"We're just glad it didn't happen," Trent smiled. "At least... not until I got a chance to take you out on a date."

"Hey!" Cody objected as he got back up, having recovered from Gwen's low blow. "It was my suggestion to loosen her corset! Besides, the Great Fairy told me!"

Trent looked skeptical.

"The Great Fairy? The Great Fairy from 'The Legend of Zelda,' told you?"

"Yep."

"You sure you don't mean Navi?"

"Since when is Navi a Great Fairy?"

"**HEY!**" Gwen shouted. "**LISTEN!**"

"Aw, crap," Cody gulped. "Gwen's mad again."

"I'm not mad! I'm... I'm... just frustrated."

Gwen slowly trotted over to a nearby bench to sit down on. The boys joined her, plopping down on either side of her.

"I feel so... conflicted," Gwen poured out. "It's like... part of me is pulling me one way, and the other part is pulling me a different way. And let's not forget the voice in my head that thinks I'm anorexic, but I know I'm not because I had half a piece of toast for breakfast yesterday. Meh... what does **SHE** know?"

"I totally understand what you're going through," Trent and Cody told her in unison.

Gwen's face and demeanor suddenly perked up.

"Really? Oh, guys, that's such a relief! Because the truth is..."

"Hey!" Duncan shouted as he trotted into the scene. "You guys were supposed to help me figure out what my name is!"

Duncan then stopped approaching upon seeing Gwen. His jaw nearly dropped to the ground as his eyes became enamored with her angelic form. He ran over, pulled Gwen off of the bench before Trent or Cody could stop him, and brought her in close enough that her body pressed firmly against his.

"Hey," Duncan smiled as he gazed deeply into Gwen's eyes. "My name is Duncan..."

"**YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOUR NAME YET!**" Cody yelled from afar.

But Gwen did not care, as she seemed entranced by the aura he was giving off.

"Duncan, eh? I like that name!"

Duncan smirked. He knew he had her hooked.

"I hope so, babe, 'cause after a night on the town with me, we'll get some grub, scoot on over to my place, and do some boom-boom-pow, if you catch my drift! Then, in one to four weeks, when you find out you're preggers, I'll say... 'It's not my fault! Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a alcohol, blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a alcohol!'"

Upon hearing that declaration, though, Gwen snapped back to reality, growling in disgust over his words.

"And now I'm not feelin' it."

Gwen forced her way out of Duncan's grip, and as she gracefully stumbled a few steps backwards, she did so into the waiting arms of Trent and Cody, who were not all that happy with Duncan's plans, either.

"You were planning on getting Gwen drunk?" Cody asked. "How dare you?"

"She's fifteen!" exclaimed Trent.

"Sixteen," Gwen quickly corrected.

"She's sixteen!"

"Pfft," Duncan blew them off. "Many teenagers drink anyway. It's a known fact!"

"It's still not right!" Cody told him.

"Yeah!" added Trent. "As cartoon characters who are watched every week by impressionable nine-to-fourteen year olds, we must be good role models and always obey the law!"

"Whatever," Duncan rolled his eyes. "We can get away with it because the actors who play our characters are actually of age! Like those cats from 'Gl-...,' I mean, that show that I didn't watch last week."

Gwen raised an eyebrow in intrigue and surprise.

"You watch 'Glee?'"

"No!" defended Duncan. "'Glee' is for dorks!"

"Ten million people say otherwise!" argued Cody.

"The point is," Trent cut in, getting back on track, "is that we're not going to let you go through with what you planned!"

"Oh ho!" chuckled Duncan. "Like you two are gonna stop me!"

Trent and Cody marched over to Duncan, and all three boys growled angrily at each other. Then, without warning, they started wrestling each other in a three-way, fighting to become the alpha male.

But Gwen was not going to stand for them trying to rip each other limb from limb a second more.

"**STOPPPPPP!**"

Upon hearing Gwen, the trio obeyed her request. Trent had one of Duncan's arms pinned behind his back, Duncan was using his other arm in an attempt to give Cody a wedgie, and Cody was trying to give Duncan more amnesia by bopping him on the head with his left shoe.

"I get it! All three of you want me, and there's **NO** way I'm even going to contemplate a foursome..."

"Don't knock it 'til you try it, sweet cheeks," suggested Duncan.

For that suggestion, Gwen rewarded Duncan with a boot to the head.

"**OW!**" Duncan cried.

"He gets a boot to the head and I get one to the nads?" complained Cody. "How is **THAT** fair?"

Gwen responded... by giving Cody a boot to the head as well.

"**OUCHIE!**"

"Sheesh!" Trent remarked. "I'm so glad I'm the non-pervy guy."

"Aw," Gwen cooed. "I appreciate that. Still, gotta be fair!"

Gwen then gave Trent... oh, you should know by now.

"**GAH... BRAIN DAMAGE!**"

"Now, as I was saying... the only way this is going to be settled is for you three to compete for my heart! I'm the sole judge, and I decide how you score! At the end of the story, the guy with the most points... is the guy who wins me!"

"That sounds fair enough," Trent said.

Cody and Duncan nodded in agreement.

"But..." Gwen interjected, still feeling that her idea needed a bit more oomph, "we need an overarching storyline for the readers to focus on while this matter gets leisurely settled in the background. Hmmm... whom can we seek out to get us one of those?"

* * *

><p>Fifteen minutes later, at Izzy's Backwater Emporium...<p>

"An overarching storyline?"

Gwen and the guys were inside the building, as apparently her idea was to seek an idea from the resident loon, Izzy, who was wearing a potato sack over her body... because she was Izzy and she could wear whatever she wanted.

"Hmmm..." Izzy murmured out loud. "Not sure if we have one of those. Hold on... **HEY, LOWLY APPRENTICE!**"

Izzy turned around to look back into the storage area, and a few seconds later, Harold marched out wearing a tuxedo... and a giant, heavy spiked turtle shell strapped to his back. Duncan snickered.

"Where, oh where, do I begin razzing on you for this?"

"It's called hazing!" Harold explained. "**GOSH!**"

"Quiet, worm!" shouted Izzy, elbowing Harold in the stomach. "You cannot talk unless I tell you to! Now, give us a storyline!"

Harold obliged... by presenting the satchel from the prologue. He opened it to show off the twelve jewels inside, which shone in amazement to Trent, Cody, Gwen, and Duncan.

"So," Izzy said, "jewels! Twelve of them! Go find 'em!"

The gang looked at each other, dumbfounded. Finally, Gwen said what they were thinking.

"News flash, Izzy... they're right there."

Before they knew it, the roof retracted, Harold and the 12 jewels were launched into the distance by a catapult. Once in mid-air, the jewels developed a mind of their own and split off into 12 different directions. Harold managed to grab one as it rocketed off, and he was pulled along for the ride.

A few seconds later, Trent, Cody, and Duncan all had their mouths hanging wide open in disbelief, while Gwen had a peeved look on her face as she glared at Izzy. The lunatic, on the other hand, seemed pleased as punch as she looked back at Gwen and said...

"You like being wrong, don't ya?"

***** To be continued... *****  
><em>[this fic sponsored by Izzy's Backwater Emporium<em>  
><em>located at the corner of Fantasy and Insanity!]<em>


	2. Help Us Out!

In a dark, dark room, deep within the confines of a square building located twenty thousand leagues under the sea...

"**THAT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE!**"

"Shut up, Chef!"

Chef mumbled a few curse words under his breath as he took his spot next to Josh and Blaineley. Their attention was on the leader of their gang, Chris.

"Now, what was I about to... oh yeah, villain overlord speech! Associates and minions..."

The lights went up, and it was shown that the foursome was not alone. They had with them a few dozen men dressed in orange prison jumpsuits - the same as the foursome except for Blaineley, who was in a red one - and those men were split into the groups based on what kind of villain mask they were sporting. Anything from Darth Vader to Dick Dastardly, and everything in-between.

"...lend me your ears!"

Chris was then rightfully pelted by several dozen pairs of fake ears.

"Nice," he quipped sarcastically. "As I was about to say, we are all gathered here in this underwater high-security prison for numerous reasons. Most of which are of the immoral kind. I for one, was arrested for propositioning an underage girl for sexual relations - which is **NOT TRUE**, by the way!"

Suddenly, the sound of a doorbell ringing could be heard. Chris continued his speech and everyone kept focused on him... except for Blaineley, to go find the source of said bell.

"Now, over the course of my arrest, the boys in blue took something near and dear to me..."

"Your virginity!" someone in the crowd shouted.

"...the famed Lost Gems of Wawanakwa!"

Chris held up a poster with them on it, and Josh squinted to look at it.

"Those... kinda look like birthstones."

"Don't demean them with such a condescending name!" scolded Chris. "They hold the souls of the cast members of the upcoming show 'Total Drama: Revenge of the Island!'"

"But aren't there suppose to be thirteen cast members?"

"Yeah."

"And aren't there twelve birthstones?"

"Yeah."

"So... how does that wor-"

"Two of them share one, okay! Look, the point I was trying to make was that those stones are the key to..."

"Pizza's here!" interrupted Blaineley, as she reached for the door knob.

"**NOOOOO!**" everyone shouted. "**DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR!**"

Blaineley stopped, blinked her eyes several times as everyone just stared at her just standing there...

And then she grabbed the knob and turned it anyway.

**CRACKLE!**

Almost instantaneously, the deep sea building collapsed within itself, the intense water pressure crushing the one square-mile area prison into a sphere less than a quarter-inch in diameter.

(And... all of our villains just died.  
>Anyone know a good temp agency?)<p>

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP  
>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

Glad to hear everyone is glad to see this sequel so far! The video game genre parodies officially begin with this installment, which features educational games!

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Fifteen - Help Us Out! (06.14.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

Now mounted with a storyline, Trent, Cody, Duncan, and Gwen were now in the process of buying supplies for the journey of unknown length that lied ahead of them. And boy, were they buying a lot of supplies, as they brought four carts full of stuff to the counter. Izzy began processing the order, calling out each item as she punched its price into the register by hand.

"Three 12-packs of energy drinks, four cans of mosquito repellant, two A-grade medical kits, a package with three 20-sided dice..."

Trent leaned over to Cody, as he had a question for him.

"Um... how are we gonna pay for all this?"

"...two green elven shirts, two green pairs of elf tights, a Sword of Ages, a Shield of Ages, a Bow of the Ages, a quiver of Arrows... of Ages..."

Gwen tapped Cody on the shoulder worriedly.

"Really, Cody... how **ARE** we gonna pay for all this?"

"...Yakko, Wakko, and their sister Dot, the black Green Lantern, Penn but not Teller..."

Duncan grabbed Cody, picked him up off of the ground, and asked him, point blank...

"How are we gonna pay for this? Because if you say 'steal it all,' you're on your own!"

"...and last, but not least," Izzy finally wrapped up, "a Blu-Ray copy of 'Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.'"

Trent and Duncan looked at him weirdly.

"What? It's a good movie!"

"Alrighty," Izzy said excitedly. "Let's see what your total is!"

Izzy pulled out her old-timey mathematical calculation device, better known as an abacus, and she came up with a reasonable number... which she wrote on her hand in pen and showed to the gang, who read the value out loud in dramatic fashion.

"A-B-C-D-E-F-G?"

"Huh?"

Izzy seemed confused at the number they had recited back. And then she remembered...

"Oops! Izzy, you knucklehead! You gave them the combination to your safety deposit box at the Bank of Exotic Hams and Spices!"

Izzy pulled out a pad of sticky notes, wrote a number that actually had numerals on it this time, and took that small note, grabbed Gwen's left hand, and adhered it to her palm, face-up.

"One... million... dollars!" Gwen exclaimed in shock.

"Dude," Trent said to Cody. "Where are we gonna get that kind of money?"

"That's more than anyone's ever walked away with on this dumb show," grumbled Duncan.

"Not to worry!" Cody reassured his friends as he walked past them and up to the counter. "I know just how to pay for it!"

"I'm not doing a porno with you," Izzy deadpanned.

"**THEN IT'S ON TO PLAN B!**" Cody declared.

Cody produced a shoebox out of nowhere and placed it down on the counter, right in front of Izzy. He lifted off the lid, and to her surprise, it was filled to brim with coupons. Hundreds and hundreds of coupons.

"**UGH!**" Izzy growled. "Do you know how long it's going to take for me to scan **ALL** of these coupons?"

"Uh..."

"Three days, 10 hours, 33 minutes, and 52 seconds! Wanna bet?"

"No, not rea-..."

* * *

><p>Three days, 10 hours, 33 minutes, and 52 seconds later...<p>

"I win!" Izzy declared.

"**JUST GIVE US THE FRIGGIN' TOTAL ALREADY!**" yelled Duncan.

Izzy turned to her modern-day register, complete with digital display.

"Your total comes to... 18 dollars and 12 cents!"

Trent and Duncan were stunned at how much money Cody had saved them. Gwen was so impressed that she not only hugged him, but gave him five quick pecks on the cheek... as well as five points towards winning her heart.

[Scoreboard: Trent 0, Cody 5, Duncan 0]

"That's amazing! Just how long did it take you to clip all those coupons?"

"About nine months, give or take a few days. It's a fun hobby that's apparently called extreme couponing."

(**EXTREMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE COUPONING!**)

"Yep. Now, to pay..."

Cody reached for his back pocket to pull out his wallet... only to realize that it was not there.

"Say, Gwen... can you spot me a twenty?"

Gwen glared at him.

"**WHAT?** You know I'm good for it!"

* * *

><p>A couple minutes later, Gwen was seen angrily stomping out of Izzy's shop, grumbling as she held a cylindrical jar with skin flakes in it. Shortly thereafter, the guys appeared, pushing and pulling their carts. Cody had a hand up to the cheek where Gwen had kissed him.<p>

"She had to grate the skin flakes where she kissed me!" complained Cody. "Why couldn't she have taken away the points instead?"

"We've got a bigger problem, doofus," pointed out Duncan. "How are we gonna carry all this?"

Cody reached into one of the carts, and pulled out an aerosol spray can from it. He lowered his hand and sprayed the affected area of his face. The skin graft instantly disappeared. Cody then used his other hand to pull out a green knapsack with a face on the front of it. He slipped the can in underneath the flap covering the top opening, and the backpack reacted...

"Yum yum yum..." it exclaimed, in Izzy's voice. "delizioso!"

"You got green knapsacks that have Izzy voice chips in 'em?" Trent asked, quizzically. "And apparently, she knows Italian now?"

"Cut me some slack!" argued Cody. "I wanted the living backpacks with that kid who speaks Spanish. But they were twice as expensive!"

"But that **STILL** doesn't explain how we're..." Duncan reiterated.

But before Duncan could finish, Cody went to work emptying the cart in front of him and inserting all of the objects into the knapsack. Trent and Duncan watched in complete astonishment as everything in said cart was put into the knapsack. And not only did it all fit, but the knapsack had not grown an inch in size or an ounce in weight.

"**TA DA!**" Cody shouted.

"Done already?" Izzy moaned with disappointment. "Now I know how Big O feels after going to a buffet. **I'M STILL HUNGRY!**"

Cody walked over to another cart and pulled out two more knapsacks.

"Feed me!" both Izzy-voiced bags shouted. "**FEED ME!**"

He threw them over to Trent and Duncan.

"You better listen to them. I hear they try to eat your head if you don't feed them quickly."

But it was too late, as Duncan's had already leaped onto the top of his head and had its mouth wrapped over his head.

"You don't say..." mumbled Duncan.

* * *

><p>Once they were finished, the boys caught up with Gwen, who was standing at a junction where the road split into three different paths. And not only did each path lead to a different place, but it was also colored different.<p>

"What's up, Gwen?" Trent asked.

Gwen turned around to answer.

"Oh, there you guys are! I was beginning to worry that none of you really want to win my heart."

"Of course we do!" the three boys told her.

"By the way," Trent spoke up as he approached Gwen, "here's your knapsack."

He handed Gwen her knapsack, but hers was different. It was purple, and it had the face of a vampire on it.

"Um... thanks?"

"Quick!" Cody politely demanded. "Put something in it!"

Gwen shrugged her shoulders, then squatted down and picked up a pebble of the ground. She stood back up, and then inserted the object into her bag. A male voice with a Dracula-like accent spoke up.

"Twenty! **TWENTY** objects in me! Ah ah ah ah ah!"

His statement was accompanied by thunder and lightning... even though there was not a single cloud in the sky.

"Really, guys? Why do you people keep thinking that, just because I'm a goth, that I like vampires? This is like 2010 all over!"

* * *

><p><em>Flashback to last year...<em>

_Trent had a look of embarrassment on his face as he looked down at the Team Edward shirt he was wearing. But that was nothing compared to the angry look on Gwen's face, as she now had on a Team Jacob shirt._

_"And we're doing cutaways now? I **HATE** 'Family Guy,'" she growled before stomping off._

_[Scoreboard: Trent -2, Cody 5, Duncan 0]_

_"Minus two?" Trent freaked. "This isn't even my fault!"_

* * *

><p>Present day...<p>

"Look!" growled Gwen. "Can we just get back to the plot? And by that I mean... let's figure out which path to take!"

"That's easy!" Cody declared. "Izzy told us before we left that Harold flew off in the direction of a nearby amusement park! So, all we gotta do is follow the path that heads there!"

Cody walked towards the junction, then turned to the screen.

"Okay, readers at home! Help us out! Which path should we take to get to the amusement park?"

A far view showed what lied at the end of each of the paths. At the end of the yellow path was a forest, at the end of the blue was a Ferris wheel, and at the end of the red was a skyscraper-filled city.

"C'mon, guys! Which one?"

Cody waited for a response.

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And was finally answered... when he was clocked in the head with a dodgeball, which knocked him to the ground.

"**WE'RE NOT IN PRESCHOOL, DIPWAD!**" Duncan yelled.

"Right," Cody mumbled, with his face in the ground. "The blue path!"

"Now our adventure can begin!" declared Trent, who was now wearing his elf costume.

"Wait," Duncan remarked. "When did you find time to put that o-?"

"I've got my sword!" Trent continued, unsheathing his sword and holding it up in the air.

"I got my map!" Cody jumped in, right as rain, dressed in his Japanese high school boys' gym uniform, and waving a furled map.

"And I've got my black magic dust!" shouted Gwen, in her black leotard, cape, and skirt ensemble, as she held up a small black pouch hanging from a lanyard around her neck. "The goblins gave it to me so that we can use it to **FLY**! But only in emergencies!"

"What are you guys talking about?" screeched Duncan.

Suddenly, a melody started playing in the background.

"And... music? I thought my contract said 'Duncan doesn't sing!'"

And then... Duncan found himself dressed as a human-sized parrot.

"**AND I'M NOT A [BLEEP]IN' FURRY!**"

"Yo ho, **LET'S GO!**" exclaimed Trent, ignoring Duncan's cries.

* * *

><p>One scene-wipe later, the group was seen marching down the blue path, singing to the beat. All except for Duncan, who brought up the rear and was angrily refusing to play along with the bit.<p>

_Yo ho, mateys away!_  
><em>There'll be treasure and adventure today! [Duncan: ...]<em>  
><em>Heave ho, here we go, together as a team!<em>  
><em>Trent and the Parody Troopers... and <strong>ME<strong>!_

* * *

><p>The quarter reached the end of the path, and the amusement park. But it was not much of a park, as it only had one attraction... the Ferris Wheel. Thankfully, the attraction had a bonus.<p>

Harold, who was stuck in the car all the way at the top of the wheel. And the Ferris Wheel was not moving at all.

"Look up there!" Cody directed attention back to the plot. "It's Harold!"

"**HELP!**" shouted Harold. "I'm in peril!"

"Can we just leave him up there?" questioned Duncan. "I don't feel like savin' him."

"Huzzah!" someone greeted from afar.

The group turned and saw Noah trotting towards them.

"Looks like everypony's here."

"It's Noah," Trent stated the obvious, "and... wait, say that again?"

"Um... looks like everypony's here."

Trent looked confused. "Everypony?"

Noah pointed to a nearby control panel, which was the sole means of operation for the Ferris Wheel.

"It's broken. Fix it."

They walked over and Gwen stepped up to it to examine it in detail. She found a sticky note taped to it, which she pulled off and read aloud.

"'This panel can only be operated if the animal pictured is spelled out correctly.' Okay... so what animal are we talking about?"

Gwen looked at the top and saw a cylindrical light bulb with a duck on it. And right underneath it were four circular spaces for letters.

(A duck! A duck!)

"Right!" Gwen said with a smile. "A duck! So, to get the panel working again, we need to spell the word 'duck.'"

The gang started glancing left and right, looking for letters, which were printed on basketball-sized white spheres.

"There's some over there!" Gwen, Trent, and Cody all shouted, though each of them was pointing in a different direction.

The trio split up to search the surrounding area. Trent was the first to reach his, finding a bunch on the ground near a trash can.

"Okay! One of these letters is in the word 'duck.' I wonder which one..."

On one side of the receptacle were a 'T' and a 'L,' while on the other, there was a 'D' and a 'S'. After a few seconds, the 'D' sparkled for a brief moment, but just long enough for Trent to see it.

"'D!' There's a 'D' in 'duck!'"

Trent picked the sphere up and headed back. Meanwhile, Gwen had reached her pack, which were mixed among a pile of acorns near a tree.

"You can't have a word without a vowel! I've got to figure out which one of these vowels is in the word 'duck.'"

Arranged before her, from left to right, were the vowels: 'A,' 'E,' 'I,' 'O,' and 'U.'

"Hmmm... which one?"

Four squirrels suddenly popped out of the acorn pile, each holding an acorn in paw. They then used them to destroy a sphere each, not relenting in their assault until there was only one left.

'U.'

"Gee..." Gwen remarked as she bent down to pick it up, "I really hope this is the right letter!"

She started heading back. Nearby, Cody had come across four cubes made of bricks that were floating in the air. There was a small signpost nearby, which Cody read aloud.

"'Warning! Do not attempt to hit these blocks with your bare head. It will hurt.'"

Cody started tapping his foot repeatedly, trying to think what to do.

"I could find a letter inside one of those blocks, but I need a way to hit them without getting a concussion."

Cody then gasped.

"I know! I'll use that new item I got at Izzy's Emporium!"

He glanced over his shoulder and towards his knapsack.

"Knapsack! I need the Roulette Block!"

The knapsack obliged, spitting up the Roulette Block. Different items were scrolling along the face of it, including a Super Mushroom, a Star, a Propeller Suit, and a Blue Shell. It continued to cycle through those four items.

"Have to time this just right, because each item can only be used once..."

Cody clenched his fist and punched the block. Out of it popped the Super Mushroom. He reached out and touched it...

And instantly grew two feet. And gained a tan hat with the letter 'C' on it.

"This should do the trick!"

Cody walked over to the floating brick blocks and jumped up to hit them one at a time. After hitting the first, a sphere rose out of the top of the block. It was a 'F' sphere.

"I got an 'F!' Is there an 'F' in the word 'duck?'"

Cody looked to the screen, waiting for an answer.

(No!)

"Nope. There's no 'F' in 'duck.' Let's try the next one."

Cody hit the second, and it broke into pieces on contact.

"Uh oh. Looks like that one's empty."

Cody leaped up and hit the third. This time, a 'K' sphere appeared.

"It's a 'K!' Does 'duck' have a 'K' in it?"

Again, Cody waited for a response from the readers.

(Yes! Yes!)

"No? Then let's keep going!"

(Yes! Yes, we said yes, dummkopf!)

Cody was about to destroy the last one, when he was suddenly hit by a 'C' sphere, which had been thrown at him.

**PEW PEW PEW!**

Cody was knocked to the ground, shrinking back to his normal size in the process. He ached in pain as he sat up and saw Duncan jump on top of the blocks and picked up the 'K' sphere.

"Stop being a moron! We've got a nerd to save!"

* * *

><p>The two returned with their spheres to the control panel, where Trent and Gwen had already placed their letters into their correct spaces... and had found time to get in a quick make-out session, even though Noah was standing there, watching them the whole time.<p>

[Trent earned 5 points!  
>Scoreboard: Trent 3, Cody 5, Duncan 0]<p>

"No fair!" complained Duncan.

Upon hearing his voice, Trent and Gwen broke their kiss.

"Hey," Gwen laughed nervously, "didn't expect you guys back so soon."

"You're just lucky I'm ready for this chapter to end," Duncan grumbled in exhaustion.

Cody and Duncan inserted their letters, and as soon as they did, a lever popped out of the panel. Duncan pulled it down to start up the wheel, and let it run until Harold's car reached the bottom, at which point he pushed the lever back up to stop the wheel.

"Thanks!" Harold said to them as he got out. "I appreciate the..."

"Yeah, yeah, dork, what's our reward?"

"This jewel!"

Harold held up a topaz gem.

"You now have one of the twelve Lost Gems of Wawanakwa! Mistress Izzy informed me that your storyline will be complete when you have collected all twelve!"

Harold handed the topaz to Gwen, who gladly took it.

"Seems simple enough," she stated proudly.

"Famous last words," Harold retorted.

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

"Knapsack!" Cody shouted at his pack. "I need the Save Orb!"

His knapsack spat out something that resembled a crystal ball.

"What's a Save Orb?" Trent asked.

"It saves our progress," Cody replied.

"Good idea," agreed Gwen. "This is a thirteen-chapter epic, after all. I'd hate to have to repeat something."

Cody rubbed the orb, and a virtual screen popped up. On it were the words, 'Do you wish to save? Yes or No?'

"Yes."

A progress meter appeared, and the percentage rose quickly while a message on the screen read 'Currently saving. Do not end the chapter.'

They waited for the meter to fill up completely, and then...

'Save complete.'

"Alright. All set!"

Cody then turned towards the readers' screen.

"And thanks to all of you at home for helping us this week! We appreciate all your help!"

Noah leaned over towards Duncan.

"Um... who is he talking to?"

Duncan growled. "Let's just say I hate interactive chapters."

***** To be continued... *****  
><em>[click here to see Duncan dressed as a cat next week]<em>


	3. Hit it, Lindsay!

Trent, Cody, Duncan, and Gwen were sitting in a cherry red '62 Ford Thunderbird Convertible, watching a movie at night at a drive-in theater. Or were, as the credits were already rolling. The four teenagers got out of the car - Trent and Gwen first, since they were in the front seats, followed by Cody and Duncan, and walked for the exit. Why did they not drive the car out?

Because the car itself had no hood... or no engine, for that matter.

Anyway, they trotted back to the building in which the projector was housed, and they were met by the drive-in manager, who handed a DVD case back to Cody. For you see, he had managed to get them to run the 'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World' DVD he had bought last chapter.

"What did I tell ya?" Cody said with a smile as he looked back at his friends. "It's a good movie, right?"

"Yeah..." Gwen rubbed the back of her neck, hesitant to answer truthfully.

"Seen worse," commented Duncan nonchalant.

"I liked the music," remarked Trent. "I... think?"

"You know what we should do this chapter?" Cody thought aloud. "An homage to 'Scott Pilgrim!'"

"How 'bout you give me a gun and I'll blow my brains out!" Duncan stated.

"You really gonna be like this through the whole fic?" Trent asked him.

"Until we do a parody that doesn't **BORE** me to death, yes!"

"I've got it all figured out!" Cody tried to convince them. "Trent and Duncan, you guys can be two of the evil exes! Everyone hated Alejandro last season, so he can play the big baddie, Gideon! And we can have Courtney be that lesbian half-ninja, Justin playing both of the Japanese twins, and Geoff being the other guy!"

Cody then went over to Gwen, and winked at her as he put his arm around her.

"And Gwen is Ramona, of course! She can **TOTALLY** pull off pink hair!"

"Let me guess," Trent, Gwen, and Duncan all said simultaneously. "**YOU'RE SCOTT PILGRIM!**"

"Of course! We can name the chapter... 'Cody Anderson vs. The World!' What do you think?"

The others took all of one whole second to come up with an answer.

"No."

"But..."

"Besides," Trent said, as he pulled out this chapter's script, "it's already been decided that we're parodying musical games this week. Y'know, 'Rock Band' and the like..."

Cody groaned in disappointment as Trent handed him the script and he read over it. The others started walking off when Cody suddenly had a brilliant idea... and he ran after them to tell them of it.

"That means we can sing something off the 'Scott Pilgrim' soundtrack, right? Right?"

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP**  
><strong>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

If fanfics could play music, I'd be telling you right now to turn up the volume. Good thing that's not the case... no auto-tuning required to enjoy this week's chapter!

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Sixteen - Hit it, Lind$ay! (06.21.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

The foursome made their way downtown on foot, heading towards the club district. They were all dressed in their normal clothes as they tried to find a place to hang out for the evening.

"Lemme just make sure..." Duncan attempted to clarify the rules, "I **DON'T** have to sing?"

"Nope," Trent told him. "Just play an instrument."

Duncan shrugged. "I can live with that."

The group took in all of the sights, including the neon signs, the blaring trance music, and people acting belligerent in the streets.

"Why are we here?" Gwen asked. "We look so out of place!"

"Just act like you're a college student," Duncan told them.

"I thought we established earlier that underage drinking is **NOT** gonna happen in this fic!"

"Relax! I'm sure the plot will make itself known soon enough."

"**HEY!**" some 20-year old in the street yelled as he pointed at Gwen. "The zombies called! They want their pasty white makeup back!"

As his cohorts laughed at his joke and Gwen looking as if she was about to cry, Duncan growled angrily as he rolled up his shirt sleeves...

"Nobody makes fun of Gwen on my watch!"

"Whoa there!" Trent said, reaching over and stopping Duncan from doing something he might regret.

"We don't need to make a scene," Cody added. "And violence is not the answer!"

"Don't listen to them," Trent told Gwen, as he turned him to face her, "When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change. 'Cause you're amazing just the way you are."

"Awwww..." cooed Gwen.

"That's nothing!" exclaimed Cody, as he twisted Gwen around so that she was now facing him. "I'd catch a grenade for ya! Throw my hand on a blade for ya! I'd jump in front of a train for ya! You know I'd do anything for ya!"

"That's sweet..." noted Gwen, before adding, "although a bit much..."

Suddenly, Tyler appeared out of nowhere, shoving Cody aside, all so he could get down on one knee in front of Gwen and tell her...

"Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X! Find a really nice girl, have some really nice se-..."

Tyler stopped, realizing that he could not say the next word. And not just because Gwen was glaring daggers back at him.

"I can't help that Trent and Cody beat me to all the **GOOD** Bruno Mars songs!"

"Alright," Duncan muttered, as he grabbed Tyler by the collar and pulled him to his feet. "What do you want, jock boy?"

"Dudes! I need your help! It's Lindsay! She's in trouble!"

"Trouble?" Gwen asked mockingly. "What kind of trouble? She forget which hand is her left and which one's her right?"

"It's no joke! This isn't a blonde problem! Trust me!"

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Tyler had led the group, who had agreed to assist him, a couple blocks away to an under-18 dance club called the 'Under 18 Club.'<p>

"You guys remember when Lindsay had that obsession with Katy Perry, right?" Tyler asked as they made their way to the entrance.

"Kinda..." the others muttered, their memories a bit fuzzy.

The bouncer opened the door to let the group in, and immediately they heard a pop song starting up in the background. Obviously, not one by Katy Perry, but from someone else that did sound strangely familiar. Inside, the club was about three-quarters full, but most of the patrons were on the dance floor, getting their groove on. A partial curtain was blocking the view of a girl dancing sexily behind it.

"Well," Tyler continued his story, as he talked over the music, "yesterday, the worst thing happened! She stopped obsessing over Katy Perry!"

The quartet shot confused looks at each other, not seeing how this was a problem.

"Teens like us are fickle," Trent told Tyler. "Our musical tastes can change in an instant."

"Yeah," nodded Gwen. "Especially when they learn how much their favorite artist **SUCKS**!"

"Amen, sister," agreed Duncan, who held out his hand, hoping to receive a low-five... to which Gwen happily fulfilled his request.

[Duncan earned 1 point!  
>Scoreboard: Trent 3, Cody 5, Duncan 1]<p>

"I understand that!" Tyler shouted. "But the fact that she changed from Katy Perry isn't the problem!"

"Then... what is?" questioned Cody.

"Well... you see... she's now into... **HER!**"

Suddenly, the curtain dropped to the floor, and the person whom the curvy silhouette stepped out. It was Lindsay, and she was thrusting and gyrating to the beat, with her hair unkempt and all over the place, and her wearing nothing but a severely shredded T-shirt that showed both cleavage and underboob, and short shorts that left very to the imagination.

And then she started singing...

_This place about to blow  
>Blow<br>This place about to blow  
>Blow<br>This place about to blow  
>Blow<br>This place about to blow  
>Blow<em>

Trent, Cody, and Duncan were left stunned silent, gawking at how much skin Lindsay was showing. Tyler was peeved, both at them and Lindsay's new exhibitionist personality. As for Gwen... she acted as if she did not care.

That is, until she saw something sparkling under Lindsay's chin.

Gwen tried to get closer, squinting her eyes as she focused on the stage while simultaneously navigating the crowded dance floor. She also had to deal with Lindsay's constant movement, which made it hard for Gwen to get a good luck.

But just as she got to within five feet of the stage, she was knocked to the floor after bumping into another girl. A girl with a ponytail. One who had glasses over her eyes, freckles on both sides of her face, and was dressed just as much as a slut as Lindsay was.

"Don't you **DARE** touch me!" she exclaimed.

Gwen had to rub her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing things.

"Beth?"

But before Gwen could grab her to get a second look, Beth had already run off... over to a staircase leading up onto the stage. She had in hand something that resembled an air cannon. Beth and another girl joined Lindsay at the center, both positioning their cannons to fire something over the crowd as Lindsay continued to sing...

_We are taking over  
>Get used to it<br>This place about to blow_

On the word 'blow,' the air cannons went off, sending glitter flying all over. Gwen shielded her eyes to protect them, but as a trade off had to deal with it getting in her hair, on her skin, and on her clothes en masse because she was so close to the stage.

_This place about to blow  
>Blow<br>This place about to-_

The song ended, and the crowd went crazy with cheers. But now that Lindsay had stopped moving, Gwen could get a clear look at her neck.

"I knew it! She's wearing a Lost Gem of Wawanakwa!"

* * *

><p>(And now, another thrilling installment of...<br>Intermission with Izzy!  
>This week, Izzy tells you the <strong>EXACT<strong> elimination order of 'Total Drama: Revenge of the Island.')

Izzy walked up on the curtain closed stage, took a deep breath, and began...

"Chicken, Chicken chicken chicken chicken, chicken chicken Chicken, chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken. Chicken chicken chicken, chicken chicken chicken chicken **CHICKEN** chicken. Chicken chicken Chicken chicken chicken chicken, chicken Chicken, Chicken, Chicken, Chicken Chicken, Chicken, chicken **CHICKEN**! Chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken, chicken chicken chicken! Chicken chicken chicken chicken, Chicken chicken Chicken chicken chicken, chicken Chicken chicken chicken chicken. Chicken chicken Chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken, chicken chicken chicken chicken Chicken. Chicken chicken chicken chicken. Chicken chicken chicken chicken. Chicken chicken chicken, chicken?"

Izzy bowed, and then walked off of the stage.

(This has been an Intermission with Izzy!  
>And now, back to the fic!)<p>

* * *

><p>The group was sitting at a table in the club, waiting for several hours for the night to wind down... and for Lindsay and Beth to emerge from their dressing rooms.<p>

"You really think Lindsay's being controlled by the Gem?" Tyler asked again.

"Yes!" Gwen exclaimed. "No one in their right mind would go from Katy Perry to Ke$ha!"

"That explains Lindsay," Cody thought out loud. "But what about Beth? You said she was wearing one too."

Gwen nodded. "Yeah. But she had a different one."

Trent pulled out a book entitled 'Famous Lost Gems of the World' and opened it on the table to the page referring to the ones from Wawankwa.

"This is the one that dork Harold had," Duncan stated, pointing to the topaz.

"I'm pretty sure Lindsay's was the pearl," Gwen recalled, identifying it in the picture. "As for Beth's..."

She examined the remaining choices, and after a few seconds, the guys watched her place her finger on the peridot.

"That one. I think."

"So now that we know which Gems they have," Trent said aloud, "how do we go about getting them from them?"

Tyler glanced over to a far corner of the room and saw a big screen TV and a bunch of gaming instruments.

"Well," he told the group, "when in Cleveland..."

"We're not in Cleveland," deadpan-corrected Gwen.

"But the Rock and Roll Hall-"

"Don't care, just get the girls."

* * *

><p>In front of the open door of Lindsay's and Beth's dressing room...<p>

"We challenge you!" Tyler said to them.

"We accept!" quickly replied Lindsay.

"So fast? Wow. And how about a three-way afterwards?"

"With me?" gasped Beth in anticipation.

"No, with that Demi Lovato standee!" Tyler said, pointing at it in the corner of the room. "It sucks she had to leave 'Wizards of Waverly Place!'"

"We're **SO** getting lynched by Disney fangirls after this."

* * *

><p>"This is a four-on-four battle, best-of-three!" Beth declared.<p>

The game was set up as described. Trent, Cody, Duncan, and Gwen made up one team, while Lindsay and Beth had with them...

"I didn't agree to this!" screamed Tyler, as he was sitting in a chair with chains around him. "And how does **SHE** get drums?"

He was referring to the Demi standee, which had the drumsticks taped to her hands.

"If we win," stipulated Trent, "we take the gems around your necks."

"Fine!" Lindsay agreed. "But if we win, you have to agree to be our monkey butlers for a week!"

"What does that have to do with everything?" queried Cody.

"Just agree," grumbled Gwen. "The club owner's kicking us all out afterwards, win or lose."

"One more thing!" Lindsay said. "I'm no longer going by the name Lindsay! From whenever I finish this... talking to you... I shall be called Lind$ay! You know, with that thing that means money!"

"Just start before I decide punching girls is **NOT** stooping too low!" angrily shouted Duncan, with his fists clenched.

"Very well!" exclaimed Beth. "As the 'away' team, you get the first pick!"

Cody was seen scrolling through the playlist. He stopped when he got to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'."

[Cody lost 1 point!  
>Scoreboard: Trent 3, Cody 4, Duncan 1]<p>

"Really, Gwen?" Cody looked at her. "You have **NO** taste!"

[Cody lost 1 point!  
>Scoreboard: Trent 3, Cody 3, Duncan 1]<p>

"Okay, okay! I'll pick something else!"

Cody selected a different song, and took the mic. Duncan took drums, Gwen was on bass, and Trent was lead guitar.

"Couldn't I just play a real guitar?" questioned Trent.

"Starting!" Cody shouted, ignoring him.

After the intro, Cody launched into the song, turning towards Gwen and keeping his eyes on her the whole time, as if singing to her.

_So 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me  
>Because you look so fine, and I really wanna make you mine!<em>

Gwen was unimpressed, but Cody continued anyway, even as Trent was getting lost on what button to press, and Duncan was just randomly banging the drums whenever he felt like it.

_I say you look so fine that I really wanna make you mine!_

_Oh, 4, 5, 6, c'mon and get your kicks!_  
><em>Now you don't need that money when you look like that, do ya honey?<em>

Cody stared at Gwen, in turn blocking her view of the screen. Not that she was doing any sort of decent job playing bass.

_Big black boots,_  
><em>long brown hair,<em>

"**BROWN?**" screeched Gwen, halting her playing and walking over to get in Cody's face. "**BROWN?**"

"I meant teal!" Cody said in his defense. "Teal, **TEAL!**"

Suddenly, the song stopped, as all of their group's horrible playing, or lack of, was enough to result in an automatic fail.

"Nice try," smirked Beth. "Now it's our turn. Hit it, Lind$ay!"

Her team's song started up almost immediately.

_Wake up in the morning, feeling like P. Diddy!_  
><em>Put my glasses on, I'm out the door - I'm gonna hit this city!<em>  
><em>Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack!<em>  
><em>'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back!<em>

Gwen and her band looked confused, as Cody seemed to be flipping through a print-out of the songs in the game.

_I'm talking - pedicure on our toes, toes!_  
><em>Trying on all our clothes, clothes!<em>  
><em>Boys blowing up our phones, phones!<em>  
><em>Drop-toping, playing our favorite CDs,<em>  
><em>Pulling up to the parties,<em>  
><em>Trying to get a little bit tipsy!<em>

_Don't stop, make it pop!_  
><em>DJ, blow my speakers up!<em>  
><em>Tonight, I'mma fight Til we see the sunlight!<em>  
><em>Tik tok, on the clock,<em>  
><em>But the party don't stop, no!<em>  
><em>Woah-oh oh oh!<em>  
><em>Woah-oh oh oh!<em>

"**YEAH!**" clapped Lind$ay. "We win round one!"

"But this doesn't make any sense!" Cody exclaimed, still flipping through the list.

"Let me handle this," Trent said, as he searched through the playlist.

Trent traded his guitar to Cody for the mic, and a few seconds later, the song began.

_It's all the same, only the names will change!_  
><em>Everyday it seems we're wasting away.<em>  
><em>Another place where the faces are so cold<br>I'd drive all night just to get back home._

_I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride._  
><em>I'm wanted... dead or alive!<em>  
><em>Wanted... dead or alive!<em>

Trent was actually singing pretty good, and his bandmates were managing to keep the beat.

_Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days!_  
><em>And the people I meet always go their separate ways!<em>  
><em>Sometimes you tell the day By the bottle that you drink<em>  
><em>And times when you're alone all you do is think.<em>

_I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride._  
><em>I'm wanted... dead or alive!<em>  
><em>Wanted... dead or alive!<em>

"Yeah, guys!" cheered Tyler.

Lind$ay and Beth turned towards him: the former looking as if she was about to cry, the latter as if she was going to ring his neck. Tyler quickly changed his opinion.

"Um... boo! You guys suck!"

"Alright!" Lind$ay declared. "Now, let me lay somethin' fresh on ya!"

"Lind$ay," Gwen pointed out, "you're not black."

Lind$ay immediately went into her second song.

_Hot and dangerous!_  
><em>If you're one of us then roll with us<em>  
><em>'Cause we make the hipsters fall in love<em>  
><em>When we got our hot pants on and up!<em>

"How is she doing this?" Cody wondered as he again flipped through the print-out playlist.

_Tonight we're going har-har-h-h-h hard!_  
><em>Just like the world is our-our-ah-ah-ah ours!<em>  
><em>We're tearing it apar-par-par-pa-pa-part<em>  
><em>You know we're superstars<em>  
><em>We R who we R!<em>

"I hate your song!" Duncan shouted at them.

"Now we're even," Beth agreed. "One song, winner take all!"

_Because your love, your love, your love is my drug!_  
><em>Your love, your love, your love!<em>  
><em>I said your love, your love, your love is my drug!<em>  
><em>Your love, your love, your love!<em>

"Lind$ay..." Beth told her friend, "I haven't started the song yet."

"Oops!"

"False start!" Gwen declared. "Instant forfeit, we win!"

"Damn!" cursed Beth. "I was hoping they didn't know that rule!"

* * *

><p>Outside the club, the pearl and the peridot were now in Gwen's hands, and Lindsay and Beth were acting like their normal selves. And just in time, for the sun had come up.<p>

"Thanks for helping us!" Lindsay exclaimed. "I'll never look at glitter the same way ever again!"

"Now that you're free of the gem's spell," Tyler said aloud, "why don't you join our party?"

"You can't invite her!" claimed Cody. "We didn't even invi-"

"**I'D LOVE TO!**" shouted Lindsay.

"It must be hate on Cody day."

Cody pulled out the Save Orb, ready to move on to the next chapter.

"Wait!" Beth exclaimed. "Can I come along?"

"Sorry," Gwen said. "We're capping our party at six. Besides, it's a No Beths Club."

"But there isn't a..."

"Is that you, Beth?" asked Lindsay, as she looked at Tyler.

"I am Beth!" he answered, playing along.

"But if he's..." Beth argued.

"We're allowed to have **ONE**!" Gwen told her.

"Awwww..."

'Save complete.'

The gang headed out of town, leaving Beth behind.

"So glad that's over," Duncan said in relief. "No more singing for the rest of the fic!"

Lindsay had pulled out her iPod when nobody was looking, and was bopping her head to the song playing through her headphones. But that was not annoying enough, so she started singing...

_It's Friday, Friday!_

"**IT'S TUESDAY!**"

***** To be continued... *****  
><em>[just another manic monday, i wish it was sunday<br>confused what day of the week it is yet?]_

_Preview for Next Week's Chapter - Go to bit(dot)ly/lcnAIV  
><em>


	4. Wouldn't That Be Cheating?

Katie appeared in front of Gwen and started screaming in her ear.

"**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**"

Gwen quickly generated a fireball in her right hand, used her left hand to grab Katie by the collar and tug her towards her, stopping just inches in front of said fireball.

"**YOU WANNA DIE TODAY, DON'T YOU?**"

(*Izzy*  
>A-ha! Must be that time of the month!)<p>

Gwen dropped Katie, then threw her fireball at the screen.

(*Izzy*  
>Projectiles thrown in PMS rage don't work on Izzy!)<p>

"**WANNA BET?**"

Gwen threw one twice as large. But...

(*Narrator*  
><strong>AHHHHHH!<strong> What the heck?  
>I just walked in the booth, like, two seconds ago!<br>And now, the freakin' roof is on fire!)

(*Izzy*  
>The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!)<p>

(*Narrator*  
><strong>GET OUT OF MY BOOTH OR YOU'RE FIRED!<strong>)

"Why are you here, Katie?" asked Trent, nicely.

"Have you seen Sadie?"

"Um... no. No, I haven't."

Katie then walked over to Cody.

"Have you seen Sadie?"

"Nope."

Then Duncan...

"Have you seen Sadie?"

Then Gwen...

"Have you seen Sadie?"

And finally, Lindsay.

"Have you seen Sadie?"

"**NO!**" all three of them shouted.

"Oh. Okay, then. Will you guys help me find her? Really? You will? Thanks! Let's go!"

Katie led the way down the path, as the rest of the group followed. Gwen was then seen whispering to Lindsay...

"First chance we get, we're ditchin' her."

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP  
>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

**FAAAAAAAAAN SERVICE!**

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Seventeen - Wouldn't That Be Cheating? (06.28.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

Katie guided them to a tropical resort area, complete with a sandy beach.

"This feels as if we've done this before," observed Cody.

At that second, they walked past a wooden signpost that said that they were at Calamari Beach. Gwen reached into her knapsack and pulled out a black aerosol can. The label had a purple octopus on, which had a no sign layered on top of that. She took the cap off, then proceeded to spray her entire body with the substance.

"What you doin' that for?" asked Lindsay.

"You'll see in about nine pages," Gwen replied.

"Sadie **MUST** be around here somewhere!" Katie declared, hoping she was right.

The gang looked around, but all they could spot on the beach were guys, guys, and more guys. And they were all dressed in white togas.

"This is officially the worst beach ever," noted Duncan.

"Don't get disappointed yet!" Trent shouted, pointing off into the distance at someone running their way. "There's a girl right there!"

They followed Trent's finger, and they saw that the girl coming towards them was...

"**AAAAAHHHHHH!**" Cody screamed in terror. "**IT'S SIERRA!**"

Cody ducked down and hid behind Trent, getting out of sight before Sierra could see him.

"You're here!" Sierra exclaimed. "You're here!"

"We sure are," chuckled Gwen nervously, as she was not too keen on Sierra being there either.

"Wait," Lindsay spoke up. "Where's here, and what are we doing here?"

"Have you seen this girl?" Katie asked Sierra, holding up a photo of her and Sadie hugging each other.

"Can't say that I have," answered Sierra. "I'd notice someone that thin."

"What's going on?" Trent asked, referring to all of the guys around.

Sierra gasped, in disbelief that none of them knew the event going on around them was.

"This is the site of the greatest beach volleyball tournament in the history of beach volleyball tournaments of all the beach volleyball tournaments that have ever been held in the universe! Only the best players to ever play the sport are here. And now, that includes **YOU**!"

"Pfft," spat Duncan. "Beach volleyball's for chumps."

"Glad you think so," Sierra said as she tossed a full duffel bag at him, "because **YOU** guys are the last of the 32 teams to arrive!"

"I'm probably going to regretting asking," prefaced Gwen, "but what's the name of your so-called tournament?"

"It's called... **DEAD OR ALIVE XTREMELY XTREME BEACH VOLLEYBALL 3!**"

Gwen smacked herself in the face. She had regretted it.

"Ooh, ooh!" squealed Lindsay. "That requires us girls to squeeze into itty, bitty, tiny polkadot bikinis that just barely keep our naughty bits from peeking out, right?"

Sierra glared at her. "**NO!** And thank God... nobody wants to see your yahoos!"

"But... I like my yahoos!"

"As do I!" remarked Tyler.

"This is a men's tournament **ONLY**!" Sierra told them. "Women can only watch. And any girl who takes off even the tiniest piece of clothing **IS BANNED FROM THE BEACH FOR LIFE!**"

"For life?" gasped Katie. "That's, like... 20 years from now!"

"I know, right!" added Lindsay.

Gwen pulled out a script and started flipping through it.

"Please tell me a girl with a brain's debuting this chapter?" she asked rhetorically.

"Now it's time for you to all get dressed," Sierra told the boys. "Before the tournament begins, all team members are required to get photographed for the ultimate post-tournament souvenir scrapbook!"

"**DAMN IT!**"

"Whatever," Duncan said as he rolled his eyes. "Just point us to the changing rooms."

Sierra did not understand his request, though.

"But... but Duncan. There **ARE** no changing rooms on this beach."

"**SOMEBODY GET THE DIRECTOR ON THE PHONE!**" Gwen yelled.

Sierra turned and yelled back at her.

"**PUT A SOCK IN IT, NEW COURTNEY!**"

"But..." Cody objected, coming out of hiding, "there's girls around. Not... to mention... you?"

"Oh, we won't look!" Sierra assured him. "Promise!"

She then put on a red-and-blue baseball cap that had an obvious lens sticking out of the front of it. She turned around, but her cap was on backwards, so the lens was facing the guys.

"Uh... what are you recording?"

"Gimme half an hour and $14.95... and you'll find out!"

* * *

><p>A little later, Sierra had pulled the boys over to the area where the team photos were been taking, and she unleashed the full force of 12 megapixels of processing power on them and their outfits. One at a time, they were forced to pose playfully and provocatively, whether it was standing up, sitting down, rolling in the sand, or whatever.<p>

Cody, surprisingly, had the most modest swimsuit on, wearing trunks that went all the way down to his knees. Next was Trent, whose resembled boxer shorts, then Duncan, who had on a Speedo, and lastly, Tyler, who had been forced to wear a thong that kept... pretty much nothing covered.

"Are you **SURE** this isn't illegal?" Tyler asked, as he was hunched over and had his hands over his clearly visibly 'junk.'

"As long as you keep your hands where they are, it isn't!" replied Sierra with a smile. "But seriously... keep it there, or we won't be able to shop broadcasting rights to Australia!"

"I'm not sure if anyone will want to broadcast this!"

"$14.95!" she reminded him, as she pointed to her front-facing cap.

* * *

><p>An hour afterwards, the entire group was attending the opening ceremonies. A stage had been set up with a big screen behind it, and guys in coconut bras and grass skirts were dancing before the competitors. Trent, Cody, Duncan, and Tyler were all dressed in one-strap white togas, like all of the other competing teams.<p>

"I don't see a single girl dressed in a bedsheet!" grumbled Duncan. "Someone tell me why I should care!"

"Good luck, guys!"

Gwen was waving at them from the railing in the bleachers. Behind her were Lindsay and Katie, who were sitting in the front row.

"Isn't that nice?" commented Trent. "Gwen's wishing me good luck!"

"I'm pretty sure she's wishing **ME** good luck!" Duncan shouted.

"She clearly wished me good luck!" Cody argued.

"Sierra!" exclaimed Tyler.

"Oh... I don't want any of her good luck."

"No, Cody! There! She's on stage!"

Sure enough, Sierra had grabbed the microphone just as the performing act danced out of the way, to the applause of everyone.

"Thank you for that forgettable performance, Useless Extras! Now, it's time to present the host of the tournament..."

Up in the stands, Gwen started counting down...

"Two... one..."

"**IZZY!**"

Sierra clapped and stepped aside as Izzy ran up, the first girl to appear in a toga... though hers was a lime green instead of white.

"Told ya," Gwen smirked as Lindsay and Katie started paying her in coins, having lost the bet.

"Before we begin the tournament," Izzy declared, "I invite you all to sing the official theme song! And by invite, I mean, **SING OR I'LL FEED YOU TO THE GATORS!**"

All of a sudden, gigantic soda dispensers filled with different flavors in them, as well as a number of hoses, appeared all around the competitors. Meanwhile, the big screen came to life, and a soda commercial straight out of the 1980s began playing...

_Come along, you belong  
>Feel the fizz of Koo-Koo Cola!<em>  
><em>It's the soda for making you proud<br>Take another sip and you're one of the crowd!_  
><em>You belong to Koo-Koo Cola!<em>

Everyone was bopping their heads to the beat and starting to dance. Everyone except for our heroes, who seemed perplexed by the goings-on.

_Come along, you belong  
>Feel the fizz of Koo-Koo Cola!<em>  
><em>Get to the store and take all you can carry<br>We got the flavors: orange, grape, and cherry!_  
><em>You belong to Koo-Koo Cola!<em>

People started to line up under the soda dispensers to completely douse their togas and their skin; others let the many roaming hoses do the job for those too far away from the dispensers. One of those with the hoses tried to spray the guys, but they all dodged it... except for Tyler, whose hair, skin, and toga instantly turned grape-colored.

_Come along, you belong  
>Feel the fizz of Koo-Koo Cola!<em>  
><em>It's bottled in Pensacola!<em>  
><em>Come along! (Koo-Koo Cola!)<em>  
><em>You belong! (Koo-Koo Cola!)<em>

The song stopped, and everyone on the beach cheered ecstatically. Everyone except our heroes...

"What... just... happened?" Trent asked confusedly.

"**LET THE TOURNAMENT BEGIN!**" declared Izzy proudly.

More cheering. Up in the stands, Lindsay was bent over the railing, trying to hop over it as Gwen and Katie held her back.

"Somebody douse me with soda!" she shouted. "I want it! I want it!"

"Stop it!" Gwen grumbled. "You're making a scene!"

"Ugh," groaned Tyler as he examined his grape skin. "Is this permanent, man? Maybe I should wash it off."

"Don't be a wuss!" scowled Duncan. "It's just cheap soda!"

"Besides..." Trent began.

He directed their attention back to the TV screen, which was showing the brackets for the tournament.

"...we're in the very first match."

The quartet made their way to the court, where they found themselves staring at what looked to be imperfect clones of them. They looked like the guys, but with a couple differences. The ones that were ringers for Trent and Duncan were short and fat. Those that resembled Cody and Tyler were tall and skinny. And all four of them had handlebar mustaches and had upside down letters on them.

"Who are these clowns?" questioned Duncan, unimpressed.

"We're the Wa-Men!" the Trent copy proclaimed, as he led off formal introductions. "I'm Warent!"

"I'm Wady!"

"I'm Wauncan!"

"And I'm Tayler! My name's longer than yours, so I'm **EVILER**!"

"You're going down!" Warent declared.

Trent and Cody looked each other and nodded, then turned to their teammates.

"You guys sit out," Trent told them. "Cody and I have the first match."

Duncan shrugged his shoulders in indifference; Tyler breathed a sigh of relief. Trent and Cody saw their imperfect duplicates step forward for their team, as Izzy took her spot in the referee's chair, overlooking the net.

"Okay! One-set match, first team to five and be up by at least two wins!"

Izzy threw the ball at Warent, indicating that he had first serve.

"I'mma gonna win!" Warent said, in a threatening voice.

Once he was behind the service line, Izzy blew the whistle, signaling the start of the game.

"One serving zero!" he shouted.

He threw the ball up in the air, and smacked it over the net.

"**HEY!**" Cody yelled. "That's not the score!"

**WHACK!**

The ball hit Cody square in the face and he was sent flying backwards. He landed on the sand, the ball coming down with him.

"Point!" Izzy shouted.

"Cody!" Trent said, checking on his partner. "Are you okay?"

In the bleachers, Gwen and Lindsay had seen what had happened and had winced when they saw the ball hit Cody.

"That can't be good for his self-esteem," admitted Gwen.

"I'll say," Lindsay agreed. "It's like, negative 100, right?"

Cody got to his feet, angry, and with ball marks on his face. As he glanced over to the other side, he saw Warent and Wady celebrating like they had already won the match. In fact, Warent was taunting him by sticking his butt out at them and smacking it with his own hand.

"Guys!" Cody shouted towards the bench. "Throw me the Roulette Block from my knapsack!"

Tyler went to do so, as obviously Duncan was going to ignore his request.

"Hold on!" Trent objected. "Wouldn't that be cheating?"

"It's not cheating if there's no rule against cheating!" Izzy shouted from her chair.

"There's no way we can win if I don't use the Roulette Block!" Cody told him.

"But, Cody! It's cheating!"

"It's not cheating if there's no rule against cheating!" Izzy shouted once again.

"Dude, will you just **LOOK AT THEM**?"

Cody turned Trent's head towards the other side of the net. Their opponents had pulled out a large, cartoonish mallet and giant steel gloves, respectively... and were brandishing them fiendishly.

"I don't care!" Trent stood firm. "**IT'S CHEATING!**"

"**IT'S NOT CHEATING...**" Izzy started yelling before stopping and slumping down in her seat. "If you wanna lose that badly..."

Trent sighed in defeat.

"Fine. But I don't have anything I can use!"

Tyler tossed Cody his Roulette Block, and then pulled out a pair of sneakers, which he brought over to Trent.

"I can't wear footwear in beach volleyball!" Trent argued as Tyler handed him the sneakers.

"You gonna keep whining like a bitch or are we gonna play some volleyball?" an annoyed Izzy asked him.

Trent rolled his eyes as he sat down to put the sneakers on. Cody, meanwhile, had activated his Roulette Block. He hit it, and out of it came an ice flower. He grabbed it, and a light blue 'C' cap appeared on his head.

"Alright!" Cody said aloud. "No more Mr. 'Ice' Guy!"

"**LAAAAAAAME!**" shouted Duncan from the bench.

Izzy blew her whistle to resume play, and Warent prepared to serve another ace... this time intending to hit the ball with his mallet. He served, and the ball went flying over the net and towards the far back corner of the court.

"Gotta get it..." Trent told himself.

He closed his eyes, and the next thing he knew, he was standing right where the ball was coming down, in perfect position to do a bump.

"What the..."

Which he performed haphazardly, but well enough to float the ball up and towards Cody, who put his hands together to set the ball.

"Set!"

Trent closed his eyes, and once again, instantly was in the right spot to jump up and spike the ball perfectly.

"**WAAAA!**" shouted Wady, who had both hands up as he leaped up to try and block.

"Made you look!" Cody suddenly shouted.

Cody then fired an iceball at Wady, freezing him in mid-air. Trent adjusted his position, then spiked the ball. Warent dived in an attempt to keep it in play... but he came up just short.

"Ooh!" cooed Izzy. "Point for Team Hotty McHotsters!"

Cody turned to Trent to give him a two-handed high-five, but he had disappeared... and then reappeared a second later.

"These shows are incredible!" Trent shouted. "It's like I can defy the laws of time!"

"Foul!" Duncan grumbled, coming onto the court from the bench.

"Foul?" Cody questioned. "Why?"

Duncan pointed towards the bleachers. Apparently, Trent had run off, found a flower shop, bought a daisy, gave it to Gwen, and then got back to the court. Gwen was just smelling the beautiful flower at that second.

"I love it!" she shouted.

[Trent earned 2 points!  
>Scoreboard: Trent 5, Cody 3, Duncan 1]<p>

"Foul!" Cody shouted, siding with Duncan.

Suddenly, their opponents clutched their stomachs in pain.

"Warent don't feel so good," Warent stated bluntly.

"It's Wady time!" Wady declared, before adding, "after ack-"

Warent and Wady suddenly dropped like a fly. But they were not the only ones, as every single person that had been doused with Koo-Koo Cola collapsed right on the spot. Including Tyler.

"Heh heh," snickered Duncan as he took Tyler's wallet out of the folds of his toga, "looks like I win the 'bet which main character croaks first' wager!"

"**WHERE'S KATIE?**" yelled Lindsay from the stands, recognizing that she had disappeared at some point. "Oh... and why's everyone going to sleep?"

"Oh boy," Izzy mumbled. "When the bottles say 'Use by December 1989,' they weren't just whistling Dixie!"

"Hold on," Cody deduced. "We're the only team who still has people that can compete right? That means we win the tournament!"

"And I did absolutely nothing!" Duncan said with a smile. "The system works!"

Suddenly, out of the blue, an angry octopus with Izzy's head came running onto the beach from the ocean. Everyone in the stands started panicking as they tried to run to safety. Lindsay, not knowing any better, tried to squeeze herself under the bleachers.

"Has it been nine pages already?" Gwen asked aloud.

"**ROAR!**" shouted Izzy the octopus.

"Well, at least this one's only got eight arms."

Unfortunately, Izzy-pus saw Gwen, and she immediately thrust all eight tentacles for her. But when they got within five feet of her, they all screeched to a halt. One of them smelled the air, and picked up a whiff of Gwen's anti-octopus spray. All the tentacles retreated, unable to stand the smell.

"Best one week's paycheck I ever spent," Gwen said with a smile.

She pulled out the can and tossed it up in the air... only for Lindsay to snatch it and spray it all over her body, while she was still crouched in her hiding place.

Meanwhile, unable to grab Gwen and have some perverted fun, Izzy-pus settled for the next best thing. She grabbed Trent, Cody, Duncan, and Tyler, and attempted to squeeze the life out of them. Upon seeing this, Sierra ran towards the Izzy-pus, with a hose in hand.

"Let them go!" she shouted. "I want one of them to have my babies! Possibly two, if I'm feelin' adventurous!"

Sierra pulled the nozzle to turn the hose on... but nothing came out of it. Izzy-pus rewarded her for the failed attempt by grabbing her with her fifth tentacle.

"**AAAAAHHHH!**" Izzy shouted, trying to run away.

But Izzy-pus would not let her escape, as she grabbed her with arm number six. She then grabbed Cody's knapsack with the seventh, and with her last... ensnared the entire cast of "Jersey Shore" and tossed them into her mouth whole, swallowing them whole.

"I don't care if they give me heartburn," Izzy-pus shouted, "it **HAD** to be done!"

"Oh ho ho!" the human Izzy clapped in jubilation. "Someone other than me who hates Jerseys!"

"I know, right? All Jerseys should be eaten by octopi!"

"Delizioso!" shouted Italian-speaking Izzy-voiced knapsack.

"You said it, sister!"

Everyone in Izzy-pus' grip screamed in terror, fearing that they would be the next one eaten. Gwen and Lindsay, who had come out from under the bleachers, stood there in horror as they wondered what they could do.

"We have to do something!" Gwen shouted.

She then grabbed Lindsay and started shaking her.

"What can we do? What can we do?"

Gwen then stopped so Lindsay could give her a response.

"Oh, Greta..."

"It's Gwen..."

"I don't know, I don't know!" Lindsay said worriedly. "It's not an easy decision! If only I had six or seven days to think about it!"

***** To be continued... *****  
><em>[making wishes come true<br>even unintentional ones from dumb, hot blondes]_

_Preview for Next Week's Chapter - Go to bit(dot)ly/lmv57U_


	5. I Should Be Complaining More

Sadie appeared in front of Gwen and started screaming in her ear.

"**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**"

Gwen quickly generated a fireball in her right hand, used her left hand to grab Sadie by the collar and tug her towards her, stopping just inches in front of said fireball.

"**YOU WANNA DIE TODAY, DON'T YOU?**"

(*Izzy*  
>A-ha! Must be that time of the month!)<p>

Gwen dropped Sadie, then threw her fireball at the screen.

(*Narrator*  
><strong>AHHHHHH!<strong> What the heck?)

"Why are you here, Sadie?" asked Trent, nicely.

"Have you seen Katie?"

"Um... no. No, I haven't."

Sadie then walked over to Cody.

"Have you seen Katie?"

"Nope."

Then Duncan... then Gwen... then Lindsay... then...

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP  
>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

**MORE FAAAAAAAAAN SERVICE!**

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Eighteen - I Should Be Complaining More (07.05.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

Sadie guided them to a tropical resort area, complete with a sandy beach.

"This feels as if we've done this before," observed Cody. "No, seriously... it really does!"

At that second, they walked past a wooden signpost that said that they were at Calamari Beach. Gwen reached into her knapsack and pulled out a black aerosol can. The label had a purple octopus on, which had a no sign layered on top of that. She took the cap off, then proceeded to spray her entire body with the substance.

"What you doin' that for?" asked Lindsay.

Cody gasped. "Lindsay asked Gwen that last time! And she replied..."

"I **SO** wanna fork a boy right now!" Gwen exclaimed.

"**YES!** Wait, **NO!** That's not what she said! She said..."

The gang looked around, but all they could spot on the beach were guys, guys, and more guys. And they were all dressed in white togas.

"This is officially the worst beach ever," noted Duncan.

"Don't get disappointed yet!" Trent shouted, pointing off into the distance at someone running their way. "There's a girl right there!"

They followed Trent's finger, and they saw that the girl coming towards them was...

"**AAAAAHHHHHH!**" Cody screamed in terror. "**IT'S SIERRA!**"

"You're here!" Sierra exclaimed. "You're here!"

"Have you seen this girl?" Sadie asked Sierra, holding up a photo of her and Katie hugging each other.

"Can't say that I have," answered Sierra. "I'd notice someone that **OH MY GOD, IS THAT GIRL FAT!**"

Sadie started to cry. "It's not my fault I have a glandular problem!"

"Not you! Your friend!"

"What's going on?" Trent asked, referring to all of the guys around.

"This is the site of the greatest..."

"She's explaining..." Cody thought, "this **HAS** happened before! I mean, a few things have changed... but otherwise the same general events are occurring! But why?"

"What's the name of your so-called tournament?" Gwen asked.

"It's called..."

"**DEAD OR ALIVE XTREMELY XTREME BEACH VOLLEYBALL 3!**" finished Cody.

Gwen looked oddly at Cody. "How did you know that?"

"Uh..." he lied, "lucky guess?"

"Ooh, ooh!" squealed Lindsay. "That requires us girls to squeeze into itty, bitty, tiny polkadot bikinis that just barely keep our naughty bits from peeking out, right?"

Sierra glared at her. "**NO!** And thank God... nobody wants to see your Twinkies!"

"But... I like my Ho Hos!"

"I like Ding Dongs!" remarked Tyler.

"Wait," Cody continued to contemplate, "if we're reliving the same day again, that means something bad happened that wasn't supposed to happen! And thus we'll keep repeating this day until that bad thing doesn't happen! I've got to find out what's keeping us in this infinite loop!"

"**SNO BALLS ARE MY FAVE!**" Gwen yelled.

Sierra turned and yelled back at her.

"**PUT A SOCK IN IT, NEW COURTNEY!**"

"But first," Cody realized, "I need me some Suzy Q's."

(Product placement! It pays the bills!)

* * *

><p>An hour afterwards, the entire group was attending the opening ceremonies. A stage had been set up with a big screen behind it, and guys in coconut bras and grass skirts were dancing before the competitors. Trent, Cody, Duncan, and Tyler were all dressed in one-strap white togas, like all of the other competing teams.<p>

"Good luck, guys!"

Gwen was waving at them from the railing in the bleachers. Behind her were Lindsay and Sadie, who were sitting in the front row.

"Isn't that nice?" commented Trent. "Gwen's wishing me good luck!"

"I'm pretty sure she's wishing **ME** good luck!" Duncan shouted.

Cody was silent, focused on figuring on how to get out of here rather than whom Gwen was wishing luck to.

"Sierra!" exclaimed Tyler. "There! She's on stage!"

Sure enough, Sierra had grabbed the microphone just as the performing act danced out of the way, to the applause of everyone.

"Thank you for that forgettable performance, Useless Extras! Now, it's time to present the host of the tournament... **IZZY!**"

Sierra clapped and stepped aside as Izzy ran up, the first girl to appear in a toga... though hers was a lime green instead of white.

"Before we begin the tournament..."

"Hold on," Cody said aloud, "everything started going wrong when all those people who got sprayed with that crazy soda collapsed! Which means..."

All of a sudden, gigantic soda dispensers filled with different flavors in them, as well as a number of hoses, appeared all around the competitors. Meanwhile, the big screen came to life, and a soda commercial straight out of the 1980s began playing...

_Come along, you belong  
>Feel the fizz of Koo-Koo Cola!<em>  
><em>It's the soda for making you proud<br>Take another sip and you're one of the crowd!_  
><em>You belong to Koo-Koo Cola!<em>

Everyone was bopping their heads to the beat and starting to dance. Everyone except for our heroes, who seemed perplexed by the goings-on.

_Come along, you belong  
>Feel the fizz of Koo-Koo Cola!<em>  
><em>Get to the store and take all you can carry<br>We got the flavors: orange, grape, and cherry!_  
><em>You belong to Koo-Koo Cola!<em>

People started to line up under the soda dispensers to completely douse their togas and their skin; others let the many roaming hoses do the job for those too far away from the dispensers. One of those with the hoses tried to spray the guys...

"**TYLER!**" Cody shouted.

Cody dived for the jock and pushed him out of the way. As a result, the sprayer ended up missing all four of them.

_Come along, you belong  
>Feel the fizz of Koo-Koo Cola!<em>  
><em>It's bottled in Pensacola!<em>  
><em>Come along! (Koo-Koo Cola!)<em>  
><em>You belong! (Koo-Koo Cola!)<em>

The song stopped, and everyone on the beach cheered ecstatically. Everyone except our heroes...

"What was that for?" Tyler asked, pushing Cody off of him.

"I just saved your life!" Cody exclaimed, before adding. "I... think?"

"Happy birthday!" screamed Lindsay jubilantly.

Cody gasped, surprised that Lindsay was with them and not in the stands with Gwen... and that she had a 32-ounce cup full of orange flavored Koo-Koo Cola in hand. That was until she dumped all of it on Tyler's head in celebration. His hair, skin, and toga instantly all turned orange.

"Ugh," groaned Tyler as he examined his orange skin. "Is this permanent, man? Maybe I should wash it off."

Tyler walked off. Cody turned to Duncan.

"Hey... aren't you gonna stop him?"

"Why?" Duncan shrugged.

"That's odd," Cody thought. "That didn't happen before, particularly because..."

"...we're in the very first match," Trent cut in, directing Cody's attention to the board.

The quartet made their way to the court, where they found themselves staring at what looked to be imperfect clones of them.

"So many things have changed... but is it enough to prevent the bad ending? What if the trigger event hasn't happened yet? The only way is to keep changing things as much as possible..."

"Duncan, you sit out," Trent told him. "Cody and I have the first match."

"**WAIT!**" Cody yelled. "Change of plans... how about you and Duncan take the first match?"

"And why should I play a part in this game?" Duncan asked, not interested in participating.

"I know I suck at sports. You know I suck at sports. So why put myself at risk for certain embarrassment when we both know you being in the game increases **THEIR** risk of getting embarrassed?"

"Hmmm... I like the way you think, small fry! But you owe me one!"

Duncan joined Trent on the court, leaving Cody to take a seat on the bench, determined to figure out this puzzle. Then, all of a sudden, he decided to look to the stands, where Gwen and Lindsay began to cheer the team on.

"**HOLD THE PHONE! WHERE'S SADIE?**"

* * *

><p>Sadie had walked off to get a drink. But there was only one stand on the whole beach, and the line for it stretched as far as the eye can see. To make matters worse, she had been hosed on the way to the line, and her whole body was covered in grape-flavored soda.<p>

"I should be complaining more," she said, before licking her arm with her tongue, "but this soda actually tastes pretty good!"

"I know, right?"

Sadie saw that she had gotten in line behind Katie, whose skin was red because several people had dumped cherry-flavored soda on her.

"I usually don't drink soda 'cause it goes straight to my butt," Katie explained, "but I can't help but lick myself!"

"Me too!" squealed Sadie.

"Though I can't help but notice that soda on you looks a lot tastier than it does on me!"

"Me too!"

"**O-M-G!** I feel like tonguing you all over until the cows come home!"

"**ME TOO!**"

"**EEEEEEEEEEE!**" they both screamed in unison.

The duo danced around for about a minute before stopping. Suddenly, they both took out a photo of them together - the same photo, mind you - and showed it to each other, pointing to the other as they asked...

"Have you seen her?"

Suddenly, Tyler, with his orange-colored skin, hopped in line behind them.

"Say... is **THIS** the line for the bathroom?"

* * *

><p>Cody had his eyes focused on Gwen in the bleachers rather than the action happening near him on the beach volleyball court. Not because he liked staring at her - because he did - but he was trying to think what other things he could have her do differently than last time to get them out of this predicament.<p>

"I got it!"

He grabbed his knapsack and ran for the bleachers during a break in play. Trent and Duncan did not seem to notice Cody making a move for Gwen... and she was just as surprised to see him come to her.

"Shouldn't you be down there if the guys need you?" she asked.

"Never mind that!" replied Cody.

He dropped his knapsack in Gwen's lap.

"I want you to hold on to my knapsack until I tell you to! And don't absolutely, positively, open it **UNTIL** I tell you!"

Gwen chuckled. "Why? You've got X-ray glasses in there again?"

"**I'M NOT KIDDING!** Gwen, please! Our future depends on it!"

Gwen could not believe the tone Cody was addressing her with. It was so unfamiliar to her. She knew this had to be serious.

"I promise."

"Thanks!"

Cody then ran off, leaving Gwen to watch his knapsack... and watch it, and watch it...

"You gonna open it?" queried Lindsay. "You know you wanna!"

"It's tempting... but a promise is a promise!"

* * *

><p>"When did <strong>THIS<strong> happen?"

Tyler had procured a laptop somehow, and he, Katie, and Sadie were watching a video of a concert in which Katie was dressed as Nicki Minaj, Sadie as Britney Spears, and Lindsay as Ke$ha.

"It's the **POWER OF THE INTERNET**!" Sadie proclaimed.

"We were totally in three different places, and in the video, we weren't!" Katie explained. "**POWER OF THE INTERNET!**"

"Weren't you three supposed to perform that live in this chapter?"

The girls shook their heads.

"The network thought it was too ranchy," answered Katie.

"I think Lindsay ripped her shorts off at one point," Sadie tried to recall.

"**PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!**" yelled Tyler.

* * *

><p>"I mean," Lindsay told Gwen, "I get photographed a lot, but, <strong>MAN,<strong> after that show, I'm now the most endorsed gal in the series! **TAKE THAT, COURTNEY!**"

"Pretty sure Courtney considers a lack of offers from Penthouse and Spike TV to be a good thing," commented Gwen, before adding. "Though I wouldn't count out anything from that attention whore..."

"Gwen!"

"What? I can't say the word whore?"

"You can. Just not about Courtney."

Gwen snickered. "What's she gonna do? Sue me?"

Lindsay pulled out a letter from Courtney's current lawyer. Gwen took it and read it silently.

"She... really... needs a boyfriend. To lay her. Yesterday."

"Wouldn't that be hard since he's laying you?"

"**PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!**"

Suddenly, out of the blue, an angry octopus with Izzy's head came running onto the beach from the ocean. Everyone in the stands started panicking as they tried to run to safety. Lindsay, not knowing any better, tried to squeeze herself under the bleachers.

"Has it been nine pages already?" Gwen asked aloud.

"**ROAR!**" shouted Izzy the octopus.

"I think she's early..."

Cody saw Izzy-pus send all eight tentacles Gwen's way.

"If she succeeds in assaulting Gwen, then I **KNOW** the story must have definitely changed!" Cody thought aloud.

But as before, the tentacles were turned off by Gwen's anti-octopus spray... and they turned their attention towards the boys.

"Why can't I ever get my deepest desires granted for once?" whined Cody.

She grabbed Trent, Cody, and Duncan, and attempted to squeeze the life out of them. Upon seeing this, Sierra ran towards the Izzy-pus, with a hose in hand.

"Let them go!" she shouted. "I want one of them to have my babies! Possibly two, if I'm feelin' adventurous!"

Sierra pulled the nozzle to turn the hose on... but nothing came out of it. Izzy-pus rewarded her for the failed attempt by grabbing her with her fourth tentacle. She then grabbed the fleeing Izzy with her fifth, and with her sixth, she reached into the ocean and pulled out...

An irate Noah?

"Somepony's in trouble for putting a hidden 'can be eaten alive' clause in my contract!"

Everyone in Izzy-pus' grip screamed in terror, fearing that they would be the next one eaten. Gwen and Lindsay, who had come out from under the bleachers, stood there in horror as they wondered what they could do.

"We have to do something!" Gwen shouted.

She then grabbed Lindsay and started shaking her.

"What can we do? What can we do?"

Gwen then stopped so Lindsay could give her a response.

"I don't know, I don't know!" Lindsay said worriedly. "It's not an easy decision! If only I had six or seven days to think about it!"

Gwen looked quizzically at Lindsay.

"One, when did you become a 'Futurama' fan, and two... **WE DON'T HAVE SIX OR SEVEN DAYS!**"

"Uso mi!" something shouted near the girls.

The girls looked down at the bench they had been sitting on, and Cody's knapsack was begging them to use her... in Italian.

"Uso mi! **USO MI!**"

"Speak American!" Lindsay shouted at it. "It's the only language I understand!"

"That's it!" Gwen's face lit up. "There **MUST** be something in the knapsack we can use to stop the octopus!"

"But Cody clearly..."

"**USE IT,**" Cody yelled in the background.

"...absolut-utively, positive-done-diddly..."

"**USE IT!**"

"...open it until he said so!"

"**USEIT USEIT USEIT USEIT USEIT USEIT USEIT USEIT!**"

"We don't have time to wait for him to tell us!" Gwen exclaimed. "How am I gonna live if all the boys in my life die?"

"You never know until you try!"

"What?"

"**PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!**"

"I'm just gonna open the knapsack..."

Gwen did so, and rummaged through it. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, as there were a ton of supplies inside. Eventually, she came across the Roulette Block. She activated it, and it began to cycle through several options.

"Here goes nothing!"

She hit the block, and a cap popped out of it. A transparent red 'G' cap was lying there in front of her.

"Okay... now what?"

Lindsay appeared behind Gwen and slipped Cody's X-ray glasses onto the goth's face.

"Uh, Lindsay? I don't think this is a good time for a game of 'who's not wearing underwear?' right now."

But Gwen turned towards the battle scene anyways... and then she smiled when she saw something she liked.

"Then again..."

Suddenly, the Izzy-pus started pulling all of her captives towards her mouth.

"I could sure go for a reset button right now!" wished Trent.

"It's funny because that's what happened!" giggled Izzy.

"Ohhh..." gasped Cody, everything making sense at last.

"Well, can't it get pressed again?" questioned Duncan. "Y'know, before we become lunch?"

"You think we're parodying 'Groundhog's Day' here?" Izzy looked at him. "As if!"

"If we're getting eaten," Sierra said with a heavy heart as she reached over and grabbed someone, "then I'm glad I'm going with me hugging you, my love!"

"As if we didn't have enough fanon pairings," grumbled Noah, the one Sierra was wrapped around.

But just as Izzy-pus was about to toss them all in, she stopped. And then, seconds later, she disappeared.

"We're gonna live!" happily declared Cody.

The six of them then fell ten feet to the sandy beach below.

"After a trip to the ER, we're gonna live!" he self-corrected.

The only thing left of Izzy-pus was a metal rectangular cage that had in it one of the Lost Gems of Wawanakwa... and Gwen. And the slime from the insides of the Izzy-pus, which covered most of her body.

"Ha!" she proclaimed. "Guess who's the big hero? Me! That's who!"

She kissed the gem, which was the ruby, and pocketed it.

"Now, to just walk out of here."

She took a couple steps forward... and face smacked right into the bars.

"Ow!" she cried out.

Duncan snickered. "Nice going there, your blindness!"

Gwen reached up and gasped when she discovered that the cap she was wearing had disappeared.

"What? It's gone already! But I just put it on a minute ago!"

"You must've used a Vanish Cap," Cody explained as he walked over to the cage. "It allows the wearer to walk through solid objects."

"Okay. So, just give me another one and I can get out of here."

"It doesn't work that way. The Roulette Block only has one of each item. In addition, the Vanish Cap is out-of-production, and extremely rare! It could be **YEARS** before we might find another, if at all!"

"In that case... **GET ME OUT OF THIS DOORLESS CAGE!**"

* * *

><p>After using some butter, grease, a pair of crowbars, and a magic spell or two, Gwen was freed from her confinement. Unfortunately, she was still very slimy... and it made her uncomfortable.<p>

"Ick!" she groaned. "I feel like something exploded all over me!"

"That's what she said," chided Duncan.

[Duncan lost 1 point!  
>Scoreboard: Trent 3, Cody 3, Duncan 0]<p>

"Ooh," Lindsay chimed in. "This reminds me, of this one time, at band camp..."

"**PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!**" everyone shouted.

"And now that we've killed that meme," Gwen noted, "I need to get out of these sticky clothes!"

"Now **THAT'S** a video game I can get behind!" Duncan exclaimed.

Cody pulled out the Save Orb and activated it.

"Good idea," Trent whispered to him, "saving this moment so that we can never be without a mental image of Gwen covered in slime!"

"I was just trying to make sure we didn't have to come to this beach a **THIRD** time," Cody whispered back, before adding, "though I like your idea, too..."

"I'll help you clean off," offered Sierra.

"Wow," a shocked Gwen took up the offer. "That's... very kind of you."

"But on one condition..."

"Yes, you can join the team... can I shower somewhere now?"

"Okay! Although... that's not what my catch was..."

So Trent, Cody, Duncan, Gwen, Sierra, and Lindsay headed inland, to find a place where Gwen could get cleaned up, where the boys could try to spy on her in the shower, where Sierra would attempt to spy on the guys watching Gwen in the shower, and Lindsay could cash her endorsement checks.

(Ah, another chapter complete!  
>But, wait... aren't we forgetting someone?)<p>

* * *

><p>Several hours later, after sunset, at the front of the line at the soda stand...<p>

"First in line when the stand opens tomorrow!" Katie and Sadie exclaimed as they unfurled their sleeping bags next to the closed stand window.

"After that," Sadie said, "I'll go look for Katie!"

"Uh huh," Katie nodded. "And I'll go look for Sadie!"

And already sleep on the sand next to them, and third in line, was Tyler...

"Orange skin is the thing, babe," he mumbled in his sleep, thinking of how to explain his condition to Lindsay.

***** To be continued... *****  
><em>[sierra for tyler's a fair trade, right?]<em>

_Preview for Next Week's Chapter - Go to bit(dot)ly/qjxaOU  
><em>


	6. Check Out That Gem!

A group of six teenagers were seen walking inside a giant mall. They were amazed by the size of it... well, they would be, if they were not so hung up on why they were here in the first place. They made their way to the food court, and to The Big Squeeze, where they ran into some familiar faces...

"**JEN!**" shouted Cody.

"**CODY?**" gasped Jen.

"**TRENT!**" Wyatt pointed at Trent.

"**WYATT!**" Trent pointed at Wyatt.

"**HOT BLONDE CHICK!**" Jude gasped, gazing upon Lindsay.

"**JAMES!**" Lindsay yelled back, forgetting Jude's name.

"**JONESY!**" growled Duncan.

"**COURTNEY?**" Jonesy squinted in the direction of...

"**SIERRA!**" she growled.

"**COURTNEY!**" Jonesy exclaimed, turning towards...

"**GWEN!**" she responded.

Caitlin stood there silently, gazing upon all the gaping faces around her. The only one of them not in the know, she coughed to get their attention.

"**CAITLIN!**" Jen screamed.

"**YEAH!**" Caitlin applauded. "I feel included!"

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP**  
><strong>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

Thanks to the three of you who voted in the poll last week! The results will be revealed in a future chapter. Now, back to the show!

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Nineteen - Check Out That Gem! (aka 'Working Six') (07.12.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

All of the teenagers squeezed in around the circular table in front of The Big Squeeze, with the exception of Caitlin, who remained in her normal spot behind the counter. She had just heard how the two groups know each other.

"So you all met in Vancouver? Wow!"

"All except for me," Sierra told her. "I didn't join 'Total Drama' until after that."

"It sounds like you all had a good time. How come you all didn't invite me?"

"We did!" Jen snappily reminded her friend. "You didn't want to be on the show because you were afraid you were going to embarrass yourself!"

"It's a shame," Wyatt said with a smile, "you missed out on a lot of fun."

"Awwww..." whined Caitlin. "I wish I could compete on a reality show with you guys."

"Oh, nuts!" Jude jumped up out of his seat. "I just remembered I promised some dude I'd check out 'Fresh Challenge: Vets vs. Groms!'"

"Forget that," Duncan said, changing the subject. "Is there a Lost Gem of Wawanakwa here or what?"

"Sure is," answered Jonesy, placing one of his leftover posters on the table. "You guys must be who my ex-boss..."

Sierra gasped. "You got fired today already, Jonesy? You've never been let go of a job that fast before!"

"Uh... how do you know..."

"I know everything about all of you! I'm a big '6teen' fan! For example, I know you're a dirty, dirty skirt-chaser of a boy."

"Ah, so my reputation has spread to... wherever you're from."

"That's nothing to be proud of," scolded Jen.

"It makes me wonder why you haven't gone to see a psychiatrist yet," Sierra wondered out loud. "Especially since you've seen Jen partially nude on three separate occasions."

"**AAAHHH!**" Jonesy screamed.

"Nobody knows about that outside of us!" shouted Jen.

"How did you... why would you think I'm proud of that?"

Duncan leered at Jen, and ran his eyes up and down her body. Seeing this, she quickly crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

"Don't get any sick ideas!"

"What? I can't stare?"

[Trent and Cody both gained 1 point!  
>Scoreboard: Trent 4, Cody 4, Duncan 0]<p>

Trent and Cody high-fived each other, while Duncan turned to Gwen in disbelief.

"Oh, come on! That's against the rules now, Gwen?"

Gwen had just sent a text message to the writer using her cell phone. "It is now!"

"Enough of 'Everybody Wants to Bed Gwen!'" Sierra exclaimed, turning to Jonesy. "How do we win this Lost Gem?"

Wyatt read the rules at the bottom of the poster aloud. "It says that interested parties have until the close of the mall today to sell $1800 worth of merchandise and/or food will be put into a drawing for the gem. Up to six businesses can be represented by a single competing party."

"There's six of us," noted Cody, "so split six ways that's... $300 apiece."

"Not so fast," Jen spoke up. "There's only five of us. If we go six ways, someone's going to have to partner up with a complete stranger."

"That's shouldn't be a problem," Trent responded. "Besides, we've got plenty of choices."

"Then what are we waiting for?" asked Caitlin excitedly. "Let's do this!"

They all got up from their seats and went to enter the contest.

* * *

><p>After putting their entries in, the gang went their separate ways. Wyatt was seen walking to work with his partner, Trent.<p>

"I still can't believe you work at Burger McFlipster's, of all places," Trent said to Wyatt, still stumped in disbelief.

"It's not as bad as it sounds," Wyatt told him in return.

They walked up to the counter, where Wyatt's boss, Tim, was standing.

"Tim, I need a favor! I'm trying to help my friend Trent here win that contest being promoted throughout the mall. You know, the 'Lost Gems of Wawanakwa' one? He needs to work here for a few hours."

"Sorry, Wyatt," Tim told him, "but..."

"You have to let me work here," argued Trent. "I'll work for free! All I want is to help me and my friends win that contest!"

"I dunno..."

Trent pulled out his guitar and started playing it, while making up an impromptu lyric or two.

_Come to McFlipster's, it's a treat!_  
><em>The place with the best quality meat!<em>

Trent finished playing, then was surprised as he saw a trio of teenage girls standing there, squealing with glee.

"Not bad," Tim said. "Okay, you're hired!"

Trent and Wyatt smiled at each other. They were in business.

* * *

><p>Jonesy had a pleased smile on his face, as he and Sierra were walking through the mall together, looking for an open space, him tailing her.<p>

"I can't believe my luck!" Jonesy mumbled to himself. "Sierra's got Lindsay's boom-booms AND Gwen's bum! I couldn't have asked for a better partner!"

"Did you say something?" Sierra asked, without looking back.

"Oh... nothing."

"**OOH! THERE!**"

Sierra pointed to a spot near the mall's giant fountain. She then ran off, leaving Jonesy behind.

"Be right back! Mama's going to buy herself some building supplies!"

"She's a go-getter **AND** she's a reality star, too?" Jonesy gasped with delight. We'll make this money in no time, and then, as a bonus, I'll ask her out on a date! **SCORE!**"

* * *

><p>"So this is where you work?" Cody asked.<p>

"Yep," Jude nodded in confirmation. "Awesome, right?"

The two were standing in a game shop... one that, at the moment, was completely devoid of customers. Cody was a bit worried, but Jude was still pretty enthusiastic.

"All we have to do is sell a few games and we're done! We'll be finished by chow, bro!"

* * *

><p>Caitlin and Lindsay were behind the counter at The Big Squeeze, and the former handed the latter a white apron... and a lemon hat.<p>

"No way!" Lindsay refused. "I'll look like a fruitcake if I put that on!"

Caitlin frowned at her, as Lindsay noticed Caitlin was wearing said hat. Lindsay conceded, then began adjusting her locks so that hat would fit snugly on her head. As she did, though, she noticed Duncan sitting a few tables away.

"Duncan!" she shouted at him. "Come help me squeeze some lemons!"

"That's not the kind of lemons I like to squeeze!" he yelled back.

* * *

><p>Over at the Penalty Box, Gwen had just come out of the dressing room wearing the shop's uniform shirt over her clothes.<p>

"Perfect!" Jen exclaimed, giving Gwen a thumbs up.

"**MASTERSON!**"

Jen gulped, then turned around to see her boss, Coach Halder, standing there. Jen tried to think of an excuse to cover for Gwen.

"I'm with the Assistant Coach One-Day Exchange Program!" Gwen spoke up, having made it up on the spot. "I'm... from... South Calgary! Yeah, that's it!"

Coach leaned in towards Gwen for a closer look. He careful eyed her, running up and down her face, looking for any sign that she was not telling him the truth.

"Very well, then," he finally backed off, before turning to Jen, "you're responsible for keeping an eye on her, Masterson!"

"Yes, sir," Jen nodded.

Coach then turned and walked away. Jen then turned to face Gwen.

"I can't believe you just lied to Coach Halder!" she exclaimed. "If you get caught, guess whom he's going to blame? **ME!**"

"Oh, he'll never find out."

* * *

><p>The line leading up to the counter of Burger McFlipster's went out the door. Trent and Wyatt were a serenading duo of force, as made evident by three-fourths of the line being made up of girls, singing together before handing over each customer's order.<p>

_[Wyatt] You say single, we give you double!_  
><em>[Trent] Serving you burgers is no trouble!<em>  
><em>[Wyatt] Eat to your heart's content!<em>  
><em>[Trent] And get sung to by Wyatt and Trent!<em>  
><em>[Wyatt &amp; Trent] We hope we brightened up your day!<em>

They got yet another round of applause, cheers, and catcalls from all of the customers, both those sitting in and those in line.

"Incredible!" Wyatt exclaimed. "We'll make $300 easy!"

"$300?" Trent said in amazement. "There's enough people in line to make double, maybe even triple that!"

"I hope everyone else is doing as well as we are."

* * *

><p>The line was long at The Big Squeeze as well, but for an entirely different reason. Lindsay was struggling to keep up with making lemonade, as it was selling as fast as she could make it. Caitlin could not help, because most people were ordering specialties like lemon whips, and she was too busy making sure those went through.<p>

"Two large lemon whips!" Caitlin exclaimed, placing them on the counter in front of a pair of customers.

"About time!" they cried.

They took them, and started sipping. Before they could walk away, though, they spat them back out.

"These are warm!" one of them shouted.

"No refunds!" Duncan shouted, as Caitlin had put him to work at the register.

"Says who?"

"Says my fist!"

Duncan shook his fist menacingly at them. They ran away in fright.

"Duncan!" scolded Caitlin. "You can't do that!"

"We don't have time to be nice! We're trying to make money here! You should be thanking me... I'm saving your butt 'cause you suck at your job!"

Caitlin gasped. "Well... it's not my fault! It's Lindsay's! She's being too slow!"

They both looked at Lindsay, who had stuffed the blender full of water, lemons, and sugar, and was about to press the start button. That was, while forgetting to put on the top.

"**NO!**" Caitlin and Duncan shouted.

Lindsay pressed it anyway, and liquid splashed all over the place, on them, and a few customers in line.

"That's it," Duncan grumbled, as he threw off his apron. "I'm going on break! An extended one!

"You can't!" Caitlin begged. "What about..."

"You two dunces are on your own!"

Duncan walked off, leaving Caitlin and Lindsay to tackle the increasingly angered crowd by themselves.

* * *

><p>Jen had just finished up wrapping up a sale of a pair of running shoes, and she was pleased with herself.<p>

"That put us over $200!" Jen told Gwen. "A few more sales and we're done!"

"Finally," Gwen said with relief. "That boss of yours scares me. The way he sneaks up on people."

"**MASTERSON! NEW GIRL!**"

"**AAAAAHHHH!**" screamed Gwen.

Coach Halder had appeared in front of them, and he had a box with one shoe in it in hand... which he handed to Jen.

"The men's shoe shelves are a disaster area! Go clean it up!"

"Yes, sir!" she saluted.

Coach then pointed to Gwen.

"New girl! I want you to do a sweep of the change rooms! Pick up and put back anything you find in there... including swim trunks and Speedos!"

Gwen glanced over to the entrance to the change rooms, and gasped as she could already see a small pile of tried-ons there.

"Eeeeewwww!" she winced. "Are you kidding me? Can't you get a guy to do that?"

Jen heard that, and slapped herself in the forehead.

"Refusing a play from the head coach?" he growled. "That's it! Five minute major! Move it!"

Gwen grumbled, then marched her way to the box. But Coach was not done handing out penalties.

"Masterson! Five minute major for you too!"

"What?" she shouted, dropping the box in hand. "For what?"

"I contacted the head coach in South Calgary... and he told me he has not, nor ever has, anyone named Gwen worked at that facility!"

"But... that wasn't even my lie!"

"Maybe so, but you knew about it **AND** covered it up! That's just as bad! Now, march!"

Both girls took a seat inside, and the clock started the second the door was closed.

"Worst... job... ever..." commented Gwen.

* * *

><p>A long line had since formed leading to Sierra's booth, winding back and forth and taking up most of the hallway, leaving the very few who were not interested barely any room to squeeze by. Near the front of the line, Jonesy smiled as a jar half-full with dollar bills was next to him.<p>

"This is great!" he exclaimed. "Not only are we gonna reach our goal for sure, but we'll do it way faster than anybody else!"

Jonesy looked up and saw two people standing in front of him. It was Owen and Izzy, and they were in disguise. And by disguise, we mean they had on mustaches on their faces and were wearing trench coats.

"Is that **THE** Sierra?" Owen asked, in a baritone voice.

"Yep!" Jonesy confirmed. "$5 for an autograph, $10 gets you dirt on any of her ex-castmates as well!"

"Cool beans!" shouted Izzy, who made no effort to mask her voice.

The pair handed Jonesy $10 each, then approached Sierra's booth.

"Heeeeey!" greeted Sierra with a wave. "I see you both paid for the full package..."

She took two photos of the top of the pile and began to sign the first.

"So... who do you want to know more about?"

The two thought about it for a second, then Owen came up with a suggestion.

"Ooh! How about me- uh, I mean, Owen?"

"You're the first person who's asked for something about Owen!"

Sierra pulled out a notepad and flipped through it, searching for something on Owen.

"Let's see, let's see... oh! It says here Owen recently cheered for Vancouver to... lose the Stanley Cup Finals?"

Owen bawled loudly with distress upon having that memory coming back.

"Whyyyy? Why do **I** have to be reminded of my betrayal? I don't even know what a Canuck is! **WAAAAAHHHH!**"

Owen then ran off, leaving Izzy behind with Sierra.

"Ooh! Do Izzy next!"

Sierra flipped to her notes about Izzy.

"Izzy... once swam with Panama ghost catsharks who had been experimented on with brain-enlarging drugs? Whoa... I don't even remember writing that one!"

"Oh," Izzy began to explain, as she stripped out of her disguise and down to her swimsuit, "that's 'cause I'm doing that one tomorrow. Shipping those puppies is hard!"

"Izzy! What are you doing here?"

"Getting paid the billz! I'm the highest paid actor in this parody!"

"Even more than Cody? **YOU MONSTER!**"

Sierra jumped out from behind the booth and tackled Izzy. The two of them tumbled back and forth on the mall floor, switching between who was on top as they tried to kill each other. Well, at least Sierra was. Izzy just seemed to be playing along.

"What's going on?" Jonesy asked, half-concerned, half-turned on by the brawl.

He decided to reach in to try to stop them, but both girls focused on his planned interference long enough to fling him up and over the circling crowd. Jonesy landed in the fountain with a splash. As he spat out some water, things went from bad to worse as Ron the Rent-a-Cop pulled up on his cart.

"Well, well, well!" he said as he got out and walked over to the fountain, glaring at Jonesy. "I should've known all of this hubbub is your doing, maggot!"

* * *

><p>Finally, it was nearing the end of the day. The gang gathered in front of The Big Squeeze to count their receipts.<p>

"So, that's what happened," Jen told them. "After we got busted, Coach kicked Gwen out, and I was forced to do her workload as well!"

"Still," Gwen looked on the bright side, "we came out with $208. Not bad."

"Not bad? On a good Saturday, I can sell twice that!"

Gwen frowned. "Well, excuse me, Miss Pushy!"

The girls turned to look at Jude and Cody.

"We just broke even," Cody revealed, dropping five receipts on the table. "And that's only after some dude dropped $120 on a Connect and some crazy food time-management game."

Jude chuckled. "Dude wanted to get his pretend chef on, heh heh!"

"Well," Wyatt said with a smile, as he glanced over at Trent, "I'm glad we came through... and **THEN** some!"

Trent dropped a signed cash slip, showing proof of their sales during the lunch rush. The others' eyes nearly fell out of their sockets in shock.

"$762?" they all yelled. "In four hours?"

"It would've been more," Wyatt stated, "but we had to shoo people away when we ran out of burgers."

"We did so well, Tim offered to hire me on the spot!" Trent exclaimed. "Still not sure if I'll take him up on the offer."

"What about Jonesy?" Jen asked out loud.

At that moment, Jonesy and Sierra arrived at the food court, both with their heads hung low.

"How'd you guys do?" Wyatt asked.

"Nada!" Jonesy shouted in exasperation. "Zero, zilch! Ron the Rent-a-Cop shut us down for operating a stand without a permit! That, and that crazy redhead, Izzy, showed up, and she and Sierra got into a fight."

"So you guys have **NOTHING** to show for it?" Gwen glared at them.

"Our money was confiscated as evidence!" Sierra explained, as she held up her right hand to cover a bite mark on her right cheek and two missing upper teeth on that side. "And if anyone asks... I won! Got it?"

Everyone nodded in compliance. They all then turned to Caitlin and her team.

"Well?" prompted Jen.

Caitlin printed out a sales receipt from the register. She read the total aloud.

"Despite all our woes, we totaled $522."

Lindsay applauded with glee. "Yeah! We mean we still came out on top after all of my slip-ups?"

Caitlin nodded, and the two blondes happily hugged.

"Not so fast," Wyatt interrupted them. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but according to my calculations... that leaves us four dollars short."

The entire group sighed in disappointment.

"Great!" Duncan grumbled. "Now we'll have to come back next week and do this all over again!"

Sierra looked at her watch. "Well, we still have three minutes until closing."

Suddenly, out of the blue, the still-disguised Owen walked up.

"Hey! Can I have one of your large lemon whips, to go?"

"Those cost five dollars!" Jen gasped. "Make one, make one!"

"Fine," Duncan relented, rolling his eyes as he went to work.

Owen searched his coat for a $5 bill, while Caitlin and Lindsay started eying him oddly.

"Hey, Lindsay!" Caitlin smiled. "Check out his shoes!"

"His shoes?" Lindsay pointed out. "Check out his trench coat!"

"His trench coat? Check out his mustache!"

"His mustache? Check out his hair!"

Owen did a double-take. "Uh... you guys know I'm standing here, right? Can you just check out my drink?"

The girls looked cross at him.

"Check out your dri-ink?" Caitlin asked before turning to Lindsay. "Check out his attitude!"

"His attitude?" Lindsay asked, before fanning the air in front of his face. "Check out his ba-reath!"

Duncan plopped the completed lemon whip on the counter. Owen handed over a $5 bill... and the Lost Garnet of Wawanakwa!

"Check out that gem!" squealed Caitlin, picking it up off the counter.

"That gem?" Lindsay countered, pulling out the Lost Topaz. "Check out **THIS** gem!"

Caitlin gasped in shock, while Gwen pulled out her knapsack to search for the topaz... which was no longer in there.

"How did she..."

"Shhh!" Jude shushed her, trying to watch Caitlin and Lindsay's act. "This is gettin' good!"

"Gem, nothing!" Caitlin blew off Lindsay's jewel, before pointing up at her hat. "Check it out! My hat!"

Lindsay nodded happily. "Oh my gosh, check it out! I have the same hat!"

"Ugh!" Owen shook his head. "I just wanted my drink!"

He picked up his whip and walked off.

"We did it!" Cody exclaimed joyfully, with his active Save Orb in hand.

"It's been great seeing you all again," Gwen said as she hustled out of her seat, "but we've got to be going."

"Already?" Jonesy cried in distress, grabbing a hold of Sierra's hand. "We haven't even gone on a date yet!"

Sierra was flabbergasted. "Ummmmm..."

"What he means is..." Jen began to say.

"Check out dance?" Lindsay looked at Caitlin.

She nodded in return. "Check out dance!"

They danced out from behind the counter as the song played in the background.

_They're the best of friends,_  
><em>with the worst of 'tudes;<em>  
><em>They're the 'Check It Out' girls,<em>  
><em>and they're checking out for you!<em>  
><em>Check it out!<em>

Jude suddenly stood up in his seat, placed one foot on the table, and gave the girls a rousing ovation.

"Yeah! Encore, encore!"

***** To be continued... *****  
><em>[don't tell izzy she actually makes the least out of everyone]<em>

_Preview for Next Week's Chapter - Go to bit(dot)ly/ngVmRK_


	7. They're All Dead

In a house in the suburbs of some unknown city, the doorbell rang. Lindsay appeared, wearing a stunning red dress that looked a size too small and was barely keeping everything that was supposed to stay hidden in it. Lindsay opened the front door, and waiting on the other side was Sierra, dressed in a cashmere sweater and her normal blue jeans. She led Sierra into the kitchen, where the three kids were seated at the dining room table, doing homework. Only they were not kids... they were teenage boys. Trent, Cody, and Duncan, to be exact.

"Mom!" whined Trent. "I'm too old for a babysitter!"

Cody and Duncan snickered. At this point, Lindsay's husband decided to make his entrance, dressed in a black tuxedo.

Oh, wait... **HER** entrance...

"I did **NOT** agree to this!" growled Gwen.

"Can you fill out a red hot dress?" Lindsay asked, flaunting her figure. "Don't be silly, A-cup!"

"I'm gonna go start the car."

Gwen stomped out of the house, keeping in the urge to kill Lindsay buried within...

"We'd... better go," realized Lindsay, before turning to Sierra. "Have fun!"

The two of them headed for the front door, and Sierra locked it behind Lindsay once she had stepped outside. Sierra then returned to the kitchen.

"Alright!" Sierra grinned from ear to ear. "Dinner time!"

"But," answered Trent, "we all had dinner already."

Sierra licked her lips...

"I haven't!"

...and fangs suddenly popped out of her upper canines. The three boys grabbed each other in fright and screamed...

"**AAHHHHH! MY BABYSITTER'S A VAMPIRE!**"

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP**  
><strong>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

This week, things get freaky as the supernatural attacks! Hope you brought something to combat them.

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Twenty - They're All Dead (07.19.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

The group was walking into an old, abandoned mining town, with Trent leading the way, followed by Duncan, Lindsay, Cody, and Sierra - all of them back in their normal clothes.

"So are we done pandering to our executives?" Duncan asked, a bit annoyed.

"Yep," replied Sierra, who was counting a stack of $20 bills.

Lindsay gasped in shock. Everyone turned to her.

"**WHAT?**" they all yelled.

"Guys! It is the **WORST**!"

She held up her left hand to reveal that...

"I chipped a nail! Oh, and Marioismissing."

"Forget Mario!" Trent exclaimed. "Where's Gwen?"

The group stopped walking and looked around them, trying to spot her.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes ago...<p>

The gang was walking in the woods, and they had just come upon a fork in the road. Gwen was bringing up the rear, but instead of looking ahead, her face was buried in a novel entitled 'Vampires Blow 3: Seriously, We Are So Yesterday!' As a result, she did not notice them take the left road, heading slightly uphill towards the aforementioned town. Instead, she went down the right road, unaware she had separated from the group, declining downhill towards a cemetery.

* * *

><p>"Sierra was supposed to be watching her!" Duncan called her out.<p>

"Don't look at me!" she argued. "I don't want to rock her casbah!"

"We have to go back and find her," decided Trent, already formulating a search plan in his head.

"No! Gwen's a smart girl! She knows how to avoid trouble. I'm sure she's perfectly fine."

* * *

><p>Gwen was at the cemetery, her book no longer in her hands but now lying open and cover down on the ground. She had been surrounded by a biker gang, and their leader had hopped off of his and was walking right for her.<p>

"What you doin' on our turf, mamacita?" he asked.

The guy stepped into the light, and Gwen gasped upon seeing that it was Alejandro, who had the eyes and fangs of a vampire.

* * *

><p>The quintet continued to make their way through the ghost town, with dilapidated old-time buildings boxing them in on both sides.<p>

"I can't believe Gwen just walked off like that," Trent said in disbelief.

"You know chicks," commented Duncan. "They need their 'me' time."

Cody was shivering in his shoes. "Why'd she have to pick this, of all places, to go missing?"

He then closed his eyes, expecting at that very second for Sierra to wrap her arms around him and cradle him like a baby.

"Don't you worry, shnookums!" Sierra said aloud. "Mama's here to protect you."

"Uh..." Trent spoke up, as he felt Sierra all over him, "this is just a wild guess... but I think you've got the wrong guy."

"Nonsense!" Sierra exclaimed, so sure of herself that she used her tongue to bath Trent's right ear.

Cody raised a hand up to his own ear... and shook in fright.

"That reminds me," Lindsay spoke up, "I have this strangest feeling we forgot someone at Calamari Beach. But..."

Suddenly, someone began to sneak up on Lindsay from behind.

"...now, don't tell me! I'm sure I'll remember his name. Um... let's see..."

Everyone turned around and froze when they saw said person reaching out to grab Lindsay by the shoulders.

"**LINDSAY!**" they all yelled.

"No, no! That's a girl's name!"

"No, Lindsay!" Cody pointed behind her. "Don't turn around!"

She did an about face, and saw Tyler standing there. But he was anything but normal, if his blue face, tattered clothes, facial scar, dozens of missing teeth, and visibly dislocated bones were any indication. Lindsay screamed.

"**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!**"

On pure instinct, she reached up and slapped Tyler across the face. The hit was so strong that Tyler's head and neck became detached from the rest of his body, flying off and landing ten feet away.

"**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!**" Lindsay screamed again.

"**I TOLD YOU NOT TO TURN AROUND!**" scolded Cody.

"He's a zombie!" Duncan stated aloud. "And not even the cool kind!"

Tyler walked away from Lindsay, going over to pick up his head off of the ground, which he did and then reattached to the rest of his body. He then began marching back to his girlfriend.

"Braiiiiins..." Tyler growled, putting his arms out in front of him, reaching towards Lindsay. "Braiiiiiins!"

"Finally!" Lindsay huffed proudly. "I'm getting recognized for how smart I are!"

"Let's leave before Zombie Tyler realizes she's nothing but filler!" Duncan told the others.

They nodded, and started to run off. Unfortunately, their escape was cut off by several dozen more zombies. And they were all clones of Tyler.

"Clone zombies?" Trent gasped. "That doesn't even make sense!"

"Forget sense!" Cody told him. "If they get a hold of us, we're undead!"

"Don't you mean dead?"

"I know what I said!"

Trent, Cody, Duncan, and Sierra bolted into the nearest building and closed the door behind them. The foursome stood there in near pitch black darkness, each of them barely able to see more than a couple feet in front of them.

"So anybody know how to get rid of zombies?" Duncan asked the group.

* * *

><p>"<strong>AAAAAAHHHHHH!<strong>"

Gwen was screaming her head off as she ran through the cemetery, trying to get away from Alejandro and his vampire motorcycle gang, who were chasing her on foot.

"Get her!" Alejandro shouted. "She must not be allowed to escape!"

Gwen scanned the area as she ran, looking for something - anything - she could use to assist in her get away.

"Juuuuump..." she heard a voice call out to her.

"What?"

"Juuuuump!"

Gwen then saw an open pit a few graves ahead and off to her right, having been dug in preparation of putting a coffin in.

"Oh! Jump!"

She made a beeline for the pit, picking up speed. Upon reaching it, she pushed upwards with her right foot and leaped into the air. She was attempting to jump nine-foot long gap.

Attempting and failing, that is, as she was barely halfway across when gravity took a hold of her and slammed her down into the pit.

"Oof!"

Gwen had landed face-first at the bottom of the rectangular-sized hole. As she lifted her face up out of the dirt, she heard Alejandro's gang get closer and closer and closer and...

Further and further?

Apparently, they had not seen Gwen's failed long jump try, and they ran right past the pit without even taking so much as a wandering glance down into it. Gwen breathed a sigh of relief as she got to her feet, but just as she did, she felt something tug on her. Or, rather, her knapsack, which was strapped to her left shoulder. She turned around and saw that the person trying to steal from her was...

"DJ?"

Sure enough, the would-be thief was DJ. Only he was not human. He was a ghost.

* * *

><p>Back in town, Sierra had succeeded in finding a lantern. She lit the candle inside, and instantly she and the boys could see that they were in a store of some sort. Or, was a store, as the shelves were barren save for empty bottles, broken cans, and ripped up blankets. Trent had wandered over to the sporting section, where he made a great find - a glass case full of metal baseball bats.<p>

"Let's bust some zombies, and then go find Gwen!"

* * *

><p>DJ was holding onto Gwen by the underarms as he levitated her out of the pit and back on solid ground. Still in disbelief over DJ's current state, Gwen reached out to touch his chest... but her hand went right through him.<p>

"So you really **ARE** a ghost?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you for the last five minutes!"

"If you don't mind me asking... how?"

"Oh. Well, I was flying from Vancouver to San Antonio. Then someone on board decided it would be fun to let two dozen king cobras loose..."

"**THERE!**"

Gwen turned around and saw Alejandro and his gang had doubled back and were coming for her.

"We must steal a girl's most precious thing from her!"

Gwen blushed, then fired back at Alejandro angrily.

"**YOU SICK PERV!**"

Gwen then grabbed DJ, who was shocked that she was able to touch him, and she flung him at Alejandro. The vampire gang stopped dead in their tracks and ran away in fright. All except for Alejandro, who stood there as DJ got to and went through his body. Once on the other side of Alejandro, DJ regained control and stopped his flight.

"How did..." DJ said aloud, stumped, "you shouldn't... **NO SENSE!**"

But Gwen had already fled the scene, not willing to reveal how she broke the laws of human interaction with ghosts... or to wait for Alejandro to grab her.

* * *

><p>The dozens and dozens of zombie Tylers were roaming the streets, gnawing on random objects around them like street sign posts, small plant leaves, even their own skin. Obviously, they were hungry, and were looking for something to eat. Perhaps something, or someone, with brains in them.<p>

They were about to get their wish, as the entry door into what was left of Izzy's store was kicked outwards, knocking down a few of the undead minions in the process. Trent, Cody, Duncan, and Sierra came out, each of them with an aluminum bat in hand.

"Time to bust some skulls!" shouted Duncan.

The foursome yelled battle cries, then ran into the mob, swinging fiercely as they went to dislodge and smash some zombies. Their plan seemed to work, as heads went flying faster than the group could count.

"Keep at it!" Duncan yelled. "And don't leave a single head whole!"

Sierra got creative, performing a spinning roundhouse kick to knock her adversaries to the ground, then using her bat to smash each of their heads like they were watermelons. Cody was being inventive as well, as he pulled out his Roulette Block and used it to access a suit that consisted of two black shells - the bigger one to put on his back, and the smaller one to be used as a helmet. He threw his bat at an approaching Tyler zombie, knocking his head clear off, then Cody reached into his back shell and started pulling small hammers out of it, which he started chucking at his enemies.

"Take that, bad guys!" he declared. "It's hammer time!"

* * *

><p>Gwen stopped to catch her breath behind a giant boulder. She had her right hand clasped over where her heart was, feeling it beat so fast that she was afraid it was trying to break out of her at any moment.<p>

"This is great," she quipped sarcastically. "I complain about a few, tiny things... and I get rewarded by having zombies and ghosts chase me?"

"And zombies."

"And zombies! Wait, what?"

Gwen looked down and saw that Noah had his hand around her left ankle. He, too, had been turned into a zombie at some point, though he appeared and talked more coherent than the average member of the undead. He also happened to have a good view under Gwen's skirt... which she quickly became aware of.

"**HEY!** Brains don't live there!"

She gave Noah a boot to the head, which separated the rest of his body from his right hand, which remained gripped around Gwen's ankle, as Noah tumbled down a steep hill, breaking into several more pieces as he bounced continuously off of the incline. When Noah finally reached the bottom, his head and all of his limbs were no longer attached to his body. Still, Noah was pleased with himself.

"Everypony will tell me later... all this pain's worth it!"

After a couple of tugs, Gwen managed to pull Noah's detached hand from her ankle. She tossed it aside, and, as she did, noticed the now-abandoned Terrier City lying in the valley below, not too far away.

"Something tells me I need to get down there."

She looked further left and found a cobblestone stairway and path leading down the hill nearby. Gwen bolted out of her hiding place and made a break for it.

* * *

><p>Gwen was unaware that she was heading straight into a massive zombie battle, one that had taken a turn for the worst for our heroes. The group did not seem to be diminishing in number, and now they had Trent, Cody, Duncan, and Sierra completely surrounded. Sierra was the only one who still had her bat, as the boys not only had lost or had theirs taken away, but they were in much worse shape. Cody had lost his hammer suit, and all three guys' clothes were in tatters or were now virtually nonexistent, as they were down to their boxers or underwear.<p>

"Well," Duncan noted, "this is an embarrassing way to die."

Cody glanced over at Sierra, who had a few scratches on various parts of her skin, but her clothes were all still there.

"How are you still fully clothed? Don't zombies rip off girls' stuff first?"

"You must be thinking of Japanese zombies," Sierra replied in a serious tone, as she was still in survival mode. "Canadian zombies try to rip off guys' clothes first."

"Somebody make a note," Cody shouted aloud. "If we survive this... and I turn 18... I'm moving to Tokyo!"

"Braiiiiiiiiiiins!" all of the Tyler zombie clones said in unison.

"Guys," Duncan suddenly spoke up, "since we're about to bite it big time, I have a confession to make."

The boys turned to hear what he had to say, and so did Sierra... after she pounded another Tyler zombie that had gotten too close.

"I never should've broken up with Courtney. I should've found a way to work it out with her. She was... she **IS**... **THE ONE!**"

**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!**

The air filled will one loud blast after another. And with each successive blast, a zombie's head exploded into hundreds of pieces. After about ten of them had gone done, the one responsible for their deaths emerged from the crowd. It was Courtney, dressed like Sheva Alomar from 'Resident Evil 5,' cleavage and belly button both highly visible. She had a shotgun in hand, which she was in the process of reloading.

"Glad I found you in time," Courtney said to the quartet.

Duncan glared at the others. "If anyone repeats what I said about her, you're dead!"

The others nodded as Courtney opened fire on another gaggle of zombies. In just a matter of minutes, she had eliminated all of them by herself, leaving piles of decaying zombie clone pieces scattered all around.

"Delightful," Courtney deadpanned. "They're all dead."

"That was amazing!" Trent cried out with gratitude. "We're glad you decided to show up to save us."

Courtney smiled. "That's what I do. Save people."

Courtney then reached into the pocket on the other side of her pants and showed the group her badge.

"I'm a member of S.T.A.R.S.!"

Cody jumped up and down excitedly. "You mean the Special Tactics and Rescue Service?"

"**NO!** The Supremely Talented Apparition Rangers, Stupid!"

"Why are you here?" Duncan asked, annoyed that Courtney was ignoring him.

"I'm looking for Gwen," Courtney replied with a smirk, followed by a cocking of her shotgun. "I want her!"

"Get in line, Princess! You've got three people ahead of you."

"**UGH!** Just like you to think with your 'other' head first! Besides, I'm after her because I heard she has several of the Lost Gems of Wawanakwa! And I want them!"

Speaking of which, Gwen appeared at that very second, emerging from a nearby alley. Courtney turned towards Gwen and fired off one shot. Gwen did not see it coming, and yet she had the foresight to bend her head towards her left shoulder just in time. The bullet zipped right by Gwen's head, and lodged itself into its intended target's heart.

That target? Alejandro the vampire. The bullet exploded on contact, tearing him apart and sending pieces of the Latino flying everywhere.

"Silver bullets," Courtney said aloud. "Never leave home without them."

"**SILVER DOESN'T EXPLODE!**" a frazzled Gwen yelled at Courtney as she stomped up to her savior. "**AND YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!**"

Courtney sighed before issuing her response.

"One, the silver my supplier gives me does! And two, if I wanted to kill you, Gwen... I'd never use a shotgun!"

She handed her weapon to Sierra, then turned back to face Gwen.

"I'd prefer strangling you with my own two hands!"

"Well, why don't you try it, Court? Right here, right now!"

But before the girls could try to kill each other, Courtney whipped around, pulling out a cube from her pocket as she did. It expanded upon hitting the ground, into a ghost trap. It immediately activated, with the top opening up and a visible sign of air being sucked into it. Air and a ghost - DJ, to be exact - who happened to be flying over it at that very moment.

"Come on!" DJ exclaimed, exasperated. "I just wanted Gwen's most precious thing!"

But DJ would never get a hold of it, as he was sucked into the trap. It closed up, the green indicator light on it changing to red to signify that it was full. Courtney walked over to retrieve it.

"DJ wants her too?" Sierra grumbled. "When did Gwen suddenly become Total Drama's most desirable bachelorette?"

"For the **LAST** time," remarked Courtney, as she squatted down, "they're **NOT** after Gwen's virginity! They're after the Lost Gems of Wawanakwa! As am I!"

Courtney stood up, and turned around to berate the group some more for their stupidity. But instead... **BLAM!**

She dropped to the ground, her head blasted off by Gwen, who had taken the shotgun from Sierra while the hunter's back was turned.

"**THAT'S** for shooting at me! Bitch!"

"**BURN!**" shouted Duncan.

"Gwen," Trent went up to her with a concerned look on his face. "I don't think you should've done that."

"She'll be fine. She's got two more lives."

"That's not what I..."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Fine. Let's find Lindsay and book it before Court-."

"**YOU GUYS LEFT ME TO GET EATEN!**"

They all turned to see an irate Lindsay glaring at them, arms crossed over her... barrel? And they quickly figured out why she was in it, as she pulled out from the top a two-inch by two-inch piece of fabric. Which happened to be all that was left of her clothes.

"Ah, they were American zombies!" Sierra exclaimed before adding, in a whisper, to Cody, "They're equal-opportunity clothesrippers."

"**I'VE NEVER BEEN SO [BEEP]IN' VIOLATED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! [BEEP!]**"

"Shouldn't you have enjoyed it?" Duncan questioned. "They were all Tylers, after all."

Lindsay proved how much she enjoyed it, by ripping the shotgun out of Gwen's hand and using it to shoot Duncan. Thankfully, her shot was off the mark. But Duncan bolted for the hills anyway.

"Save time, save time!" Cody said in a panic as he pulled out the Save Orb.

Lindsay then turned the shotgun on the others, and they turned to run after Duncan. Another pull of the trigger, another miss. Lindsay gave chase, intending to kill as many of them as she could in her state of rage... or at least until she ran out of ammo. If she could hit one of them, that is.

**BLAM!**

"**AH!**" yelped Duncan. "You nearly got me in the ass!"

"**NOTHING SHOULD EVER [BEEP]IN' GO IN THAT!**" Lindsay yelled. "**NOTHING!**"

(*Izzy*  
>And they lived happily ever after! The End!<br>Next week, I get to kill someone!)

(*Narrator*  
>No, you... oh, wait! You actually do!<br>Be afraid, people. Be very afraid.)

***** To be continued... *****  
><em>[forget pissed off courtney, ticked-off lindsay scares the crap out of me]<em>

_Preview for Next Week's Chapter - Go to bit(dot)ly/oOM8Jl_


	8. I Fatalitied Her!

Some unknown time after the end of the previous chapter, in the grand hall of an ancient European castle. Suddenly, out of the blue, Trent, Cody, and Duncan zapped into the room out of nowhere. They seemed to be surprised to be there. Less than a second later, another group appeared behind them. This group not only included just Gwen, Sierra, and Lindsay - but also Eva and Izzy. But before they could all ask each other what they were doing there, a booming voice answered their thoughts for them.

"Welcome, champions all!"

Their heads all raised skyward up to the top of 20-foot pedestal, and up top stood Alejandro, dressed in a black hood and cape, and wearing a partial mask straight out of 'Phantom of the Opera.'

"I am the Master of Games!" he declared. "And you are hereby invited to compete... in the Tournament of Heroes!"

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP  
>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

The violence gets kicked up another notch this week, as does the titillation! Why? The gang takes on the fighting game genre this week!

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Twenty-One - I Fatalitied Her! (07.26.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

The platform Alejandro was on lowered to ground level, and he approached his eight would-be combatants. By the looks on their faces, he could tell he was going to have plenty of questions to answer.

"How are you alive?" Trent asked. "We saw you..."

"Explode into a million pieces!" finished Duncan. "Also, why are you not a vampire? And what's with the mask? And... how did you get a second appearance?"

"The magic of theater and showbiz, my friend," replied Alejandro, "oh, and a body double that was willing to take a dive for me."

"Who could ever be a double for you?" cooed Lindsay. "You're so... so... so..."

"Yuck!" cut in Eva, as she pushed Lindsay aside. "I wanna know why I'm here, scumbag!"

"Yes," Gwen agreed, putting her hands on her hips, "why is Eva here? And... Izzy?"

She gasped as she came to a realization.

"Please don't tell me we're playing 'That's My Horse' again! I still have scars from the last time!"

"Speaking of last time," Sierra wondered, "where's Heather? That was her idea, right?"

"**ENOUGH!**" yelled Alejandro, the rise of his voice shutting everyone up. "**I WILL NOT STAND FOR ALL OF THIS TYPE OF LOCO QUESTIONING!**"

"I have a question!" screamed Izzy. "Why were all of the Tyler clones named Tyler?"

Everyone looked dumbfoundedly at her. Alejandro decided to move on with his role as Master of Games, as he pulled out a one-button remote control and aimed it at a gated door. The group turned and saw the gate rise, and then the curtains pull to either side. Then they all heard... the growling of tigers?

"Wait!" Alejandro said in a panic, as he pressed the button repeatedly. "Mal remoto! Mal remoto!"

The gate quickly dropped back down, and just in time as the tigers were about to leap out and maul the entire group. But their assault was stopped by the gate, and they were forced to resort to thrust their arms through the holes, in a feeble attempt to reach out to the group. Everyone was nearly shocked to death over nearly getting ripped to shreds. Except for...

"Ooh, nice kitties!" Izzy smiled. "So big and mean and **GRRRRR**!"

Alejandro tossed the remote he had in hand over his right shoulder and pulled out a different one, which looked exactly like the first. He aimed it at the floor, and a small trap door slid open. Out of it rose a small pedestal, which had a glass case atop it. A case that had something really valuable in it.

The Lost Turquoise of Wawanakwa.

"Now, onto my game... uh, I mean, the Tournament of Heroes."

The octet listened closely as Alejandro explained the rules.

"Today, the eight of you will be competing in a fighting tournament! The matches are all one-on-one, though you may use a tool of assistance, if you so desire."

Alejandro pointed out the myriad of weapons hanging on the walls around them, from slingshots and boomerangs to swords and rifles.

"Losers go home - if they can still walk afterwards - winners move on! The last person standing at the end gets to face me... and if that person manages to get the better of me, the Lost Turquoise is theirs to take home as the grand prize!"

He then spontaneously stripped out of all of his clothes, except for a thong, so he could flash his abs... and other body parts.

"Let me get this straight," Duncan repeated his words, "if one of us wins your little tournament and **THEN** defeats you one-on-one, you'll give the winner the turquoise gem?"

"Si," nodded Alejandro in confirmation.

"And doing so requires us fighting one another, with the extremely real possibility of some of us dying as a result?"

"Si!"

"And if I stop asking questions... will you agree to **PLEASE** put something on over that man-thong of yours?"

Alejandro smirked, then wiggled his hips side-to-side.

"Why? Jealous?"

Upon hearing that accusation, Duncan felt his mouth fill with puke. He ran over to a nearby vase and threw up into it.

"You may **EACH** choose one item for you to use to help you win your fight. Choose wisely, my friends and foes... 'cause there are no take-backsies!"

Trent pulled out his sheathed sword, Cody took out his Roulette Block, and Duncan plucked a dagger off of the wall. Lindsay produced a long bo from her knapsack, Eva slipped on a pair of brass knuckles, Izzy whipped out some nunchucks, and Gwen had her dark magic book in hand, ready to retap into her sorceress side.

And lastly was Sierra, who reached into her pants, grabbed the elastic band of her underwear, and pulled on it until it snapped, revealing that her pink panties were going to be her weapon. Everyone shot her odd looks.

"Trust me," Sierra explained, "I saw this in one of those Japanese anime shows. That is... if I can get it to transform!"

She then started playing with it, trying to get it to change into something else. Cody leaned over to whisper something to Trent.

"And here I thought Izzy was the looniest one!"

"The time for preparation is **OVER**!" Alejandro shouted. "Champions! Round one! Face your opponents!"

They all turned towards each other, none of them with any idea of who they were fighting. And then, they were all teleported out of the room.

* * *

><p>(*Alejandro*<br>Trent versus Sierra!)

Trent and Sierra materialized on a large platform floating ten feet in the air. Suddenly, they heard deafening cheers, as they looked all around them and saw that they were in stadium, filled to the brim with over 100,000 screaming fans, ready to see this primetime duel - since it was taking place at night, given the moon hovering above. Trent unsheathed his sword, while Sierra was folding her panty as it were origami paper, trying to change it into... something...

* * *

><p>(*Alejandro*<br>Eva versus Izzy!)

Eva and Izzy appeared on a bridge made completely of stone at night, one that had no railings at all to prevent someone from falling off.

* * *

><p>(*Alejandro*<br>Cody versus Duncan!)

The two boys found themselves on a raised walkway attached to the inside of the wall which served as a defense to keep invaders out of the abandoned military stronghold they were in. Cody wanted to spend a minute taking in his surroundings, but Duncan would not let him, as he charged for Cody with dagger in hand, looking to make this battle quick.

* * *

><p>(*Alejandro*<br>Lindsay versus Gwen!)

Lindsay and Gwen surfaced with their feet ankle-deep in a small stream, whose source was a nearby waterfall in the background. A number of trees dotted the banks on both sides. But the thing that amazed them the most was that they had both undergone a costume change during the transfer.

Lindsay was dressed in a red tunic that left very little to the imagination. The sides of both of her huge breasts were plainly visible, and so were the entirety of the sides of her thighs. The only thing keeping a random gust wind from blowing the so-called piece of clothing off of her body was a tightly-tied yellow band around her waist. She was also wearing red socks, which were lodged in a pair of rubber sandals. As for Gwen, she was now in a black corset-like one-piece bikini, which pushed up her chest and made it look bigger than it actually was. She also had on purple tights underneath, which were just sheer enough to be see-through, and had on a pair of knee-length, high-heeled black boots. To top it all off, she was wearing fake bat wings attached to a headband in her hair.

"I should be embarrassed," blushed Lindsay, "but I've never felt so alive! It feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! **NOTHING AT ALL!**"

"I dunno," Gwen shrugged. "Maybe it's because... **YOU ARE WEARING NOTHING!** Ugh... at least I'm more modestly dressed than I thought I'd be. The writer wanted me to dress like that girl from 'Soul Calibur.'"

"The one whose outfit is so tight it's like she's wearing nothing?"

"No, the one who **IS** pretty much wearing nothing!"

(*Alejandro*  
>Let the contest... <strong>BEGIN!<strong>)

Lindsay twirled her bo in front of her, spinning it with her hand. She then raised it above her head, holding it like a sword, and then she charged at Gwen. Gwen quickly opened her magic book, searching for a spell to use.

"Air!"

She began to sweep her right hand from right to left, but before she could complete the motion, Lindsay brought down her bo in a sweeping motion, using it with such force that it hit Gwen in the head so hard that she was sent flying. Gwen landed a few feet away, back-first, in the shallow stream, her unbound breasts bouncing as her back made contact. She also coughed up a small amount of blood as a result, yet she still managed to hang onto her book the whole time.

"**AAAAAHHAAAAHHHAAAHHH!**" screamed Lindsay, like a banshee.

She continued screaming as she jumped up into the air, her bo in the air once again, as she immediately went for another head shot.

* * *

><p>Duncan was swinging and stabbing wildly at Cody, who was dodging every near miss. Duncan had managed to get Cody away from his Roulette Block, which the latter had gotten activated, but had not gotten time to pull an item out of it.<p>

"You picked the wrong weapon, dweeb!" Duncan shouted.

Finally, Duncan hit pay dirt as his dagger's blade nicked Cody's skin, a few inches to the right of his nose. A small cut became visible as did a few drops of blood.

"Take it easy!" pleaded Cody. "He didn't say this was a fight to the death!"

"It's the only way I know to **FIGHT**!"

Duncan went right for the heart, but Cody sidestepped it just in time. He placed his hands on Duncan's back and pushed him away, then made a break for the Roulette Box. Duncan stumbled a few steps, then regained his balance.

"Oh, no you don't!"

He flung his dagger at the back of Cody's head, but his throw was uncharacteristically weak, as it hit the ground before it could reach its mark. Cody got to the Roulette Box and hit it, and out popped a Fire Flower. He touched it, and instantly his clothes became all white and his skin turned orange.

"Two can play at that game!" Cody declared. "Fireballs can kill almost anything!"

He moved his left hand forward to launch a fireball, but to his surprise, his right moved in tandem. The two came together, in a way that his wrists came together, forcing one hand to point up and the other down. Then a ball of energy quickly formed from his palms, and then...

"**HADOKEN!**"

Thrusting his arms forward, a fireball launched from Cody's hands, and it barreled towards Duncan. He took it head on and was propelled off his feet. He landed on the ground hard, but got back up shortly thereafter, wincing a little, but otherwise fine.

"Nice try, but it's gonna take more than that to put me out!"

Duncan picked up his dagger off the ground and charged for Cody again. Cody, though shocked at his fireball outburst, was more than ready to give Duncan another does of his special attack.

"You're dead!"

"**HADOKEN!**"

* * *

><p>Neither Trent or Sierra could hear themselves think with the noise in the stadium reaching eardrum-shattering levels even as the duo battled. Well, while Trent battled, as he swung his sword wildly at Sierra.<p>

"Give up, Sierra!" Trent yelled. "I'm missing on purpose so that I don't hit you!"

"What?" yelled Sierra back, both unable to hear him and still occupied manipulating her panty. "I can't hear you!"

"Say again? I can't hear you!"

A beam sword materialized right next to Sierra, but she backed right by it... especially since...

"Oh, right!" Sierra smacked herself in the forehead as she remembered something. "I have to say the incantation!"

"What?" Trent shouted as he stopped swinging his sword.

"Cast in the name of God..."

Sierra's panty became engulfed in a white and blue fireball. She continued on as she spun it over her head...

"...ye not guilty!"

With the ball still twirling, she moved it so that was in front of her, and yelled...

"**REPENT!**"

Her underwear changed into a pistol, still spinning as it revolved around her right index finger, which was in the trigger guard. She let it spin until the barrel was pointed at Trent's head. Sierra grabbed the handle with her hand and pulled the trigger, firing a powerful shot. Trent both ducked and put his sword up as a defense. Good thing he did both, because Sierra's bullet pierced through Trent's blade, slicing it in half.

"Uh oh!"

Trent ran for the far end of the platform, and Sierra gave chase. A wooden crate on wheels appeared, and Trent grabbed it and pushed it towards his pursuer.

"You think I'm an idiot? A crate can't stop my bullets!"

Sierra fired another shot just as she was about to reach the crate - essentially, point-blank range. But the instant the bullet hit the crate, it exploded! Sierra was sent flying up and out of the stadium, and eventually, out of sight.

(*Alejandro*  
><strong>GAME!<strong> Winner... Trent!)

Trent breathed a sigh of relief as the raucous crowd applauded his victory. He then looked at what was left of his sword, puzzled as to what he would do for the rest of the tournament.

* * *

><p>"I'm the best!" yelled Lindsay. "<strong>I AM, I AM!<strong>"

Gwen was backpedaling, doing her best to avoid Lindsay's attacks. She had been hit a few times, and had the bruises to show for it. But Lindsay refused to let up, charging every chance she got, even though she felt her breasts bounce around as if trying to slip out of her tunic.

"Klon air!" Gwen shouted out of the blue.

She stopped running and Lindsay took the opportunity to get in an open swing. Her bo hit Gwen right in the left side of her body, hard enough to rupture an internal organ. But instead of the bo stopping upon hitting Gwen, it went clear through to the other side, to Lindsay's shock. The Gwen standing before her... was a hundred percent water!

"Ruang air!" Gwen shouted from off-screen.

A column of water shot out of the stream just inches from Lindsay's face, as if it were exiting a geyser.

"Ruang air! Ruang air! Ruang air!"

Three more appeared around Lindsay, surrounding her on all sides and leaving her with no way to escape.

"Merendam air terjun daripada kebasahan!"

The four walls suddenly formed a dome, meeting at the top to enclose Lindsay within. Water then poured in from that top, coming down as if it were a waterfall, and with nowhere to run, Lindsay was doused with ten gallons of water almost at once.

15 feet outside the structure, the real Gwen was in a casting pose, smiling as she waited for her spell to complete its work. Once it began to collapse, she returned to a full standing position and shut closed her spell book. She trotted over and found Lindsay had been thrown onto the shore. Lindsay had been knocked out. Her right hand rested over her chest, and the only piece of clothing of hers that had not been ripped off by the violent water-based attack was her red thong.

"Nice try going all Vana Glama on me," Gwen chuckled, "but **NOTHING** beats my Soaking Waterfall of Wetness!"

(*Alejandro*  
>Winner... Gwen!)<p>

* * *

><p>Cody had hit Duncan with his special attack so many times, the latter was dazed and reeling, and ready to collapse.<p>

(*Alejandro*  
><strong>FINISH HIM!<strong>)

Cody panicked, at first because he did not like the connotation of what that meant, and then what moves to make to comply with the request.

"Um," he uttered, as he began making motions as he called them out, "up, down, up, down, back, forward, and press B!"

He mimicked pressing a button on a controller, and Duncan disappeared in a puff of smoke... and then reappeared as a two-year old version of himself, with a rattle in hand.

(*Alejandro*  
>Cody wins! Babality!)<p>

Duncan threw his rattle to the ground, but it bounced back up and hit him in the nose, and he started crying as a result.

"Are you **SERIOUS**?" cried Cody.

* * *

><p>Trent, Cody, and Gwen were transported back to the grand hall. To their surprise, though, Alejandro was nowhere to be found, but he had left the Lost Turquoise of Wawanakwa out and unguarded.<p>

"That didn't just happen, did it?" Trent looked at his friends. "I just fought Sierra, and she blew herself into orbit!"

"You think that's weird?" chuckled Cody. "I somehow managed to turn Duncan into a toddler!"

"I have you two beat!" snickered Gwen, still dressed in her outfit. "I assaulted Lindsay so thoroughly, I left her nude and asleep on the beach!"

Trent and Cody's eyes went wide.

"And I'm pretty sure she'll be okay, although that area is indigenous to nine-foot tall gorillas with foot-long... we should probably go back and rescue her."

Gwen then saw Cody was reaching over to cop a feel, so she reacted by smacking his hand harshly.

"Ow! If you don't want me touchy, don't dress you touchy!"

Suddenly, Izzy appeared, signifying that she had won her match as well.

"Izzy beat Eva?" Trent said out loud. "That... actually doesn't surprise me."

"I didn't just beat her!" Izzy told them. "I fatalitied her!"

"**YOU WHAT?**" all three yelled at her.

"Yep. May Eva rest in peace... in her bed of spikes!"

* * *

><p>Below the stone bridge they had fought on was a pit of spikes. And down there was Eva, impaled by four spikes - one through her mouth, another through her stomach, and one through each of her legs, as she had landed spread eagle.<p>

* * *

><p>"If I have to face you in the next round," Cody interjected, "I forfeit. That's a horrible way to die!"<p>

"Speaking of," wondered Trent, "where is Alejandro to tell us who's fighting who next?"

Izzy laughed. "Well, um... 'bout that..."

* * *

><p>Back in the pit, a few rows over, laid Alejandro, having suffered the same fate as Eva.<p>

* * *

><p>"He went on a smoke break," Izzy lied. "He said he wasn't coming back 'til he went through three or four packs, so he declared us all co-winners!"<p>

"But," Gwen argued a flaw in her tale, "Alejandro doesn't smo-"

"Hey," Izzy changed the subject, "here's Bridgette with the key to the case!"

Izzy pulled Bridgette out from a nearby room, where she had been hiding. Bridgette was dressed in a blue baby tee that left her belly button exposed and a pair of low-riding jean shorts. She unlocked the case, grabbed the turquoise gem, and walked over to Gwen, whom she handed it to.

"Congrats, Gwen... even though it ended in a four-way tie, you're the keeper of the Lost Gems... so you get the grand prize!"

"Cool!" Trent clapped in anticipation. "What do we get?"

"Um... my thanks for saving me, and I get to join your group?"

"That's great and all," Cody waved it off, "but I only have eyes for Gwen. I'm a one-girl kinda guy."

"If you don't want her," Izzy jumped in, as she grabbed Bridgette by the arm, "I'll take her! I've got plans!"

Bridgette gulped. Gwen came to her rescue, by grabbing the blonde's other arm.

"She's **MY** best friend, so I say Bridgette comes with **ME**!"

Bridgette breathed a sigh of relief.

"You can't have two blonde bombshells in your group!" Izzy argued. "Who do you think you are, the Playboy Bunnies on Tour?"

"Well," chuckled Gwen suggestively, "I suppose we **COULD** leave Lindsay where she is after all..."

"**GWEN!**" everyone in the room scolded her.

"Okay, okay! So we can't have two blondes in the group! How do we decide who stays?"

Izzy smirked. "I think I have an idea... heh heh heh..."

***** To be continued... *****  
><em>[give yourself a cookie if you can name all seven fighting franchises referenced in this chapter]<em>

_Preview for Next Week's Chapter - Go to bit(dot)ly/qgTIrt_


	9. What Would Izzy Do?

Trent and Cody were leaning slightly over the railing on the deck. The mode of transportation they were using was bobbing up and down due to the ocean, and the breeze was blowing strong enough to mess with their hair. But they did not care, as made evident by their smiling faces.

"Hey, Cody."

"Yeah, Trent?"

"**DON'T YOU DARE!**" Duncan yelled from off-screen.

The two inhaled deeply, then began singing on exhale...

_I'm on a boa-_

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP**  
><strong>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

Well, if you voted in that poll a few weeks ago, then you probably can guess which blonde gets a place in the main party. If you didn't... then all the blame for the ending goes to you!

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Twenty-Two - What Would Izzy Do? (08.02.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

A couple hours later, Cody sat up. He raised his arms above his head, stretching them as far as they would go. He tossed the sheets aside and got up out of bed.

"Boy, that was a nice nap! But I don't... remember..."

Suddenly, he heard the PA system come to alive. He turned to the speaker, as the sound of someone tapping on a microphone on the other end could be heard coming from it.

(*Izzy*  
>So, if you're hearing the sound of my voice<br>You probably realize... you're on a boat!  
>The next thing you'll discover... is that your door is locked!)<p>

Cody walked over to the door and tried to open it by pushing down on the latch. It would only move a couple inches before the lock stopped it from proceeding any further. He then noticed that the keyhole for it was on his side, even though he was in a room.

(*Izzy*  
>Remember I told you that I had an idea?)<p>

"Yeah... how are we gonna decide who stays?"

(*Izzy*  
>There are nine people on this boat, spread over nine rooms!<br>Oh, and exactly nine minutes from now, this thing blows sky high!)

"**WHAT?**"

(*Izzy*  
><strong>KABOOM! KABLOOEY! YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP!<strong> You get the idea.)

[Countdown Clock: 9:00 - 8:59 - 8:58]

"But how does that solve anything?"

Cody waited for Izzy to respond... but he got no answer.

"Oh no, oh no, **OH NO!**" Cody shouted, panic starting to seep in.

Cody reached for the latch again and tried to force the door open. But he was too weak to do so, but his instincts kept telling him getting this door open was the only way out.

"You can't do this! I'm still a virgin!"

Suddenly, Cody came up with another idea. He would try to ram the door down. He released his grip on the latch and started marching backwards, as far as he could go. He was almost there when he felt his right foot come down on something. Curiously, he stopped, lifted his leg up, and underneath his shoe, he saw...

"A key? **A KEY!**"

He picked it up, rushed to the door, and tried to put it in the keyhole. It fit perfectly. He turned the key to the left, and heard a click. Excitedly, he pushed down on the latch, and the door swung outwards.

"**YES! I'M GOING TO LIVE!**"

Cody got down on all fours and started to kiss the wood floor. Until he realized it was covered with dirt, at which point he spat all of the crud on and in his mouth back out.

[Countdown Clock: 8:13 - 8:12 - 8:11]

He glanced to his left, and saw a lighted hallway. He then turned right, and saw nothing but darkness.

"Going towards the light is a good thing," Cody told himself. "But this is Izzy we're talking about, so..."

He got to his feet, and ran into the darkness. A few seconds later...

"**AAAAAHHHHH! OOF! OW! OH! OOF! CRAP! GACK! WHY! ME! ACK!**"

Cody had tumbled down a flight of stairs, landing at the bottom with a loud thud. He winced in pain as he got back up, grasping his aching back. As he did, he was faced with three choices: climb back up the stairs, go left down yet another pitch black hallway, or go right down a dimly lit corridor.

"Fool me once, shame on you! But fool me twice..."

Cody went right. He immediately came to a door on his right. He tried to open it, but it was locked. He then banged hard on the door.

"Hello? Anyone in there?" he asked.

He pressed his ear to the cold, metal door to listen for any cry for help. Nothing.

"I hope Izzy was wrong and there's not a person in each of the nine rooms!"

As Cody continued to proceed down the dim-lighted inner hallway, he began fanning the air around him away from his nose, as the stench was getting too unbearable to take.

"Man, it smells like something **DIED** down here!" he exclaimed, before adding happily. "That means Gwen **MUST** be nearby!"

"Ha ha, very funny."

That sarcastic groaning had come from Gwen, and Cody pinpointed that it was coming from the door ahead of him to his left. He ran to the door, his shoes pounding on the metal floor underneath him.

"Any other unfair goth generalizations you'd like to make while I can't reach out and strangle you?" queried Gwen.

Cody laughed nervously and tugged at his collar.

"Sorry," he apologized. "It's just... I wasn't expecting a day like today!"

He reached for the door latch...

"**STOP! DON'T TOUCH THE LATCH!**"

Cody immediately halted his approach.

"It's pressure-sensitive! If you so much as tap that latch, you'll set off the bomb on my side of the door off!"

Cody gulped.

"And there's... another thing..."

Inside the room, Gwen, still dressed in her Morrigan outfit, was currently handcuffed to a pipe that ran along the wall she was next to. And she was wearing a silver collar that had one light on it. A light that was currently flashing red.

"If the bomb on the door goes off, so does the one on the collar I'm wearing. So unless you wanna see what I look like without a head..."

Cody thought for a second.

"I need to find the remote for your collar! Hang tight, Gwen! I'll be right back!"

Cody ran off.

"Go ahead! It's not like I can go anywhere!"

Cody reached the end of the hallway, denoted by another door. He knocked.

"Is there anyone in there?"

"Cody? Cody, is that you? Oh, for once I'm glad to hear you!"

Cody recognized the voice. It was Courtney's.

"Get me out of here!"

Cody pushed down on the latch, and surprisingly, it was unlocked. He wondered why Courtney was still in the room if that was the case. Once he stepped in the room, he found out why, as Courtney was not only completely wrapped in duck tape from the neck down, but she was also attached to the ceiling. Her head was the only part of her body she could move, and she used it to look down at Cody.

"Don't just stand there! Get me down!"

Cody regained his focus and scanned the room, searching for something he could use to reach Courtney. The first thing that popped out to him was a used roll of duck tape. He went over to it, and saw that someone had written the number '7919' on the inside liner.

"Hmmm..."

He then spotted, in the corner of the room, a C4 bomb. There was a timer display attached to it, but it was not working. He lifted it up to his left ear, though, and confirmed it was active when he heard ticking coming from it.

"Some time today, Cody!"

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something sitting on a stool near the room's light switch. It was a five-inch Blaineley plush doll. He put the bomb down, then walked over to the doll, and as he got closer to it, he noticed a small amount of light reflecting off of an object just underneath the back of the doll's neck.

"Is that... a zipper?"

Sure enough, it was. Cody picked up the doll, in such a way so that the doll's back was facing upwards. Cody grabbed a hold of the slider and started moving it downwards. But doing so did not unzip the back of the doll's dress, but the actual back itself. He peered inside and saw a whole lot of cotton stuffing... and a shiny rod. But when he pulled it out, the rod turned out to be the end of a key.

"**SCORE!**" shouted Cody.

"Great!" Courtney remarked. "But I don't see how a key **GETS ME DOWN**!"

"I just thought of something!" Cody came to a realization. "I need a ladder! And maybe... this key will lead me to one!"

Cody reached for door latch and pulled it down.

"Good! Get the ladder, and come back for me! Okay?"

"You got it!" Cody assured her, as he left, closing the door behind him.

[Countdown Clock: 5:41 - 5:40 - 5:39]

He ran back to the locked door on that floor, and tried the key. It did not work.

"Dang!"

Thinking there might be doors on the other end of the floor, he took off, bolting past the stairs and into the darkness.

And into a metal door.

"**OW!**"

After peeling himself from the door, Cody felt around for the latch. When it did not budge, he searched for a keyhole.

"A-ha!"

He found it, put the key in, and turned it. The door unlocked. He pushed down on the latch and stepped into even more darkness.

And then...

"**AAAAAHHHHH! OOF! OW! OH! OOF! CRAP! GACK! WHY! ME! ACK!**"

He had fallen down another flight of stairs. As he picked himself up from this tumble, he felt a light switch along the wall. He flipped it up, and the area was illuminated. But then he saw a small placard underneath the switch. He read it aloud.

"'Thanks for turning on the lights! This placard will self-destruct in five seconds.' **WHAT? FIVE SECONDS? AAAHHHHHHH!**"

Cody ran for cover, jumping over a long crate that was blocking the hallway and ducking behind it. The placard exploded, taking out the bottom half of the stairs and puncturing a few small holes in the hull near it. As a result, water started to trickle in from the outside.

"Gotta get off of this ship! And save Gwen! And Courtney! And..."

"Me! **SAVE ME, YOU DIMWIT!**"

"I'd recognize that insulting tone anywhere! That's..."

He ran to the first door in the hallway. It was locked. But, luckily, next to it was a fire extinguisher cabinet. On the glass read 'In case of fire, break glass.' Cody thrust his clothed elbow into the glass, breaking it in one go. He grabbed the fire extinguisher, but instead of pulling it out, turned it until he found a key taped to it. He took the key and used it to unlock the door. He opened it and stepped inside.

"I'm here, Heather! And... that's... uh..."

Cody saw that Heather was in her everyday clothes, except for her brown halter top, which had been replaced with one made completely of dynamite sticks. She also had a small key hanging from a lanyard that was around her neck.

"Let's just get out of here," deadpanned Heather.

Heather walked up to and past Cody, swaying her hips side to side as she did. Cody stood and stared, then down at his pants, and then... at the lock on the dynamite top, located just underneath Heather's armpit.

"One," Heather interrupted his train of thought, "I already tried the key on my neck. It doesn't fit. And two... **ICK!** Stop lusting at me! It's bad enough you do it to Gwen! She's not hot enough to deserve it!"

Cody grumbled a few things under his breath as he followed Heather out of the room. They went further down the hall, and they ended up at a set of double doors. Luckily, they were unlocked. They swung them open and walked into what seemed to be a research lab. But once they stepped inside, the doors automatically slammed shut, followed by the sound of them being magnetically locked.

"What the hell?" asked Heather unhappily.

[Countdown Clock: 3:35 - 3:34 - 3:33]

(*Izzy*  
>You're almost out of time! Tick tock, Cody!)<p>

"How about cutting me some slack?" pleaded Cody.

"**HELPPPPP!**"

That cry had come from three girls. Ahead of him, he saw Bridgette, Lindsay, and Sierra all tied together with rope, and dangling over a moon pool.

"If we weren't on a boat about to blow up," commented Cody, "I'd say I was in Heaven. You know, all of you girls and just one guy... heh heh, me."

"Knock off your fantasies and help me save them!" Heather shouted.

Heather and Cody ran over to large control panel. It had dozens of buttons and levers on it.

"Which one operates the pulley?" Cody asked aloud.

"Wait..." Heather stopped him. "What's that?"

She pointed at two buttons protected by a locked case, and both were larger than any of the other ones on the panel. Heather, acting on a hunch, took off her necklace and inserted the key into the lock. She turned it one way, then the other - and the panel door popped open. Revealed to the pair were a large red button that was labeled 'Do Not Push' and a slightly smaller green one that was labeled 'Do Push.'

"Which one?"

"Why you asking me? Don't you want to be the manly hero?"

Heather had a point. If Cody wanted to have the glory, and perhaps all the girls, the choice had to be his and his alone.

"WWID?" Cody started repeating to himself aloud. "WWID?"

"This isn't a spelling test!" Heather berated him.

"No, no! WWID stands for... 'What Would Izzy Do?' If Izzy was in my shoes, which button would she press, and it would be the right one?"

He thought about it, and then pressed the red button. He then heard screaming, followed by the sound of the trio of suspended girls falling into the water. Cody turned around and saw the uncomfortable glare of Heather in his face, and behind her, the girls sinking under the surface.

"**THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!**"

Cody ran to the edge and saw that some of the rope had dropped onto the floor in front of the pool and had not yet been pulled in to the water. He picked it up and started pulling. Heather trotted over to help, getting behind Cody and beginning to tug.

Finally, they were reaching the other end of the rope. And hanging on to it was Sierra. Just Sierra, who was taking deep breaths and coughing up water as she was pulled up to safety.

"You saved me!" she cried. "You **SAVED** me!"

Sierra wrapped her arms around Cody to hug him in gratitude, but she almost choked him with the handcuffs that were locked on her wrists in the process.

"Oops," Sierra said as she pulled back.

"Hold up!" Cody suddenly realized. "Were you wearing those handcuffs before?"

"Uh huh. When we came to, we were all wearing them."

"Wait... **ALL OF YOU?**"

Sierra nodded. "I was lucky enough to grab onto the rope, which really wasn't tied all that tightly to begin with, but the others..."

Cody jumped into the pool before Sierra could say another word. He swam downwards, and once he was clear of the hull, he started scanning for the girls. But he could not see Bridgette or Lindsay anywhere. To make matters worse, he could already feel his lungs screaming for air. He swam back into the boat. Upon surfacing, he found the rope waiting for him, and Sierra and Heather pulled him out.

"What happened?" Heather asked. "Did you get them?"

Cody shook his head.

"You mean... that only **ONE** person owes me a favor? What a rip-off!"

"If only we had some scuba gear," Sierra thought aloud.

"As much as it hurts to say it," Cody interrupted her, "I think we've got bigger problems."

[Countdown Clock: 1:43 - 1:42 - 1:41]

Sierra suddenly sprinted to the other side of the lab, and kicked down a wall to reveal a hidden elevator.

"I didn't even know this boat was big enough for one of those!" Cody scratched his head.

"Worry how it's possible later!" Heather shouted. "We've got an escape route!"

Sierra pressed the 'up' button as Cody and Heather ran over. The doors slid open immediately, and all three got into the car. They rode it up as far as they could go, which turned out to be the bridge. The doors slid open, and they found the cabin to be deserted. But they also saw that the steering wheel had been booby-trapped with a pipe bomb. Suddenly, Cody spotted a key cabinet, and it had all the remaining keys in it.

"Talk about a stroke of luck!" Cody said with a relief.

There were five keys total, and four of them were the same size. Each of those small ones were labeled with a letter, A to D. Cody scanned Sierra's handcuffs looking for one of those letters, and found it had been stamped with a C. He found the matching key, and used it to unlock the restraints.

"I'm free!" Sierra shouted with glee.

Heather grabbed the only key that looked different from the others. She inserted it into the lock for her top, and then remembered that Cody was in the room with her. She kicked him and Sierra out onto the deck, then closed it behind her.

"Was that necessary?" Cody wondered. "Everybody's seen 'em."

"About time you wieners showed up!"

The pair glanced down the deck and saw Duncan and Trent by the railing, currently in the midst of reeling something in with a fishing pole. Cody ran over to them.

"What are you guys doing?" he asked. "Don't you know what's going on?"

[Countdown Clock: 1:02 - 1:01 - 1:00]

(*Izzy*  
>One minute to go, and then <strong>BOOM BOOM<strong>!)

"We've got to get out of here!" Cody told them. "This boat is rigged to explode!"

"Yeah!" Duncan said, pointing to three large, black, round bombs with lit fuses on the deck, near the bow. "We figured."

"Almost got it..." Trent screamed, as he pulled back on the rod.

Cody then turned and saw what the guys had been fishing for, as it put one hand on the railing, then the other, then pulled herself up and over it and onto the deck.

"**IT'S A MERMAI-** oh, it's just Lindsay."

"I still have all my clothes on!" Lindsay raised her cuffed hands in jubilation. "Huzzah!"

Cody pulled out the three remaining handcuff keys and found the one that undid Lindsay's restraints.

"How did you survive?" Cody asked her.

"Dolphins. I got hooked onto one of their fins, and it tugged me up!"

"What about Bridgette? Where's she?"

"Not sure. She got hooked on a dolphin too. Though hers was bigger... and had a lot of sharp teeth."

Cody sighed. "I guess we know which blonde we're keeping."

"**GUYS, OVER HERE!**" they all heard Sierra shout.

They saw Sierra was flinging a tarp off of the ship's lone life boat. At the same time, Heather emerged from the bridge, her explosive top having been replaced with a plain, old admiral's jacket. They all started to run for the life boat, until...

"Wait!" Cody stopped in his tracks. "We still have to save Gwen!"

"What?" Trent shouted. "Gwen's on this boat?"

"We can't leave without her!" Duncan exclaimed. "This fic ends if she dies! Whose pants will we try to get into then, huh?"

Duncan then saw, out of the corner of his eye, that Sierra was waving happily at them, as if 'volunteering her services.' Seeing this, Duncan grabbed Cody and threatened him.

"Save her, dweeb! If she dies, you better die with her!"

Duncan walked over to the stairs and threw Cody down them.

"**AAAAAHHHHH! OOF! OW! OH! OOF! CRAP! GACK! WHY! ME! ACK!**"

"We'll get everyone to safety!" Trent shouted down into the boat. "Just save Gwen!"

With that, Trent and Duncan piled into the life boat with Sierra, Heather, and Lindsay. Sierra released her grip on the rope, and the boat dropped into the water. Heather reached for the starter cord on the attached engine, and with one pull, the motorboat roared to life. She tugged them out to a safe distance, then turned them into a stop.

"Any second now..." Heather said, mentally counting off the last few seconds in her head.

Trent crosses his fingers. "C'mon, Cody!"

Suddenly, a giant frog popped his head out of the water, only a couple feet from the boat. And Cody's head was in it! Next surfaced Gwen, who was riding on his back and was minus the collar, and then Izzy... who was riding on Gwen's back.

"**YAHOO!**" yelped Izzy. "Let's do that again!"

They all saw that Gwen had the Save Orb in hand, which she had already activated, and once it had completed its function, she leaned forward and gave Cody a peck on the cheek.

"Thanks for the save," she told him.

"Woo hoo!" Cody raised a hand in triumph. "Frog suit FTW!"

Then, they all heard the sound of Izzy's boat explode several times over. The group saw it tear into many pieces, most of which went flying in every conceivable direction. Once the explosions died down and all that was left was the boat remains still intact burning away, the group all sighed in relief.

"Well, other than Bridgette," noted Sierra, "everyone survived! We can still count that as win, right?"

"I'll take it!" Duncan replied. "Let's get back to shore and throw a 'We're all still alive' party!"

Everyone cheered to that idea, and Cody, Gwen, and Izzy were helped onto the boat. Once they were all aboard, Heather fired up the motor again, and they left the smoldering remains of the boat behind.

***** To be continued... *****  
><em>[i believe cody's winning now]<em>

_Preview for Next Week's Chapter - Go to bit(dot)ly/nMgjBA_


	10. Copyright Infringement

"So we got a lot of questions about there being too many plot holes," Cody said aloud, "so we decided to resolve all of them right now. Ready?"

He took a deep breath, then ran down the list, starting with...

* * *

><p>A video of Cody walking through a night club, with most of the girls that have shown up this season so far scattered around the room, which led to him singing...<p>

_So many girls in here, where do I begin?_

And then he saw Gwen turn and smile at him...

_I see this one, I'm 'bout to go in_

Cody walked over to chat...

_Then she said, "I'm here with my friends,"_

Gwen pointed to Lindsay, Sierra, Heather, Katie, Sadie, and Izzy.

_She got me thinking, and that's when I said,_  
><em>"Where them girls at, girls at?"<em>

* * *

><p>Cody was seen holding a remote control, shortly after pressing pause.<p>

"Whoops! That video was supposed to be private!"

He then saw his reflection in the screen, and noticed for the first time... that someone had dyed his hair purple.

"**WHY IS MY HAIR THE SAME COLOR AS SIERRA'S?**"

"So we can be all match-y!" Sierra yelled from off-screen.

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP**  
><strong>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

Tired of the violence of the last few installments? Good! Here's a chapter more suited for younger audiences. Literally!

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Twenty-Three - Copyright Infringement (08.09.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

(We rejoin our cast in time for this week's escapade, as they walk through the streets of a major metropolitan city.  
>Oh, remember me? I'm the narrator! I'm baaaack!)<p>

The group was walking on a crowded sidewalk very late in the morning, just as people were beginning to emerge from their places of employment for their lunch breaks. Duncan and Trent led the way, with the former giving anyone trying to walk through them a frightening glare. Right behind them were Gwen and Heather, who were eying each other with suspicion and distrust. And behind them were Cody and Sierra. Cody had managed to get most of the purple dye out of his locks, though traces still remained upon closer inspection. Sierra had her arms wrapped around Cody and had squeezed him close to her body to protect him from everything around them.

"Man!" Cody grumbled. "I can't believe that bump to the head made you remember your obsession for me!"

"I don't know what you're talking 'bout, my Cody-wody," cooed Sierra as she started intensely at his scalp. "I must say, though... what's with all the dandruff?"

She picked a couple of white flakes out of his hair.

"I wouldn't **HAVE** dandruff if you'd put my shampoo in my hair instead of yours!"

Back at the front, Trent said something to Duncan.

"I guess with the old Sierra back, Cody's out of play."

"Yep. Fat chance he gets enough time away from the Living Vice Grip to gawk at Gwen. I say this just became a two man race!"

The group all came to a stop at an intersection and waited for the light to change.

"Not that I care," Heather suddenly spoke up, "but why am I hanging around with you dorks?"

"Because you need to pay Cody back for saving your life?" hinted Gwen.

Suddenly, the crowd behind them parted, and the sextet were amazed to see the seventh member of their group, Lindsay, finally catch up to them. And she had been busy in her absence, as she had at least half a dozen small shopping bags hanging off of her arms.

"How long are we staying here in Mega City?" she asked. "Because I saw these to-die-for heels that would, like, so accentuate my calves!"

(**HOLD ON!** I thought we were capping the cast at six!)

Gwen looked at the group and realized the narrator was right. But which girl to send packing?

"This is going to be a tough decision."

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later...<p>

"Okay, I lied. Not so tough."

A bus pulled away from the curb, and Heather was seen pressing against her window, holding up a middle finger at Gwen as she passed by her.

"Why, Gwen?" cried Cody, as he grabbed her left hand and pleaded for her to help him. "**WHY?**"

She did nothing as Sierra pried Cody's hand from Gwen's and pulled him away.

* * *

><p>The gang walked away from the bus stop and into the park, passing underneath a banner advertising 'Trade, Deal, and Twist Day,' an outdoor festival that happened to be taking place that very afternoon. Trent and Duncan led the way, followed by Sierra, who had found a baby carriage at some point in the past 30 seconds and had stuffed Cody into it, and then Lindsay and Gwen were bringing up the rear. As they proceeded deeper into the park, they saw a ton of kids gathering in bunches, most of them boys, and they all were abuzz as they waved around handfuls, stacks, and binders of trading cards.<p>

"Great," grumbled Duncan sarcastically, "we just walked into Geek Central."

They walked by two boys who were trying to initiate a trade.

"I'll give you two #75s, a #93, **AND** a #205 for your ultra-rare #20!" bargained the first.

"A #205?" scoffed the second. "Gimme a #204 instead!"

"#204? You're crazy!"

"Nobody cool would be caught dead here," Duncan commented. "Case in point..."

The group stopped upon coming upon Noah, who was running a booth that had binders full of trading cards from loads of different games spread out in front of him.

"It's Noah!" Lindsay pointed out rather late. "Aren't you... dead?"

"No," he answered. "Your brain, on the other hand..."

Noah then went quiet, expecting Lindsay to fire back. So he looked at her, and waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

And waited...

"Look at this diamond-encrusted potato peeler I bought!" Lindsay shouted, showing it to Noah. "Isn't it GREAT?"

"I rest my case."

"No, no! Not a case! A peeler! P-E-A-L-U-R!"

"What's with the stand?" asked Trent, changing the subject.

"Trying to make some extra money on the side, just like everypony here! Kids are saps for trading cards."

"So we've noticed."

Trent pointed out all of the kids around them, as well as a few unshaven heavy-set men in their 20s and 30s.

"So what does that have to do with us?" a curious Gwen questioned.

"What? Do I have to explain everything to you and everypony that asks?"

"Dude," Duncan glared at Noah. "How come you keep saying everypony instead of everybody? Is your brain box on the fritz?"

"What are you talking about? I say everypony all the time!"

Lindsay then gasped loudly, grabbing everyone's attention as she leaned over the counter and pointed at something in a glass case on a pedestal behind Noah. The object in question resembled a spinning top, but Lindsay was more focused on the design pattern painted on it.

"**PINKIE PIE!**" Lindsay squealed with delight.

Lindsay tried to stretch over the counter to get to the case, but Noah pulled a meter-stick out of nowhere and used it to whack Lindsay on the hands. She instantly pulled back, crying out in pain.

"**OW!**"

"Don't touch!" Noah scolded her. "That's a super-beyond-rare, Saskatchewan 280A, with a custom Pinkie Pie recurring pattern! Only five of them were ever made! So **NO TOUCH**!"

"Pinkie Pie?" Sierra thought aloud. "As in the one from the new 'My Little Pony' show?"

Upon hearing that, Trent, Cody, and Duncan all broke out in laughter. Noah frowned upon seeing this.

"I can't believe it!" chuckled Cody. "He watches 'My Little Pony!'"

"Dude, you can't be serious," guffawed Trent. "That show's for little girls!"

"Next he'll be telling us he still plays with his Barbies!" snickered Duncan.

"Hey!" argued Noah. "It's a good show that's entertaining and teaches the values of friendship without being insulting to anyone's intelligence! You guys just aren't smart enough to appreciate it!"

"Whatever, man. You justify it however you want! Heh... pansy."

"Knock it off!" Gwen cut in, putting an end to the guys' mockery of Noah.

"Thanks," Noah said with relief.

"If Noah wants to make a fool of himself by loving a show he's clearly too old - and not the right gender - for, then so be it!"

"And... thanks repealed."

"Everyone is ashamed to admit they like something that's clearly not meant for them! Like Duncan and his obsession with 'Say Yes to the Dress.'"

"**GWEN!**" Duncan growled. "That was supposed to be a secret!"

He then saw Trent and Cody about to snicker, so to stop them, he shook two clenched fists their way.

"I watch it for the hot babes, okay?"

"The point **IS...**" Gwen began to shout.

"I've heard enough," Noah cut her off. "There's only one way to settle this!"

Lindsay smiled happily.

"**A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME!**"

Lindsay frowned sadly. "Awww..."

* * *

><p>(And now, another thrilling installment of...<br>Intermission with Izzy!  
>This week, Izzy spoils the ending of...)<p>

"Hold up!" Cody interrupted as he walked onto the stage. "We can't do this yet! I still haven't gotten around to fixing all of the plot holes in our story!"

"I got this," Izzy announced as she rose up from below. "The answer to everyone's questions is simple!"

"How is that?" Cody wondered.

"Because everyone knows the answer to **EVERYTHING** is 70!"

Cody looked confused.

"The reason why the story's not repeated more than once even though you've forgotten to use your Save Orb at the end of every episode? 70!"

"But..."

"And how you managed to find Gwen and get off that exploding ship in under 30 seconds? 70!"

"No, actually..."

"And why **CHICKEN** has **CHICKEN CHICKENS** on him? **70!**"

"**IZZY!** You just spoiled the end of this week's chapter!"

"Oh, **CHICKEN** doesn't matter. Just like all of the other **CHICKENS** that die. They don't matter."

"Just like the number 70?"

"**THE NUMBER 70 ALWAYS MATTERS!**"

(This has been an Intermission with Izzy!  
>And now, back to the fic!)<p>

"**YEAH!**" Izzy cheered. "**WE FIXED OUR PLOT HOLES!**"

* * *

><p>Back at the park, a crowd had gathered around a small skate bowl, completely surrounding it. Standing above one edge was Noah, and on the opposite side were Trent and Duncan. The girls and Cody, still stuck in a baby carriage, were off to the side.<p>

"This is a two-on-two battle!" Noah shouted out the rules. "Each combatant is only allowed the use of one top, and is deemed out when said top stops spinning! The last top standing wins the match!"

"Two-on-two?" Trent questioned the rules. "But, Noah... you don't have a partner!"

Upon hearing that, Gwen went wide-eyed.

"I betcha Noah picks Gwen," guessed Sierra. "What do you think of tha-"

Sierra turned to where Gwen had been standing, and she had been replaced by a life-sized plush doll of herself, which was sitting down. It also had a sign hanging from her neck that read 'Out to Lunch.'

"Why would I pick Gwen?" Noah shouted towards the girls. "I've got me a ringer!"

Sierra looked over again, and the doll had been replaced by Gwen herself. She and Cody stared uneasily at Gwen for a few seconds, before Cody broke the silence.

"Can I borrow that?" he asked, referring to the doll.

"**NO!**" Gwen and Sierra yelled back.

"**BEHOLD!**" Noah exclaimed, stepping aside as the crowd parted behind him. "**MY PARTNER!**"

Everyone watched as Noah's teammate came forward... and it turned out to be Justin.

"Hey."

He then suddenly ripped his shirt off and smiled as he flashed his pecs. All of the girls in the crowd could be heard swooning... save for Gwen, Sierra, and Lindsay, none of whom were impressed, because they had all seen it before.

"What does Justin know about... whatever we're about to play?" queried Trent.

"Oh, you'll find out," smirked Justin. "You'll find out."

Justin and Noah then both pulled out top launching mechanisms out of thin air, and proceeded to snap them onto their respective right arms.

"Where'd you get those from?" Duncan asked.

They then each pulled out a top and placed them in their launch chambers. Noah's was yellow and brown, while Justin's was all green.

"And those?"

The pair then pulled out some trading cards and placed them in their card holders.

"Oh, come on! We don't have any of that junk!"

"**CHECK YOUR KNAPSACKS!**"

Everyone glanced at Lindsay, who had shouted out the surprise suggestion. She noticed all of the eyes trained on her and responded.

"What? None of you have ever heard of plot convenience?"

"Lindsay," Gwen said with a frown, "you don't even know how to **SPELL** convenience!"

Nevertheless, Trent and Duncan searched their knapsacks. And sure enough, they each had a launcher, a top, and a few cards wrapped in a foil pack in there. They put all of the stuff on, the same way Noah and Justin had, and in seconds, Trent and Duncan were ready.

"Visitors first," Justin told them.

"Very well," Duncan said in return.

He grabbed onto the ripcord that was inserted in the back end of the launcher, and prepared to pull it. He then yelled...

"**LET IT RIP!**"

"**WAIT!**"

Noah had screamed for Duncan to stop, and he did.

"You can't use that phrase."

"Why not?"

"Copyright infringement."

"Copyright infringe- fine, whatever!"

Duncan wound up again. He thought of another catch phrase to use...

"**SPIN TO WIN!**"

"**NO! NO!**"

Noah waved his hands all about. Again, Duncan halted his launch.

"You can't use that one either!"

"For crying out loud, man!" growled Duncan.

"Let me try one," Trent cut in. "Ahem..."

He went into his launch sequence, and shouted...

"**SHAKE AND BAKE!**"

"**OH, NOW YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING!**"

Trent grumbled as he turned to Duncan.

"Man, this is bogus! What are we supposed to do if we can't find a simple battle cry to use?"

"I guess we have no choice," Duncan sighed. "Mister Uptight over there is making us stoop to his level."

Duncan got into his launch stance for the third time.

"**GO, TOP!**"

He pulled out the ripcord and Duncan's top, which had black and green stripes on it, launched out and landed in the skate bowl, spinning in place, as if showing up.

"Now that's more like it!" Noah said with a smile.

In unison, Noah, Justin, and Trent, the latter of which had a tan top, all launched their tops into the bowl.

"**GO, TOP!**"

All four of their tops were now circling the bowl, just casually spinning around, none of them doing anything at all.

"Wee!" Gwen threw her hands up in a mocking fashion. "This is so much fun to watch!"

"Come **ON**!" Lindsay shouted at her, not catching Gwen's sarcasm. "Even I know this is the stupidest thing ever!"

"I think we should give 'em a chance," suggested Sierra. "How bad can this be?"

* * *

><p>Two hours later...<p>

"They've been circling each other for **TWO HOURS**!" growled Gwen. "I didn't even know they could spin for that long!"

"**TIME TO KICK IT UP A NOTCH!**" Noah suddenly yelled out of the blue.

Suddenly, holograms appeared out of the top of the spinning tops. A maniacal-looking skull projected from Duncan's, a solider with a bayonet in hand from Trent's, a steroid-enhanced wrestler out of Justin's, and a yellow pony with a cowboy hat on her head emanated from Noah's.

"Again with the ponies?" griped Duncan.

Noah then pulled the top card from the deck, and on the sidelines, Cody and the girls gasped with anticipation, hoping things were about to pick up.

"Whirling Card of Action!" Noah shouted. "Activate, Dash of Rainbow!"

A blue pony with rainbow-colored hair replaced the yellow pony, and she began flapping her wings with all her might.

"Goddamnit!"

Suddenly, Noah's top doubled its speed. It raced around the bowl, lapping Trent's and Duncan's tops, trying to generate enough wind to blow the opposition off of their bottoms.

"What the..." Trent said in shock.

"My turn!" Justin bellowed. "Whirling Card of Action!"

He drew the top card from his deck.

"Activate, Flash of Orange!"

An orange light enveloped Justin's top. It then made a sharp left turn and rammed right into Trent's top from the side. It started to tip over, and if it did, that would be the end.

"Whirling Card of Action!" proclaimed Trent, drawing a card from his deck. "Activate, Save of Tomfoolery!"

A mysterious green light illuminated Trent's top, even as it continued to lean dangerous close to its slipping point. Suddenly, a set of six spider legs appeared. Three of them reached down to and pushed off of the ground. As a result, the top righted itself, though as a result, had scrubbed some of its speed off.

"Okay!" Trent gave himself a thumbs up. "I guess that sorta makes sense."

"When has **ANYTHING** in this story made anywhere close to sense?" Duncan asked him, rhetorically.

The effects of the three cards then wore off, bringing the battle back to a spinning, circling stalemate, to the disappointment of Cody and the girls.

"All of that after just two hours?" complained Sierra.

"Watch us be here another two," predicted Gwen.

* * *

><p>Four hours later... and all the tops were still spinning...<p>

"Thanks a lot!" Gwen shook her fist at the sky. "We better be getting paid overtime for this!"

"Man, talk about wasted potential!" Cody belted out a tirade. "We couldn't settle for just plain old card games. Or card games with marbles. Heck, I would've even been fine with card games on motorcycles!"

"Card games on motorcycles?" Sierra repeated.

"**CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!**" the entire crowd screamed at the top of their lungs.

"But card games with spinning tops?" Cody continued. "Really? Who in their right mind thought that would be fun?"

Gwen chuckled. "Probably Lindsay. Right?"

She turned to Lindsay for confirmation, but she was no longer standing next to her.

"What's she doing?" Sierra suddenly asked, pointing down into the bowl.

Sure enough, Lindsay had wandered into the bowl. On purpose. And now she was dead in the center of the action, as the four tops circled around her.

"What's Lindsay doing?" Justin wondered out loud.

"**I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!**" Lindsay suddenly yelled. "**I'VE BEEN WATCHING THIS FOR SIX STRAIGHT HOURS, I FOUND AN EXTRA TWENTY DOLLARS STASHED IN MY BOOT, AND ALL THE GOOD SHOPS CLOSE IN TWO HOURS!**"

"Lindsay really should be limited to one violent outburst a season," Gwen commented, albeit a bit too late.

"**I'M ENDING THIS!**"

She then promptly kicked one of the tops with her right boot, sending it tumbling along the bowl's surface until it came to a stop on its side. Unfortunately, the top she had kicked was the black and green one.

"Nice going, genius!" Duncan shouted. "**THAT WAS MINE!**"

Noah and Justin glanced at each other, fearful for what Lindsay might do to their beloved tops.

"We surrender, we surrender!" they both shouted. "Just please don't hurt our babies!"

Both guys clapped, and in an instant, both of their tops stopped rotating. They fell over, leaving Trent's as the only one still standing. Noah and Justin ran down to pick their tops off of the ground, and as they did, Lindsay's traveling partners arrived at her side.

"We don't want any more trouble!" Noah told them.

"It's gonna take a pretty substantial bribe to get us to back off," Sierra barked. "I could've spent those six hours fondling Cody!"

"Say **WHAT**?" gasped Cody in shock.

Justin reached into his six pack of abs and pulled out a metal box, which he had stored in there. He opened it and offered the gang what was inside.

"Lost Gems of Wawanakwa?" giggled Gwen with glee. "**THREE** of them?"

Sure enough, inside was the amethyst, the sapphire, and the opal. Gwen took the case from Justin's hands, admired the gems, and then closed the case.

"Did I mention that you're my favorite model?" she smiled at Justin, batting an eyelash or two.

"**OH, NO!**" Trent, Cody, and Duncan yelled. "**WE'RE NOT MAKING THIS A FOUR-WAY!**"

The trio pulled out giant mallets and used them to blast Justin off into the stratosphere.

"**THANKS FOR NOT HITTING ME IN THE FACE!**" Justin yelled in gratitude, just before he flew out of sight.

The crowd began dispersing, and as they did...

"I've got an idea!" Lindsay cried as she snatched the case away from Gwen. "Let's trade these for something good! Like, 900 dollar sunglasses!"

Lindsay ran up and out of the bowl with the case, intending to do just that. Gwen gave chase.

"Hey! We don't have a plot without those! Lindsay!"

Cody followed, having finally gotten out of the carriage, and then came Sierra and Trent. Duncan was bringing up the rear, but before he could disappear, he was stopped by Noah.

"Take this," Noah told Duncan.

In hand, he had a card called Horn of the Sparkle of Twilight. Duncan calmly took it, and did so with a smile on his face.

"This stays between us bronies, right?"

"It better!" Duncan warned Noah, as he got serious again and started poking Noah in the chest. "Or else, guess who's getting a knuckle sandwich?"

"Fair enough."

Duncan then walked off, holding the plastic wrapped card... and licking the front of it with his tongue.

***** To be continued... *****  
><em>[if you thought this was lame, wait until next week]<em>

_Preview for Next Week's Chapter - Go to bit(dot)ly/ng48V3_


	11. Why Does Everything Want to Pork Me?

The gang was gathered around Gwen as she had open a rectangular, mahogany case... a case that had the Lost Gems of Wawanakwa in it. Or, at least, the ones that they had managed to collect.

"So we have nine of the twelve jewels," Sierra commented. "We're back on track to get them all before the end of the story!"

"And once that's done," Duncan realized, "Gwen can **FINALLY** decide which one of us she wants as her boyfriend!"

Gwen closed the case, suddenly remembering that she had to make that important choice really soon.

"Speaking of which," Cody recalled, "wasn't there some sort of points system that was keeping track of who's winning?"

"That's right!" Trent exclaimed. "We haven't seen that thing for awhile."

Gwen started to sneak away as the boys tried to figure out what the score was.

"Maybe Gwen knows. Gwen?"

Suddenly, the guys all noticed Gwen was running away, disappearing over the crest of the next hill in the road.

"**AFTER HER!**" the trio shouted simultaneously.

As they gave chase, ahead of them, Gwen was running downhill. But perhaps too quickly, as she tripped over her own feet, rolled off of the road and off a cliff that had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. She plummeted downward, into a wormhole that had generated out of thin air, with her clutching the case tightly to her body, refusing to let go no matter what fate awaited her on the other side.

"**I REGRET NOTHING!**" she yelled as she disappeared into the void.

(Let that be a lesson to you kids at home!  
>Don't run away from your problems!<br>Or else you end up falling into wormholes!)

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP  
>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

There's only three chapters left, three stones to get, still three suitors for Gwen's heart, and three cast members yet to appear this season. You might have to think way back to remember this week's debut character!

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Twenty-Four - Why Does Everything Want to Pork Me? (08.16.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

"So if she's dead, can I keep the body?"

"Gross, dude!"

"Oh, crap! She's waking up! Cody said it!"

"**WHAT?**"

"Don't be blaming my man for your potty mouth! And Cody IS my man!"

"**I LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK!**"

Gwen finally opened her eyes and looked up...

"I swear, there had better **NOT** be some freak show of a yellow thing in front of me who was named after a dairy product!"

To Gwen's relief, all she saw were her traveling companions. All real, human friends. Not imaginary ones. And underneath her was the case holding the Lost Gems of Wawanakwa, still intact despite the hard fall. Although apparently she had been poked by a couple of the edges, if the teeth-grinding pain in her lower ribs and stomach were any indication.

"What happened?"

"Forget about that!" Cody replied. "A better question is... where are we?"

Gwen finally got a good look at her surroundings, and was shocked to see that they were now in a two-dimensional world. A world which, to them, looked one-dimensional, so all the objects around them were flat as pancakes.

"Guys... I don't believe we're in Kansas anymore."

"I'd agree," Lindsay stated, as she extended a hand to help Gwen off of the ground. "But I'm pretty sure we weren't in this Kansas place when that black hole-thingy sucked us in."

"Sucked you in? I **FELL** into it!"

Duncan laughed out loud. "Falling into dangerous holes. You a danger-prone Daphne all of a sudden?"

"Shut up!"

Gwen then tried to punch Duncan in his left arm, but then she felt her ribs ache again, stopping her dead in her tracks.

"Ow!" she groaned, clutching where she was sore.

"Maybe you should take it easy," suggested Trent.

He squatted down and picked up the case off of the ground. He then walked off and inserted it into his knapsack for safekeeping.

"Yum yum yum..." it exclaimed, in Izzy's voice. "delizioso!"

"**AH!** I forgot Izzy voices the knapsacks!"

"How could you forget?" questioned Cody. "You'd think the batteries would've run out by now!"

"You know what they say," commented Lindsay. "They keep going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going..."

"Hey, **LOOK!**" Sierra interrupted, pointing just a few hundred feet ahead of them. "A cabin!"

(**MY CABIN!**)

"And it has a door! Maybe there's someone inside that can help us!"

"...and going and going and going and going..."

Sierra grabbed Cody, who in turn grabbed Lindsay, and the three made a break for the log structure. Trent and Duncan stayed by Gwen's side as she walked gingerly after the lead group.

* * *

><p>Eventually, all of them were inside, and, no surprise, everything in the building also looked one-dimensional to them.<p>

"Great!" grumbled Duncan. "We must be in some lame old video game world. You know, before graphics were invented."

"...and going and going..."

Sierra whacked Lindsay in the back of the head, which finally got the blonde to stop repeating herself. Lindsay did cease her self-looping, as she reached back and started rubbing the small welt Sierra had left. As for Sierra herself...

"At least we're safe inside this cabin..."

(**MY CABIN!**)

Sierra did not seem too kindly to being interrupted, but she could not figure out where the noise was coming from.

"Hello!" Cody called out. "Anyone here?"

He then spotted a door on the far side.

"Maybe someone's in there!"

"I hope so," winced Gwen. "Maybe they have some bandages or something."

She grasped her side again, and fell to one knee. Trent, Cody, and Duncan all ran to her side.

"You're hurt," Trent told her. "Hopefully whomever owns this will let us rest in his cabin..."

(**MYYYY CABINNNN!**)

"Yes, yes, we know, **YOURRRR CABINNNN!**" screamed Sierra. "Sheesh! Possessive much?"

"I say we shut up this joker," Duncan said as he clenched his fists. "Make fun of us, will he?"

Sierra led the way to the door, and opened it. The group walked through the door and found themselves in an all-black room. Yet they could still see each other plainly, because the entirety of their figures had been replaced by generic white male and female forms, akin to those seen on a public restroom door.

"Where are we now?" Trent asked aloud.

"And where'd all the color go?" questioned Sierra.

Lindsay gasped. "Oh my God!"

"What?" Gwen ran up to her. "What's wrong?"

"I can actually see my feet when I look down! I haven't been able to do that since I was ten!"

"She's right!" Sierra exclaimed, glancing down her one-dimensional body and being able to see the end of her one-dimensional legs. "We're flat-chested just like Gwen!"

Gwen seethed at Sierra. "I happen to like my body the way it is, thank you very much!"

"As do I!" Cody admitted without hesitation.

Cody was then promptly smacked upside the head. He turned around and frowned when he saw Sierra was the one who had done it.

"It's bad enough you're a serial stalker, but **NOW** you're a serial whacker?"

"What have I told you about eying other women, Cody? **ESPECIALLY** the home-wrecker over here!"

Gwen growled. "Not to invoke my 'new Heather' persona again, but can someone **PLEASE** whack Sierra on the head and give her amnesia? Again?"

"We're not doing role-playing games anymore, Gwen! Stop living your 'Total Drama Fantasy!'"

But then something did hit Sierra in the head. Not hard enough to knock some memories out of her head, but big enough to get her attention. She turned about to see what had dinged her, and shouted...

"**HOLY GUACAMOLE, WHAT IS THAT?**"

The object was a white, four-foot long rectangle. Suddenly, a similar looking one appeared about ten feet away. The boys ran over to that one to inspect as Sierra looked over the one that had tried to blindside her, with Lindsay and Gwen looking on.

"This looks familiar," Sierra thought out loud, "but I can't quite put my finger on where I've seen it before."

Without warning, the room began to shake. A giant wall rose out of the ground to the girls' left, and a matching one did so in tandem to the guys' left. A few seconds later, the mini-earthquake stopped.

"**GWEN!**" Trent yelled from the other side of the room. "Are you okay?"

"I think so!" Gwen shouted, even though she was now on the ground, sitting on her butt.

Lindsay reached out to help Gwen up once again, but as she did, Sierra gasped, as a flat ball appeared equidistant from the two rectangles on either end of the field.

"Now I remember!"

The ball then started moving towards the girls' side of the field.

"**PONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!**" bellowed Sierra.

"Say wha?" everyone else asked in confusion.

Sierra ran to the opposite side of her paddle and pulled it a few inches. The ball hit Sierra's paddle just off-center and it deflected at an angle, heading towards the boys' side.

"Quick," barked Cody to Trent and Duncan, "move that paddle!"

"Why should we?" Duncan asked, even as he grabbed a hold of it.

"'Cause I fear something bad will happen if we don't!"

All three started pushing the paddle as hard as they could to get it into position before the ball could get passed them. But it was struggling to move...

"We're not gonna make it!" cried Trent.

"Oh, yes we are!" exclaimed Duncan, as he kicked the paddle as hard as he could with his right foot.

The paddle flew several dozen feet and covered the needed distance to get there in time to send the ball back to where it had come from. Sierra, determined not to lose, booted the paddle towards where she believed the ball was going to end up. What she had not realized upon doing so was that Lindsay was still lifting Gwen up to a full standing position, and neither of them were aware of the danger they were in.

"**INCOMING!**" warned Sierra.

Both girls snapped to the attention, and they noted Sierra's paddle rolling quickly towards them from one direction, and the ball sliding at them from another.

"**AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!**" they both screamed, frozen in fear.

* * *

><p>(And now, another thrilling installment of...<br>Intermission with Izzy!  
>Wait... <strong>NOW?<strong> Of all times?)

"**WOOOOOO!**" squealed Izzy, as she sat down at a computer.

Noah walked in, scratching his head, as he saw Izzy get onto a torrent site.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to see if anyone has the new season of 'Total Drama' to download?"

"You **KNOW** it got delayed **AGAIN**, right?"

"**WHAT?**"

Izzy then spontaneously combusted in a giant explosion, taking out Noah, the narrator, the computer, and any land mass within 300 miles of the Great Lakes in all directions. The result left a giant hole in the continent.

* * *

><p>"<strong>WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?<strong>"

"**IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR GETTING IN THE WAY!**"

"**STOP YELLING! NO ONE CAN READ WITH ALL THESE BIG LETTERS!**"

Gwen, Sierra, and Lindsay took stock of their new surroundings, now that they were no longer in 'Pong' world. Instead, they found themselves surrounded by girders, ladders, and... a giant black ape! An ape who swooped in, grabbed Lindsay, slung her over his shoulder, and started carrying her up to the top of the structure.

"I'm king of the world!" shouted Lindsay triumphed.

"Wrong king!" Gwen corrected, but too late for Lindsay to hear her.

She then turned to Sierra, and told her...

"We have to save Lindsay!"

She then paused, taking a minute to think about what she said.

"Wow. Never thought I'd say that in my lifetime."

"Why not?" Sierra scolded. "It's not like she's Heather, new Heather!"

"Bitch later, save airhead now."

The giant ape placed Lindsay on a pedestal that rose ten feet above the highest platform, and it had no ladder. The ape climbed back down, leaving the blonde girl up there.

"Couldn't you leave me a fashion mag to read, at least?"

Meanwhile, Gwen and Sierra began the trek up the structure, heading for the top. Along their way, they found the occasional small ball of fire sliding down towards them to intercept them. They careful leaped over each other, trying to avoid getting burned.

"This couldn't get **ANY** worse!" commented Gwen.

They then saw a wooden barrel rolling down a ladder and then continuing towards them. It ran over a fireball and became engulfed in flames as it continued on without a hitch.

"Good going!" Sierra growled at Gwen sarcastically.

* * *

><p>Trent and Duncan were crawling through some grass, with the latter gripping an orange gun in his right hand.<p>

"We score one point and suddenly we're here?" questioned Trent.

"Shhhh!" shushed Duncan. "I hear something."

Suddenly, a duck appeared out of a nearby tree. It flew back and forth, as if it were taunting Duncan. In response, Duncan popped up out of the grass and fired one shot.

"Damn! Missed!"

He aimed once more, and his second shot also missed. He then tried to take a third, but by that point, the duck had flown away, out of range. Suddenly, Cody popped up about 20 feet away and just to Duncan's right, dressed in a beagle outfit... and he was laughing and pointing mockingly at Duncan.

"Hehehehehehehehe..."

"**WHAT?** I'll show you!"

Duncan aimed the gun at Cody, but for some reason nothing happened when he pulled the trigger.

"**WHY CAN'T I SHOOT THE DAMN DOG?**"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Lindsay had been saved from her captor, but the girls were now in another all-black room. Things were peaceful, until numerous rows of small alien ships appeared above them in the air.<p>

"Invaders!" pointed out Lindsay. "Possibly from space!"

The trio ran into a moving tank, which only had one weapon. A laser cannon that fired only in one direction... straight up. They ran for the controls, which consisted of one circular button, and two arrows - one pointing left and the other pointing right.

"Yeehaw! Let's bag us some aliens!" Sierra exclaimed.

Sierra pressed the button to fire her first shot...

* * *

><p>"Keep shooting!" Cody cried. "Keep shooting!"<p>

Trent and Cody were on a side-scrolling mountain path, continuously firing bullets from their assault rifles, which had unlimited ammo, while they were being fired upon by six or more soldiers at a time. The boys were dodging streams of bullets one after the other, and it seemed like a new enemy would pop up the second they took one down.

"How did people beat this game without only three lives?" asked Trent.

"They didn't!"

"Man... where's a cheat code when you need one?"

* * *

><p>"Help!" screamed Gwen. "I'm being chased by hot dogs!"<p>

Gwen was indeed telling the truth, as two five-foot tall wieners were attempting to catch her. She ran onto a piece of lettuce, but waiting for her on the other side was an equally-sized fried egg with legs, sunny side up.

"Why does everything want to pork me?"

Gwen pulled out a pepper shaker and threw it at the lecherous egg. It stopped, stunned in its tracks. Once Gwen reached the other side of the lettuce, it fell from its perch, taking the egg and the two hot dogs with it.

"That tears it!" Gwen told herself as she stopped to catch her breath. "I'm never skipping breakfast again!"

* * *

><p>Duncan was standing in a six-by-five grid, and each space had a different number in it. The screen then flashed 'multiples of 5.'<p>

"What the..."

He saw the square he was standing in it had the number 30 in it. He picked it up and involuntarily ate it on the spot.

"Okay. That was odd."

He wandered around the board, skipping past numbers like 27 and 84 and grabbing and eating ones like 10 and 75. A warning then suddenly appeared. It only had one word... 'Troggle!'

"What's a troggle?"

He made his way to the far end of the board and picked up a 25. A purple monster with crooked teeth then walked right into his space... and ate him. The screen read 'Oops! You were eaten by a Trogglus normalus. Press **SPACE BAR** to continue.'

"**THIS IS WHY I HATE MATH!**"

* * *

><p>Suddenly, Trent, Cody, Duncan, Gwen, Sierra, and Lindsay all found themselves in the same room at last. All of them were okay, and they still had all of their body parts. But the best part was...<p>

"The pain's gone!" Gwen jumped for joy. "My ribs don't hurt anymore!"

Sierra then hit Cody in the back of the head with her hand.

"Ow! What was that one for!"

"Because you were thinking about Gwen!"

"Hooray!" celebrated Lindsay. "We're back in our world!"

Suddenly, a pixilated world with green grass and darker green holes appeared around the gang.

"Awwww..." whined Lindsay. "I really thought I was right this time!"

"When are you ever right?" chided Duncan.

"Oh, come on! I'm right once in a blue moon! At least, that's what Tyler used to tell me!"

"**I FORGOT TO SAVE COURTNEY!**" Cody suddenly yelled, out of the blue.

Everyone looked at him weirdly. Finally, Sierra opened her mouth to ask.

"From what, pray tell?"

"Who cares!" Duncan blew off his ex-girlfriend. "Where in 1982 are we?"

"You're in the worst video game ever created, eh!"

The sextet shot odd glances at each other, trying to figure out who had said that.

"Can I guess?" Cody asked, before doing so anyway. "Is it Superman 64?"

"Sorry," prefaced Sierra apologetically, "but it's gotta be Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis."

"I actually think it's..." Gwen began.

"Nobody cares what you think!"

"Hey!"

"It's gotta be Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing!" shouted Lindsay. "It was supposed to involve one person racing to deliver illegal cargo in a semi. But the game had no police, the opposition never moves from the starting line, it had no collision detection, and you could drive in ways that defied the laws of physics! Who in their right mind would think..."

Lindsay stopped when she saw everyone staring at her, dumbfounded upon hearing her sound so intelligent.

"What? A friend bought it for me when it came out."

"You **SURE** she was a friend?" Gwen asked.

"Yep! No matter how many times she sicked her giant pit bulls on me! By the way, LeToya, if you're hearing this... I think the small one's pregnant. Just a hunch!"

"And that's **ANOTHER** reason why you should've voted for Bridgette, eh!" proclaimed Ezekiel as he appeared.

Gwen rolled her eyes as Ezekiel walked up to her.

"Ugh. I should've listened to Bridgette and filed a restraining order against you, just like she did."

"Those are so hard to enforce," interjected Sierra. "Just sayin'!"

"Ezekiel!" Trent finally got the story on point. "Are you responsible for making us go through of all of these classic games?"

Duncan scoffed. "Hello! Since when is **THIS** a classic? I remember what this is... we're in E.T.: The Game! The **WORST** video game of all time!"

"You know it's not that bad once you get into it, eh!" Ezekiel shot back in defense.

"Oh yeah? How 'bout you get into it?"

He picked Ezekiel up, holding him up over his head, and walked to the edge of the nearest well, or pit.

"And by it, I mean the well!"

Duncan threw Ezekiel in.

"**AAAAAAAAHHHHH!**" he screamed as he disappeared into the dark recesses of the hole.

"Try to phone home from down there, you turd!"

"Great," Gwen had her arms crossed over her chest as she glared at Duncan, "he could've helped us get out of here! Did you THINK about THAT before you threw him in there?"

"Oh, thanks! I'll remember that next time, new Courtney!"

Gwen responded to that insult by pushing Duncan into the nearest well. A different one than Ezekiel's, but they all looked the same anyway.

"**AAAAAAAAHHHHH!**"

"You know he'll find a way out of there, right?" Trent told Gwen.

"Eh," she shrugged, "I know. He still wants me."

"Yeah, but... so do I!"

"As do I!" Cody added.

Sierra tried to hit Cody for the fourth time today, but this time, he ducked underneath her arm and she swung around. Unfortunately, her force and momentum was so great that it carried her off the edge and into a third well, identical in shape and size to the first two.

"**AAAAAAAAHHHHH!**"

Once her screaming had stopped, the others reacted.

"We should really get out of here," suggested Trent, noting how dangerous it was for them to stay.

Cody, Gwen, and Lindsay nodded in agreement, and the foursome started to exit, screen right, moving carefully to avoid stumbling into one of the other dozens of identical wells.

***** To be continued... *****  
><em>[everyone go down the hooooooole]<em>

_Preview for Next Week's Chapter - Go to bit(dot)ly/nVtEi2_


	12. Three Way Split Screen!

The gang was still walking around a two-dimensional game world, making their way along a path in a dense forest as they tried to find their way back to the real world.

"I think we're lost," Cody finally commented.

[Cody gained 1 point!]

"Finally!" Gwen said with a smile. "A guy who admits he's lost!"

"Cody's never lost!" Sierra stood up for him by squeezing him in a tight hug. "Never with me around!"

"Dude," Duncan growled at Cody. "Man Rule 37! Never, **EVER** admit to anyone, **ESPECIALLY A GIRL**, that you're lost!"

[Duncan lost 1 point!]

"But it's not entirely bad to admit you're wrong once in awhile."

[Cody gained 1 point!]

"I mean it, geek! Especially when you're around these parts!"

[Duncan lost 1 point!]

Duncan ignored the signal and kept on going.

"Just saying the words 'I'm lost' attracts unwanted attention!"

Suddenly, a blue mouse with yellow cheeks crossed the gang's path. It waddled up to the gang, and recited its name.

"Pikablu!"

Instantly, Lindsay reacted to the creature the only way she knew how.

"**OH MY GOSH! IT'S LIKE THE CUTEST THING EVER!**"

Duncan, though, had a different reaction, as he pulled out a lighter and said, nonchalantly...

"Kill it with fire."

(10 agonizing minutes later...)

The entire gang just gawked at the entire forest burning down before their very eyes. Luckily, they were observing it from a hill overlooking it.

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP**  
><strong>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

Time for the most iconic video game characters of all time, as portrayed by the boys!

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Twenty-Five - Three-Way Split Screen! (08.23.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

(At some later point in time...)

The gang was now riding in a stretch limousine, heading to an unknown location. That is, unknown to everyone except for Gwen...

"So I finally figured out how to determine which one of you guys I should go out with!"

The three boys leaned forward in anticipation. Sierra, though, had another pressing issue that needed to be addressed.

"How did you afford to rent a limo?"

Gwen shrugged. "Rent? I bought it after I won the lottery last week."

"**WHAT?**"

* * *

><p>Gwen was sitting in front of a TV, holding a lottery ticket in front of her. Though she was also stunned silent, with her jaw hanging wide open, as the announcer repeated the winning numbers.<p>

(Once again, that's 4, 8, 15, 16, and 23, and the powerball is 42!)

* * *

><p>Everyone, except for Lindsay, who was looking out the window and off in her little daydream, now had stunned looks on their faces. Gwen took a few seconds to plant their reactions in her memories, and then she broke out in hysterical laughter.<p>

"**A HA HA HA! YOU SHOULD SEE THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES! YOU ALL THOUGHT I HAD REALLY WON, DIDN'T YOU?**"

The foursome snapped out of it, their disappointed and displeased faces telling it all.

"I should've known that was a fib," Sierra finally spoke up. "What woman would want a husband when she's filthy rich?"

"Gee, Gwen," Trent said with concern. "I've never seen this side of you. Are you okay?"

"What are you talking about?" Gwen looked at him, confused. "I've never felt better in my life! Especially now that I can finally end this little 'contest' and move on with my life!"

"So how's this gonna work, babe?" Duncan asked.

"You'll see. LeShawna's got it all worked out."

"LeShawna?" Cody gasped. "Then you mean this is **HER** limo?"

"Ooh, ooh!" interrupted Lindsay, bouncing up and down on her seat even as she continued to look out the window. "So that means that **THAT** is her castle!"

"You said **WHAT** now?" Sierra shouted.

The limo began its ascent up the driveway, and upon looking out the windows, the entire gang saw the large, majestic castle before them, which was surrounded by a moat with a drawbridge that was already down. They also saw LeShawna waving hello to them, dressed in a beautiful tan-colored princess gown.

* * *

><p>LeShawna led the crew to the inner chambers of her castle. Guiding them down a hall illuminated only by torches, they eventually reached the end, where three doors awaited them.<p>

"We're here, ya'll!"

LeShawna stepped aside, while Trent, Cody, and Duncan moved to the head of the pack. They looked at the doors, each of which had a plaque with a symbol on it. The door to the left had a ring, the one in the middle had an apple, and the one to the right had a coin.

"Out of the way!" shouted Duncan, shoving Cody to the ground.

Duncan ran for the door on the left. Trent casually strutted to the center door. Cody got up from the floor and saw that the only choice left was the one on the right. So he had no choice but to go stand in front of that one.

"I don't understand," Lindsay said out loud, "how does standing in front of a door decide who Gwen's boyfriend should be?"

"It doesn't!" Sierra snapped at her. "It's what's **BEHIND** the doors that will decide it!"

"Exactly, girlfriend!" LeShawna confirmed.

In unison, the three boys put a hand on their respective doorknobs. They all then looked back, taking one last glance back at Gwen.

"Gwen **WILL** be mine!" all three of them declared simultaneously.

They then all turned their knobs, and their doors opened. They each stepped inside, and once they were clear, the doors automatically closed behind them.

"So now what?" questioned Sierra. "Do we wait for them to come back?"

"Better!" replied LeShawna. "Why wait to hear the results when we can watch them live, baby!"

She pulled a small, one-button controller out of her dress and aimed it at the wall to the girls' right. She pressed a button, and instantly a portion of the wall began to rise upwards. It was a secret passageway, which led them into...

"A secret theater!" exclaimed Sierra.

The three girls were gawking in awe as LeShawna pointed out the large 60-inch screen TV, a popcorn cart, a fountain that spit out soda instead of water, and one single row of five red reclining chairs.

"Some may call this a man cave," LeShawna said aloud, "but I call this the WHOA-man cave!"

"What makes it a **WHOA**-man cave?" asked Gwen.

She quickly got her answer, as a staff of manicurists, pedicurists, massage therapists, and hairstylists all showed up on cue.

"**WHOA!**"

"Told ya!"

* * *

><p>Soon afterwards, they were all being waited on by the attendants. Lindsay was getting her nails done, while Sierra was receiving a full body massage. LeShawna was getting her hair done, while Gwen was content with just a simple foot rub.<p>

"Aaahhhh..." sighed Gwen. "I forgot why we even came here."

LeShawna suddenly clapped her hands, and a butler showed up with a tray in hand. It had a remote control on it, which he picked up and used to turn on the TV. The boys appeared on the screen, which was equally split into three parts, and it was then that...

"Oh, now I remember," deadpanned Gwen.

"Chill, girl!" LeShawna assured her. "If they all fail, you still get to live it up like a single lady! Plus you get to hang out here and experience more of this!"

"We should give them a chance, though. Otherwise, we've done these 25 episodes for nothing."

"I suppose you're right."

The butler pressed a button, which modified the screen so that now only Duncan was on. She pressed another one, this one rectangular in shape and labeled 'start,' to begin the challenge...

* * *

><p>(For those of you confused at home, allow me to explain!<br>Each of the boys has been placed in a popular platformer!  
>The first person to complete their game will be declared the winner and get to put their hands in Gwen's pants.<p>

Is it just me, or is she still oblivious to that last part?)

The music began playing for the Green Hill Zone as Duncan appeared at the start of the level. The iconic pure green grass, brown checkered soil, and palm trees aplenty were all present. As were the numerous robots that had been planted to stop Duncan in his tracks. Luckily, he had some tricks of his own as Duncan was now a slightly pudgy blue hedgehog with red sneakers.

"Dude! What the heck am I? A porcupine?"

(A hedgehog!)

His mood became more pleasant, though, when he started running and discovered how fast he was.

"Alright!"

He jumped in the air, picked up a few rings, and then ran into a Motobug. He was stopped instantly as he fell backwards, losing all his rings in the process.

"I can run at the speed of sound, but I can't run through baddies? Lame!"

* * *

><p>Back in the 'observation' theater...<p>

"Hmmm..." LeShawna commented, "I thought he'd like this more."

"So what about the others?" Gwen wondered. "Can we check in on them?"

"Of course, sugar!"

LeShawna gestured to her butler, who changed the channel...

* * *

><p>Trent had found that he had been changed into an animal too. But at least he was one that wore pants - blue jeans, to be exact. The music of N. Sanity Beach began playing in the background.<p>

"Can somebody tell me what I am?" Trent asked aloud.

(You're a bandicoot.)

"A what? That sounds made-up!"

Despite that, Trent picked himself up from the sand and started running away from the beach and into the jungle. He found some crates and instinctively knew to spin like a mini-tornado in order to break them. He found some Wumpa Fruit in them and collected them all.

"This doesn't sound so ba- **AAH! MEDIUM-SIZED CRAB!**"

A medium-sized crab patrolled back and forth from one side of the path to the other. He tried to think of way to get past it.

"I wonder... what if I..."

He spun around again and barreled into the crab. On contact, the crustacean was sent flying out of sight.

"Okay. I'll go with it."

* * *

><p>Trent continued on as the girls watched his progress.<p>

"Enough with Trent!" shouted Sierra. "Change the channel!"

"Yeah!" bellowed Lindsay. "I wanna see Tyler in action!"

"Tyler's not even here," LeShawna reminded her.

"Forget Tyler," interrupted Sierra. "I wanna see if my Cody-kins is okay!"

With that, the butler used the remote to change to Cody's channel.

* * *

><p>(World 1-1!<br>Cody x3)

The overworld music began playing as Cody, who actually stayed human, started down the path, heading right for the first set of brick and question mark blocks, along with an enemy Goomba.

"The **ORIGINAL** Super Mario Brothers game? How awesome is this!"

He hit the first question mark block and then ran... straight into the Goomba... and died.

(World 1-1  
>Cody x2)<p>

* * *

><p>"<strong>WAY TO GO, CODY!<strong>" Sierra cheered. "**THROW THIS CHALLENGE! YOU KNOW GWEN'S A HUSSY!**"

"Hello!" Gwen waved at her. "Sitting right here!"

"Why is Cody even doing this? Cody and me are together! Stop trying to steal my husband!"

"I keep telling you, you two are **NOT** married!"

"I've touched his underwear, so in certain cultures, we **ARE**!"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

As Sierra and Gwen continued to argue, Lindsay walked over to LeShawna.

"Um... may I go to the bathroom?"

LeShawna sighed. "Why not? Don't think those two will stop bickerin' any time soon."

She pointed out the door and gave her instructions.

"Through there, back up to the first floor. Make two lefts, then three rights. It's at the end of the hall."

"Got it!"

Lindsay left the room as Sierra and Gwen continued to have their argument, while LeShawna turned her attention back to the screen.

* * *

><p>Duncan the Hedgehog had hit a snag as he had made it to the Labyrinth Zone...<p>

"Ack... water!"

And was trying to get through it...

"Ack... spear!"

Was trying to get through it...

"Ack... stupid floating ball that throws stupid spiky balls at you!"

(Cue the drowning music!)

"What? How do I keep from drowning?"

Duncan looked for a way to save himself, and then he saw air bubbles rising from the floor. He made his way over, his progress slow because of his inability to move fast underwater, and waited for one big enough to form so he could breath in some oxygen. Finally, one appeared. He jumped up and opened his mouth to inhale it...

And then he ran out of air.

"Blub blub blub blub..."

(Translation: "Ack... stupid everything!")

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Trent the Bandicoot was in a temple of sorts, jumping from platform to platform, ones that went all sorts of ways. They moved up and down, side to side, in a circle, and came in and out of the walls.<p>

"How many of these things can there be in a single level?" he asked aloud.

He jumped across a few platforms spread across a huge gap, and then answered his own question.

"That's at least 25 dozen."

He reached another gap with three more floating platforms, and began to make his way across. But he did not notice the medium-sized lizard on the other side, who started to jump towards him.

Oh, wait...

"**AAH! MEDIUM-SIZED LIZ-**"

It then hit him, and Trent died instantly.

"Starting to hate video gamessssss..." he yelled as he fell off the screen.

* * *

><p>(World 4-4<br>Cody x4)

"Run through the middle..." Cody told himself.

Cody dropped down one level and carefully made his way past the firebars above and below him. He reached the end, dropped down, and got to a set of stair-like platforms, which he jumped up. He then found himself deciding whether to stay on top, drop through the first gap to get to the lower level, or fall down the second hole to the get to the middle level.

"Run through the middle..." Cody told himself.

Cody dropped down one level and carefully made his way past the firebars above and below him. He reached the end, dropped down, and got to a set of stair-like platforms, which he jumped up. He then found himself deciding whether to stay on top, drop through the first gap to get to the lower level, or fall down the second hole to the get to the middle level.

"Man, this is a long castle! Okay, run through the middle..."

Cody dropped down one level and carefully made his way past the firebars...

* * *

><p>Speaking of being in a maze, back at the castle, Lindsay had finally emerged on the first floor.<p>

"Okay," Lindsay tried to remember the directions. "LeShawna said make two lefts, then three rights."

She took one step to her left, then stopped.

"Or... was it two rights, then three lefts?"

* * *

><p>"Hush, you two! They're on their final levels!"<p>

LeShawna tried to get Gwen and Sierra to hush, as they were still having a debate over whether Cody and Sierra were actually married or not.

"I'll table this debate as long as Cody doesn't win!" exclaimed Sierra.

"Agreed," Gwen said in response.

* * *

><p>"Okay, Final Zone!" Duncan said. "Bring it on, Robotnik!"<p>

* * *

><p>"Time for the final stand," Trent told himself. "Where are you, Cortex?"<p>

* * *

><p>(World 8-4<br>Cody x2)

"Alright, Koopa!" Cody shouted as he approached the bridge. "My princess **BETTER** be in this castle!"

* * *

><p>"Time to go three-way split-screen!" LeShawna shouted.<p>

The butler obliged his highness' request, and now all three could be seen taking on their final challenges.

* * *

><p>Duncan the Hedgehog found himself amidst a series of piston pods that either rose from the ground or dropped from the ceiling. Trent Bandicoot landed on a platform, then turned to see his nemesis floating towards him in a flying machine. As for Super Cody, nothing extraordinary as he reached a collapsible bridge over lava.<p>

"Just watch the patterns!" all three thought aloud.

Their adversaries then appeared, and instead of the normal villains the characters they were portraying had, they had been replaced by those with a certain host's face on it.

"Is that... **CHRIS?**" they all asked in unison.

Chris McLeannik rose out from the floor and crushed Duncan against the ceiling before he could react. Doctor Neo McLean fired a pink laser from his blaster, which killed Trent instantly. Chris Koopa threw three hammers, a miss, then five more. Cody tried to squeeze in the gap, but Koopa filled it with a fireball... and Cody died.

* * *

><p>"Am I dreamin'," LeShawna gasped, "or do I see three Chrises?"<p>

"We might not have a winner after all," commented Sierra, though she was not sure how that made her feel.

"Well," shrugged Gwen, "I guess I'm gonna be single after they all meet their doom."

"Or we could do a **SEASON THREE!**"

Gwen pointed angrily at Sierra.

"Don't **DARE** give the author any ideas!"

* * *

><p>Lindsay passed numerous doors on either side of her as she continued down the hallway...<p>

"So by four rights, did LeShawna mean make four right turns, or that it was the fourth door on my right? Oh, wait... the fourth door on **HER** right? But which way's her right?"

* * *

><p>"They're down to their final lives, ya'll!"<p>

Each of the guys began their final boss battle for the last time. Duncan dodged Chris' first smash attempt, then clocked him in the side before he could lower back into his pod.

"Take that, McButtnik!"

Meanwhile, Chris had fired upon Trent again. He fired a pink laser, then a second, and then a green one. Trent spun the green one back at Chris, and it hurt him, zapping part of his energy.

"Alright! I can bounce back the green ones!"

As for Cody, he sat at the far end of the bridge, trying to find a pattern in the hammers that he could exploit without leaping face-first into a fireball.

"Gotta get to the axe. Gotta get to the axe!"

The girls watched to see who would finish first. Duncan pounded away at his Chris, Trent continued to deflect green laser beams, and Cody continue to just stand there, waiting for an opening.

And then...

"**THERE!**" all three said simultaneously.

Cody charged in, jumped through a gap in Chris' hammers, then ducked under a fireball, and ran underneath Chris while he was in mid-air. Meanwhile, Chris fired one last, lone green laser at Trent, while Duncan charged at Chris to hit his dropping pod.

Then, without warning, the TV died, and the screen went black.

"**NOOOOO!**" Gwen and Sierra screamed in tandem.

"No worries," LeShawna told them. "We can still find out who won..."

* * *

><p>"...by seeing who emerges first!"<p>

Gwen, LeShawna, and Sierra were now back in front of the three doors, waiting to see which one would open first.

(Oh, come on! Like we don't know how this is going to end!)

As if a surprise to the girls, all three doors opened at the same time, and Duncan, Trent, and Cody all ran out, all back in their normal clothes - and, more importantly, all human.

"I win!" they all shouted before turning to glare at each other. "You? I won! Not you! I did! Gwen is mine! Me, me, me!"

"Hold up!" Gwen waved her hands about as she came across to break up the fight. "As the 'prize' in all of this, I feel that I should make the final decision."

"Wait!" Trent spoke up. "Before you do so, Gwen, allow me to help with your decision."

Trent reached into his pocket and pulled out... a diamond!

"Trent," Gwen blushed. "It... it's beautiful!"

"Now, hold on!" Duncan cut in. "He's not the only one with a present!"

Duncan pulled out an emerald and offered it to Gwen.

"Wow! An emerald? Duncan, you shouldn't ha-"

"I, too, have a jewel of considerable value!" declared Cody.

"Cody!" screamed Sierra. "**NO!**"

"**YES!**" Cody said, as he produced an aquamarine.

"Man, this is getting good!" LeShawna said as she pulled out a tub of popcorn. "What else could happen?"

"**CHRIS IS IN THE HOUSE!**"

Chris emerged from the door that Cody had come through, and he had someone with him...

"And I'm his friend, Jesus!" Izzy declared, dressed up like the apostle himself.

"Not now, you two!" Sierra pushed them aside. "We're about to find out who Gwen picked... and for her sake, it had better **NOT** be Cody!"

Gwen eyed her choices one at a time - first, the shy, eyes-looking away Trent. Then, the nervous, shaking so hard as if he was dancing Cody. And finally, the smirking, overconfident Duncan.

"My choice is..."

She snapped her fingers, and the final scoreboard appeared...

[Scoreboard: Trent 25, Cody 25, Duncan 25]

"Sorry, guys," apologized Gwen, "but I just can't make up my mind!"

"Well," LeShawna remarked, "looks like Gwen can't decide which guy should be hers! Can **YOU**?"

LeShawna pointed at the screen, directly at the readers. But when you saw things from her perspective, it turned out that she was actually pointing... at Chris.

"Yeah, I'll give it a shot. I mean, you know, it's my job, right?"

***** To be concluded... *****  
><em>[there will be a winner<br>even if it's gwen]_


	13. Oh, Gwen

The lights came up in a bottomless well. Geoff appeared, plummeting down into the aforementioned hole. But he seemed calm about it...

"Are these settings okay? Yes? No? Watch cat video?"

(Why would you even...)

YouTube video of one cat closing the lid of a box a second cat was in and trapping him in said box by sitting on the top of it played on the screen.

(**WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!**)

_-[Insert theme song here!]-_

**Total Drama VGP**  
><strong>Story Written by Freedom Fighter<strong>

Party game time! It's the only way to figure out whom Gwen should be with (or if she should be single)... with the help of your votes, of course! Prepare for a lot of celebration!

**Disclaimer:** The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. All songs used are property of the respective owners and such.

**-**  
><strong>Chapter Twenty-Six - Oh, Gwen... (09.05.11)<strong>  
><strong>-<strong>

Trent, Cody, Duncan, and Gwen were standing on a large cloud high in the sky - and not falling through it, surprisingly - when suddenly Chris appeared... wearing a red koopa troopa shell.

"Well," Chris said as he smacked his lips, "it's still preferable to being dead. Speaking of which... **THANKS FOR NOT CARING FOR TWELVE WEEKS!**"

"Can we just get on with this?" Gwen grumbled. "If I'm gonna lose you-know-what, it has to be by six. I've got Blue Jays tickets."

All of the guys shot her looks of disbelief.

"What?" she shrugged. "Bridge won 'em in a raffle, and with Geoff having a schedule conflict, someone has to go with her."

"A-ny-way," Chris griped, "you weenies couldn't decide who gets to pork Gwen, and she did not want to pursue the 'screw you all' option."

Cody and Duncan both raised their hands...

"And, no, I will **NOT** clarify that statement! You draw your own conclusions!"

The two boys dropped their hands, and Chris pulled out a bunch of index cards to read from.

"So we're at Rainbow Raceway, which is made up of numerous rainbows, including two... no one cares. Let's decide turn order!"

A dice block appeared above each of the four players' heads. They each hit the blocks, even Gwen. From left-to-right, they had rolled a 4, a 7, a 5, and a 2.

"So Cody is first, Duncan is second, Trent is third, and Gwen is fourth. That will be the order of turns. Last, a present from me. 10 coins for each of you! Use them wisely, my friends! Now... go get those Gilded Chrises! Which we're using instead of Stars. Because I still have half-stake in this fanfic. Move it!"

* * *

><p>"Alright, dudes!" Geoff exclaimed as he appeared somewhere on the game board. "I have the first Gilded Chris! Come and get it!"<p>

* * *

><p>The game began. Cody rolled first, getting a 4 and landing on a blue space, which he received three coins from. Duncan rolled a 7, was forced to turn right at a junction, stopping at the entrance to the rainbow-clad race track. Trent rolled a 9, as he followed and passed Duncan, and actually stopped on the track. Last was Gwen, who rolled a 5. Unlike the boys, though, she landed on a red square, which took three coins away from her.<p>

"Yep. Someone wants to see me screwed."

"**IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!**" yelled Duncan off-screen.

(1 vs 3 Game!  
>Hide and Go BOOM!)<p>

* * *

><p>The boys appeared on a castle wall. Four cannons, each with a fuse coming out of it, were positioned on the edge, pointing outwards. Gwen was standing with an unlit torch at the start of the fuses, and with her were Beth, Justin, and LeShawna - each with a lit torch.<p>

"I don't like where this is going..." gulped Cody.

Gwen and the Torch trio, turned around, and the boys had five seconds to pick a cannon and get in it. Once they were hidden, LeShawna explained the rules.

"Alright, girl! Four cannons, three torches to lit the fuses! Blast the boys away before you run out of fuses, and you win!"

Gwen smirked. "Time for some payback!"

(**START!**)

Beth passed her torch to Gwen. She then lit cannon number 2. The fuse burned to its end, and... the cannon sputtered. Nothing.

"Crap."

Justin stepped up to hand his torch to Gwen. This time, she picked cannon number 4. She lit it, and...

**BOOM!**

"**AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!**" screamed Cody and Duncan as they went flying off into the distance.

"Yes," Gwen pumped her fist exuberantly. "Just need to find Trent."

LeShawna had the last torch. Two cannons left. 1 and 3. 50-50 chance. Gwen took the torch, and lit the fuse for number 1...

**BOOM!**

"**NOOOOOOOOO!**" Trent yelled as he blasted off.

(**FINISH!**  
>Gwen wins!)<p>

[Standings: Gwen 0 GC, 17 C - Trent/Cody/Duncan 0 GC, 13 C]

* * *

><p>Before the next turn could start, the junction walls on the board flipped, closing one pathway while allowing access to the other.<p>

(The track gates have been switched!)

Cody rolled a 10, made a left at the junction, and stopped short of a bridge going over the rainbow track. Duncan also got a 10. He walked onto the track, all the way to the end of the path, and then off of it, and into the cloud-laden infield. Trent rolled a 2, but that was not enough to get him off the track. Gwen got a measly one and moved up to the junction point.

(4-Player Game!  
>Bumper Balls)<p>

* * *

><p>This game was simple. All four players rode their own individual balls on a circular platform. The objective was to knock everyone else off and into the water in 60 seconds.<p>

(**START!**)

The four started rolling around. Each time two balls collided, they would bounce backwards a little bit. It did not take long for Cody to screw up and get cornered. Gwen tried to avoid him, but she got bumped by Duncan, and in turn, was bounced into Cody, who went over. As Cody was taken away by a Blooper, Duncan continued to hound Gwen, and eventually, he bounced her into the drink. That left it down to Duncan and Trent. Duncan rolled up some speed before taking on Trent. With all of the momentum, Trent quickly ran out of room on the platform, and eventually he too was bumped into the water.

(**FINISH!**  
>Duncan wins!)<p>

[Standings: Duncan 0 GC, 26 C - Gwen 0 GC, 20 C - Trent/Cody 0 GC, 16 C]

* * *

><p>(The track gates have been switched!)<p>

Cody rolled a 1, which put him on the overlook bridge. Duncan got an 8, crossed the first bridge over the second portion of track, and stopped on an exclamation point, which meant...

* * *

><p>(<strong>CHANCE TIME!<strong>)

Three spinning blocks appeared above Duncan's head. The outer ones had the head silhouettes of the four players, while the middle one was the 'exchange' block, which would decide what got traded. He hit them in order, from left to right, got himself, 10 coins to the right, and Gwen. Chris came out to announce the results.

"It's been decided! Duncan will give 10 coins to Gwen!"

The exchange occurred. Gwen raised her arms in triumph, while Duncan cursed under his breath.

* * *

><p>Trent rolled a 3 on his turn; Gwen got an 8. As a result, they ended up landing on the same space.<p>

"Hey..." Trent scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Hey..." Gwen did the same in return.

(4-Player Game!  
>Cheep Cheep Chase)<p>

* * *

><p>Another simple game. The four were swimming in a sewer, being chased by a large Cheep Cheep, being played by Owen. The goal, to reach the finish line first or avoid being eaten longer than the other players.<p>

(**START!**)

The swim began! Unfortunately, Cody was not paying attention and he got eaten by Owen almost immediately. The remaining trio kept going. They dived under one set of mines designed to slow them down, then another, then another. But Owen was increasing in size and swimming a tad faster every time something went in his mouth. Duncan ended up hitting a mine and fell dangerously close to being swallowed, but he kept going.

Eventually, Gwen reached the end first, and stepped onto land. As 'punishment' for losing, Owen ate Trent and Duncan.

(**FINISH!**  
>Gwen wins!)<p>

[Standings: Gwen 0 GC, 43 C - Trent/Cody/Duncan 0 GC, 19 C]

* * *

><p>(The track gates have been switched!)<p>

Cody moved 3. Duncan rolled a 4, but stopped short when he ran into Heather...

* * *

><p>"I can steal stuff for you!" Heather told Duncan. "What will it be? Steal coins for free? Steal a Gilded Chris for 50 coins? Or do nothing?"<p>

"Steal coins!" Duncan smirked.

"And from whom? Cody, Trent, or Gwen?"

"Gwen!"

"Alright! Be right back!"

A few seconds after pilfering from Gwen, Heather returned and gave her haul to Duncan... four coins.

* * *

><p>Duncan resumed moving, and was right at the gate leading to the second portion of track... on which the star was located. Trent and Gwen did their rolls, nothing special... mini-game time!<p>

(4-Player Game!  
>Note to Self)<p>

* * *

><p>Three balls, each with a musical note on it, were bouncing around an enclosed brick room with the four players. 30-second time limit, player who hits the most note balls wins.<p>

(**START!**)

30 seconds later, the person with the highest score was...

(**FINISH!**  
>Cody wins!)<p>

[Standings: Gwen 0 GC, 42 C - Cody 0 GC, 32 C - Duncan 0 GC, 26 C - Trent 0 GC, 22 C]

* * *

><p>(The track gates have been switched!)<p>

Cody rolled a 2 and landed on a red space. Duncan rolled a 3 and landed on a green space with a '?' on it. Suddenly, the sounds of go-karts could be heard. Duncan then freaked out when Izzy appeared, driving towards him. He was forced to run for his life as Izzy chased him. He managed to avoid getting ran over, but he could not get off the track until he was on the other side... behind the other players on the board.

"That bitch is crazy!" remarked Duncan.

Trent rolled a 5 and ended up on a bridge. Gwen got a 9 and passed him, turned at the junction, and stopped on another bridge... and on a red space. A random draw assigned Duncan red, so...

(1 vs 3 Game!  
>Look Away)<p>

* * *

><p>Music played in the background. For the person on the one-side, he had to turn his head to look in one of five directions - up, down, left, right, or straight ahead - and when the music stopped, any of the trio looking the same way as him was out. Trent had five turns to knock the other team.<p>

(**START!**)

In round one, Trent glanced left, but did not get anybody. The same in round two. In round three, he looked up - as did Duncan and Gwen, knocking both of them out. Trent just had to get Cody, but failed in each of the last two rounds, the last ending with Trent looking down and Cody straight ahead.

(**FINISH!**  
>Cody, Duncan, Gwen win!)<p>

[Standings: Gwen 0 GC, 49 C - Cody 0 GC, 39 C - Duncan 0 GC, 36 C - Trent 0 GC, 25 C]

* * *

><p>(And now, another thrilling installment of...<br>Intermission with Izzy!  
>Sitting in for Izzy this week... Chris?)<p>

"No need for Intermission with Izzy!" Chris exclaimed. "We're down to the last five turns! I wonder what the standings are now!"

The standings were shown on screen.

"Who will win? Hmmm... my prediction is that **CODY** will win! Also, from now until the end of the game, both blue spaces and red spaces will be worth twice as much! This is the homestretch, people! Who will get in Gwen's pants... or can she keep them on? Go, people, **GO!**"

* * *

><p>(The track gates have been switched!)<p>

Cody, Duncan, and Trent all took their turns, rolling a 9, a 10, and an 8, respectively. Trent's roll took him by Heather...

* * *

><p>"I can steal stuff for you!" Heather told Trent.<p>

Trent decided to have Heather take coins from Duncan. She came back with seven coins, to Trent's delight.

* * *

><p>"Gimme something good..." Gwen said aloud.<p>

She rolled a 2, and landed on a space with Alejandro's face on it. Cue evil cackling...

* * *

><p>"Oh, Gwen... it's time to play a game!"<p>

Gwen gulped as she approached Alejandro and a roulette appeared. It stopped on 'Coins for Alejandro.'

"Magnifico! Now, gimme your coins!"

Gwen shook her head as Alejandro took 30 coins from her.

* * *

><p>Back on the map, the next mini-game was Gwen against the boys again.<p>

(1 vs 3 Game!  
>Stage Fright)<p>

* * *

><p>In this game, each of the boys were on platforms that moved from side to side. They were all facing a stage, where Gwen was standing. They had an unlimited supply of rubber balls, but only 30 seconds, to hit Gwen once. Cody was closest to the stage, followed by Trent, then Duncan. Katie, Sadie, Lindsay, and Eva were all present to watch the carnage unfold.<p>

(**START!**)

The boys threw as many balls as they could, trying to cover as much of the stage as possible. Gwen ran back and forth, escaping with one near miss after another. But, eventually...

"**AAAAAAHHHHH!**"

She got hit and was flung off the stage after one of Trent's balls hit her with just four seconds left.

(**FINISH!**  
>Cody, Duncan, Trent win!)<p>

[Standings: Cody 0 GC, 55 C - Trent 0 GC, 48 C - Duncan 0 GC, 45 C - Gwen 0 GC, 19 C]

* * *

><p>(The track gates have been switched!)<p>

Cody rolled a 10. First up was going by Heather...

* * *

><p>"I can steal..."<p>

"Yeah, yeah..."

"**DON'T CUT ME OFF!**"

Heather was commanded to steal from Duncan, and she returned to Cody with eight coins in hand.

* * *

><p>...and then it was onto the racetrack and over to Geoff...<p>

"**WOW!**" he exclaimed. "I've got a Gilded Chris! Willing to trade Coins for a Gilded Chris?"

"**OF COURSE!**"

"Okay, here's your Gilded Chris!"

Cody paid 20 Coins to obtain the game's first Gilded Chris.

"Woo hoo! I'm the best!"

* * *

><p>"Alright, dudes and dudettes, let me show where to get the next Gilded Chris!"<p>

Geoff relocated to a new location, a few spaces past the starting line.

"Come get your Gilded Chris, right here, folks!"

* * *

><p>...Cody finished his move, coming off the track and back into the infield, near the starting line. Duncan was next. He rolled a 6, jumping onto the track overpass and landing on a red space. Trent rolled a 4... and landed on the same '?' on the track that Duncan had earlier...<p>

"**I HAVE NO BRAKES, EH!**"

Ezekiel appeared, speeding on the track. He chased Trent off, and suddenly he was back on the other side. Meanwhile, Gwen rolled a 5.

"I feel good!" Cody said, as he winked at Gwen.

After a coin flip, Trent was assigned red, which meant...

(2 vs 2 Game!  
>Pyramid Scheme)<p>

* * *

><p>The players were split into pairs. Cody and Gwen were the red team, while Duncan and Trent were the blue. Coins were raining down from the sky, and the teams, each holding a crate together, must move around to catch as many coins as possible.<p>

(**START!**)

The red team was working together well, moving about and trying to take up room in the crowded chamber. The blue team managed to get some coins, but the red team cashed in by catching both of the money bags, each of which had 5 Coins in them.

When time was called, the red team had 15 coins, while the blue team had just 5.

(**FINISH!**)

[Standings: Cody 1 GC, 64 C - Trent 0 GC, 53 C - Gwen 0 GC, 40 C - Duncan 0 GC, 36 C]

* * *

><p>(The track gates have been switched!)<p>

Cody rolled a 6. He ended up meeting Chris at the starting line.

"Hey!" Chris exclaimed. "For getting back to the starting line, I'm rewarding you with a 20 Coin bonus!"

Cody took the 20 coins, then completed his move. He stopped one spot short of Geoff. Duncan rolled a 5, Trent an 8, and Gwen a 7. Gwen got her bonus for completing a lap, and she stopped two spaces short of Geoff. Two turns left after the next mini-game...

(4-Player Game!  
>Night Light Fright)<p>

* * *

><p>The four players were in their respective dark alleys, with a giant Chain Chomp at the entrance, being ridden by Harold. The Chain Chomps obey Harold's command, each moving at a different speed and starting and stopping at will. The Chain Chomps must stop when a player shined his or her flashlight on it. Whomever's Chain Chomp is closest without being chomped themselves wins.<p>

(**START!**)

The four waited nervously as they heard their individual Chain Chomps bounce ever closer. Unable to stand the suspense, Gwen turned around to freeze hers - 6.2 yards away. A few seconds later, Cody turned, stopping his 2.4 yards out. Trent was next, but he was too late, and he got sent flying. Duncan turned at the exact same time as Trent, but his was not on him yet. Duncan stopped his 1.3 yards away.

(**FINISH!**  
>Duncan wins!)<p>

[Standings: Cody 1 GC, 90 C - Gwen 0 GC, 66 C - Trent 0 GC, 59 C - Duncan 0 GC, 52 C]

* * *

><p>(The track gates have been switched!)<p>

Cody rolled himself a 2, but he only needed a 1 to reach Geoff...

"**WOW!**" he exclaimed. "I've got a Gilded Chris! Willing to trade Coins for a Gilded Chris?"

"**OF COURSE!**"

"Okay, here's your Gilded Chris!"

Cody paid 20 Coins to get his second Gilded Chris.

"Woo hoo! I'm the best!"

* * *

><p>"Alright, dudes and dudettes, let me show where to get the next Gilded Chris!"<p>

Geoff relocated to a new location, on the other side of the board... and, luckily for Trent, two spaces in front of where he currently is.

"Come get your Gilded Chris, right here, folks!"

* * *

><p>Cody finished out his turn. Duncan rolled a 1. Then Trent rolled a 1 and landed on a blue space with a star on it, which meant...<p>

(1-Player Game!  
>Ghost Guess)<p>

* * *

><p>In this one-player game, Trent is surrounded by ghosts. Of Courtney, in actuality. There were eight of her, and for Trent to win, he had to locate the real Courtney ghost and punch her.<p>

(**START!**)

The Courtneys walked around Trent in a circle. Since the others were copies, the real one had to be whichever one moved first. Trent concentrated, then picked one and punched her.

But the one he hit did not disappear, and instead all of the Courtneys advanced on Trent, smothering him to death, so to speak.

(**MISS!**)

* * *

><p>Back to the game board for Gwen's turn. She rolled a 9 and proceed onto the track. And with that...<p>

(4-Player Game!  
>No, wait...<p>

8-Player Game!  
>Bob-ombic Plague)<p>

"**WHAT?**" all four lead characters yelled in surprise.

* * *

><p>Each player was randomly assigned a partner, whose identity they would know by whomever was standing directly across from them when the lights went up. At that moment, they did just that. The eight participants were standing on the petals of an eight-pronged flower, which had a five petal flower inside of it, and a circle inside that. Cody's partner was Sierra, Duncan's was Noah, Trent's was DJ, and Gwen's was Tyler.<p>

As for the game... well, they knew what was up when a Bob-omb dropped into Cody's arms... and it was lit!

(**START!**)

Cody threw it to his left, to Duncan. Duncan then passed it to Trent, who passed it to Gwen, and so on, around the circle. They knew it was about to detonate when it began glowing red, so panic set in. Tyler had just gotten it and was about to pass it to Cody when it exploded! The bomb not only took out Tyler, but also DJ to his right and Cody to his left!

The remaining five participants moved to the inner flower and a new Bob-omb was dropped into the play, landing in Noah's hands. Again, they passed it around, hoping not get caught with the bomb... or be next to the one with it. This time, Duncan had it in hand when it went off, taking out Noah and Trent.

The game started with two girls and it would end with two, as Gwen and Sierra were left to volley back and forth one last Bob-omb. Gwen started with it and she and Sierra tossed it back and forth. The bomb glowed red, and then...

"**AAAHHHHHH!**" screamed Cody as she went flying.

(**FINISH!**  
>Cody &amp; Sierra win!)<p>

For winning an 8-player challenge, Cody received 20 Coins instead of the usual 10.

[Standings: Cody 2 GC, 86 C - Gwen 0 GC, 72 C - Trent 0 GC, 59 C - Duncan 0 GC, 58 C]

* * *

><p>(The track gates have been switched!)<p>

The final turn began with Cody rolling a 10! Duncan rolled a 4, but he stopped on a red space. Trent also got a 4, but in the process, he reached Geoff...

"**WOW!**" he exclaimed. "I've got a Gilded Chris! Willing to trade Coins for a Gilded Chris?"

"You bet!"

"Okay, here's your Gilded Chris!"

Trent paid 20 Coins to get his first Gilded Chris of the game.

"I'm gonna win!"

* * *

><p>"Alright, dudes and dudettes, let me show where to get the next Gilded Chris!"<p>

Geoff relocated to a new location, near the bridge that went over the first part of the track.

"Come get your Gilded Chris, right here, folks!"

* * *

><p>Trent finished his last move. Gwen rolled a 5, stopping on a blue space. That meant the final mini-game was...<p>

(1 vs 3 Game!  
>Shock, Drop, or Roll)<p>

* * *

><p>Duncan was on a platform, next to a lever that controlled a turbine on which Cody, Trent, and Gwen were standing on it. He had 30 seconds to confuse them and knock them off into the live electrical beams below.<p>

(**START!**)

Duncan kept moving the lever back and forth, changing the direction the turbine would spin and hoping to throw the others off balance. It worked quickly on both Cody and Gwen, who fell off and were subjected to several dozen volts of electricity. Trent tried his best, but then he realized that he was not gonna win, so he took a dive. A shocking one, in more ways than one.

(**FINISH!**  
>Duncan wins!)<p>

[Standings: Cody 2 GC, 92 C - Trent 1 GC, 45 C - Gwen 0 GC, 78 C - Duncan 0 GC, 62 C]

* * *

><p>The four players were gathered back at the starting line along with Chris so they could find out the final results.<p>

"Before we find out who wins," Chris announced, "let's award some bonus Gilded Chrises!"

"Huh?" Gwen gasped. "You never said anything about those!"

"Nobody said I had to! Anyway... first is the Game Gilded Chris, which is given to the player who earned the most Coins in Mini-Games. The Game Gilded Chris Award goes to... Cody!"

Cody stepped forward to receive his bonus award.

"Next is the Coin Gilded Chris Award. This award goes to the player who collected the most Coins throughout the game. The Coin Gilded Chris Award goes to... Cody!"

Cody stepped forward to receive another bonus award.

"Last is the Happening Gilded Chris. This award goes to the player who landed on the most '?' spaces. Oh! This time, we have two Happening Gilded Chrises. Duncan and Trent!"

They each stepped forward to receive their bonus award. Once they stepped back, a drum roll began to ring out in the background.

"Now, the moment you've all been waiting for! Our winner is..."

Bridgette walked in with a crown in hand. Whomever she put it on was the winner. And the lucky person was...

"**CODY!**"

Cody danced around in jubilation while Duncan kicked at air in disgust and Trent lowered his head in disappointment.

"Woo hoo! I'm the best!"

Cody's Roulette Block appeared one last time, and he jumped up to hit it. Out came a penguin suit, and he became... Penguin Cody!

"Eh," he shrugged. "I don't care! **I WON!**"

He then waddled over to Gwen and rubbed his head up and down her arm.

"So, Gwen... ready for an 'ice' time with the Cod-meister?"

Gwen smiled coyly, then leaned in and gave Cody a peck on the cheek.

"Wow! I guess I'll take that as a yes!"

The couple headed off, arm in arm, to spend some time alone together.

"Hope you're ready for a wild time tonight!"

"You know it! Just let me pull out my..."

"You actually carry one **WITH** you?"

"Even playas have to be safe, if you catch my drift!"

"**AND...**" Chris cut in, "**THAT'S** all the time we have! Cody wins some time with his dream girl, and this fic is **OVER**! McLean... **OUT!**"

**The End**

**Author's Notes:**  
>And there you go! By your votes, Cody wins! Let's hope they have a romantic time together.<p>

For those curious, the voting results were: Cody 54%, Trent 36%, Gwen should stay single 9%, Duncan 0% (rounded figures, so they don't add up to 100% perfectly). Not satisfied with the ending? Well, I wrote an outcome for each possible voting occurrence. In other words, there are three alternate endings! Wanna see 'em? Go to my website, Freedom Fighter's Library, tomorrow night to see them all!

One last note... I'd like to encourage you to fill out the survey that's linked on my profile page. I want to get a pulse on what you guys liked in this and other fanfics I've released this year so far. Please take the time to fill it out!

Thanks for reading! Be kind and leave a review, and see you next time!

- Freedom Fighter


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